


Write Me a Lullaby

by Jubilee44



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Comic-Con, Developing Relationship, Dogs, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fatherhood, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Great Dane, Hospitals, Marvel Actors, Mentions of Sex, Miscarriage, POV First Person, Pen Pals, Pregnancy, RPF, Swearing, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-04-26 07:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 49,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14397552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubilee44/pseuds/Jubilee44
Summary: Delilah has been writing to her Penpal for almost six years. She doesn't know his real name and she doesn't know what he does for a living. When she's set to meet him, she's surprised to find out she's been falling in love with Sebastian Stan





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All work is fiction and in no way associated with any real-life events. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. Do not repost, translate, or rework.

_Dear Ian,_

_Thanks for writing. I’ve never had a pen pal before but it’s sort of fun. I love getting snail mail. It’s such a rare joy in life. California must be nice; I’d like to live somewhere warmer. I’m getting sick of the snow. Twenty-four years of it is more than enough. I don’t know much about movie making and stuff. Do you do behind the scenes work? That seems so interesting. Being a photographer is sort of fun. I do a lot of weddings which means I have to deal with a lot of bridezillas. I love it though; it’s better than just an office job. My favorite is when I have enough money to travel and photograph people and exotic animals. I’m a photography nerd; I’ll talk about it a lot if you don’t mind._

_Can’t wait to hear from you again,_

_Delilah_

 

            This was the first letter I sent to him. He was the person who responded to my personal ad online looking for a pen pal. I was lonely. My friends were all busy with their lives. One was married, one was getting ready for a baby on the way, one was working herself to death and trying to save her failing relationship with her high school sweetheart. I tried throwing myself into my work with photography but it only seemed to make me feel lonelier. Online dating was a bust for a million different reasons. After being stood up for the second time I decided to go another route. I went online to look for someone to swap handwritten letters with. It was something I always liked as a child. Receiving letters from my grandparents, writing to friends at camp, thank you cards, I kept them all in a box. So when Ian replied to my ad, I was elated. He was thoughtful, intelligent, and down to Earth. We wrote to each other so much that I needed to make an entirely separate box to keep his letters in. We wrote back and forth for six years before we met. But that’s a completely different story.

 

_Dear Delilah,_

_Everyone’s talking about Captain America. I know someone who worked on it and they kept me updated about it. They said it would be good so I did see it. I’m glad you liked it. Those photos of your dog and those puffins are so funny. I’m surprised he was so afraid of them; he’s like four times their size. We should plan a trip to Antarctica together so you can take pictures of penguins and polar bears. And so I can say I’ve been to Antarctica. I mean you don’t like the cold but it can’t be that bad. Plus, when you move to California you’ll have more than enough sun._

 

            He always talked about when we would meet. We never made plans though. We just came up with exotic trips to take together so I could photograph and he could travel. He loved to travel. He loved life and that was one reason why I fell for him. He talked about me moving to Los Angeles too. I always treated it as a joke but I wanted nothing more than to move there. But it was so expensive. I saved but I never specified that the money would be for California. I never wanted to get my hopes up too much.

 

 

            _Dear Ian,_

_Enclosed are the photos of the Russian woman and her Husky I met at the park the other day. She gave me her son’s email so I could send her the pictures. He sent me back an email saying she loved them. You would’ve loved her, she was so funny. I asked her what she was knitting and she said she was ‘knitting for knit’s sake’. I love people sometimes. But then, of course, I had a spring wedding and it didn’t go well. The bride kept going off on the bridesmaids about being in too many of her pictures. I’m just glad she didn’t yell at me. Marriage doesn’t seem as great as it’s chalked up to be. I may just stay single forever._

            Although I knew I was in love with Ian, I had a feeling it was just an emotional thing. I could fall in love with someone’s words. But I’ve never met him before so what’s the point in falling in love? I didn’t think I would ever meet him. But then he sent me a letter to change that.

           

            _Dear Delilah,_

_I have a job for you if you’re up to it. There’s going to be a convention in San Diego and they were looking for photographers. I’m going to be there and I thought it would be a good place to meet. I’ll send you details over email. Let me know if you want to go._

_Ian_

            Before I knew it, I was on a flight to San Diego. Ian paid for everything, which was more than I could’ve asked for. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but I definitely wasn’t expecting what happened when I arrived.

 

            I had Ian’s number now and it was strange to hear back from him so quickly. I was used to waiting days for responses. But now I felt closer, literally, I was in the same building he was in.

            The convention center was crowded beyond belief. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen. People wandered among the halls, some dressed up as legendary characters, others toting around bags of comics and other merchandise. I felt a little out of place in my sweater and holding a camera. But in a way, I felt dignified with my press badge hanging around my neck.

            After taking a few pictures of some cosplayers, I went over to the room where I was supposed to be taking pictures. Ian said he would meet me outside the panel was over. There was a long line waiting outside of the room but I was allowed through because of my badge. I glanced to my left before entering and noticed the sign for the panel. Sebastian Stan Panel.

            My heart skipped a beat. Ian knew I had a bit of a celebrity crush on Sebastian. I wasn’t immune to his good looks and bad boy air to him. I found a place near the stage to set up my equipment. I paused to send a text to Ian.

            _You got me into a Sebastian Stan panel? You’re the best. I can’t wait to meet you._

            Because honestly, I was still in love with Ian. Sure I could fawn after Sebastian but he was just a nice looking face. I was sure he was nothing like Ian. He was probably full of himself like most celebrities were.

            I looked down when I got another text from Ian.

            _I can’t wait to meet you either._

 

            The panel began and the room was packed. I was a little nervous as I realized I would be in front of Sebastian. But I tried to seem professional and kept my eye on the prize, getting my job done and meeting Ian.

            Sebastian came out and I startled a little when the mass of fans around me began to scream. I chuckled to myself and started to take a few shots of him coming onto the stage and sitting down.

            After the crowd had settled, Sebastian and the host began to chat a little. I listened but I focused on the pictures and checking my phone for updates from Ian. But he had stopped texting me. I tried not to worry.

            Halfway through the panel, they started to field questions.

            “Okay, hi, so Sebastian, you said recently that you had a pen pal. Why did you decide to get one and who is the person?”

            I blinked. Sebastian Stan had a pen pal? Sure I guess it wasn’t that common in the age of social media but I didn’t think beyond it being a strange coincidence.

            “Yeah, so about six years ago I decided to answer this woman’s ad for a pen pal. I’m not sure why I did it, but she seemed really kind and I wanted someone to talk to. I wanted someone who could look beyond my fame and see who I really am. I don’t regret answering. She’s one of the closest friends I have and she really understands everything. I really care for her.”

            I wasn’t sure if I was really processing everything. I was listening but I wasn’t connecting the dots because it didn’t seem plausible. Sebastian Stan couldn’t be my pen pal. I was just imagining things.

            Then he looked over at me. “Delilah…it’s really nice to finally see your face in person.”

            I froze. Either someone was playing an elaborate prank on me or Sebastian Stan was my pen pal. I lowered my camera and locked eyes with him. “You’re…”

            Sebastian nodded slightly and the rest of the room erupted with talking and whispering. The voices just blurred together and my mind started to filter it out entirely.


	2. Chapter 2

            After the panel ended, I hung around the room as the fans filtered out. I wasn’t sure exactly where I was supposed to go or what I was supposed to do. My mind was racing. I had fallen for Sebastian Stan, the actor I thought I just had a small crush on. He was Ian; he was everything I wanted in a person.

            My phone buzzed and Ian’s name popped up. I shook my head when I realized I had my celebrity crush’s number.

            _I’m out in the hall if you want to still meet._

            It was like my feet weren’t working properly. I wanted to run outside to meet the man I’d been talking to for years, but I was so scared. I took a few steps towards the door then paused. What if I wasn’t everything he wanted? I wasn’t some Hollywood actress; I was just some normal girl from a small city. But that’s who he continued to talk to. He continued to write to me despite all the things he knew about me. He knew about my family, he knew about my friends, he knew who I was. I continued walking and opened the doors.

            He was standing outside in the hallway like he said he would be. He smiled when he saw me.

            “So…is Ian an alias?” I asked. My voice didn’t sound like my own. It sounded out of pitch and quiet.

            Sebastian laughed weakly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah…sorry I didn’t give you my real name. But, I just wanted to be someone else with you. I wanted to be honest.” He shrugged slightly.

            I nodded and felt my heart rate increase. “It’s okay, I understand.” I cleared my throat and looked down at my feet. “So…wow, sorry I thought this would be a little different. But you’re suddenly…you.” I blushed.

            “I know. I didn’t know how to make it any easier. I figured this would be okay, so I didn’t just sneak up on you.” Sebastian explained and walked a few steps closer to me. “But I’m still the guy you wrote to.”

            That sealed the deal. I had fallen in love with the man who was standing in front of me now. It didn’t matter if he was an actor. He was still my pen pal. Without thinking, I quickly hugged him and without hesitation, he hugged me back.

 

 

            “When you read my letters were you thinking about how you were going to tell me?”

            Sebastian laughed brightly. “I wasn’t really that famous back then.” He pointed out. “Things have sort of…changed I guess. I never thought it would turn out this way.”

            I nodded and took a sip of my coffee as I thought to myself. I was starting to feel more at ease around him as time passed.

            “Did you picture someone different?” Sebastian looked amused by the conversation.

            “Well, I wasn’t exactly expecting you.” I shrugged shyly. “We’re you expecting me to be someone famous?” I teased.

            “Not exactly...I was sure I was the only undercover famous person.” Sebastian chuckled. “I mean I was truthful about a lot of stuff, I guess I was just vague about other things. I didn’t want you to get freaked out.”

            “Well, popping up out of nowhere really worked.” I teased.

            “It was either that or writing to you. I thought you would believe me more if we met face to face.”

            I thought about it for a moment. “That’s true, I probably wouldn’t have believed you. I still sort of don’t believe it.”

            Sebastian nodded but didn’t seem to know what else to say. We both fell silent as the city buzzed around us.

            “So what’s next?” I asked.

            “What do you mean?” Sebastian asked curiously.

            “I mean you’re…you and I’m…me. So where does that leave us?” I looked up from my coffee. “I’m sure you’re busy and traveling lot…”

            “Right but I was hoping we could…uh…” Sebastian lost his train of thought as he gazed at me.

            My face turned bright red. “What?” I ducked my head.

            “Sorry, you’re just…I didn’t expect you to be as beautiful as you are.” Sebastian said softly.

            I rolled my eyes. “Stop, you’re flattering me.”

            “No, I’m serious!” Sebastian grinned and reached across the small café table to touch my hand. “I-I fell in love with your personality, your intellect, your…compassion, and enthusiasm for life. But your looks just finish it off. I really didn’t think I was ever going to find the perfect woman, but I did.”

            “Sebastian…” I swallowed.

            “I know it’s sort of sudden but will you stay in California?” He asked hopefully. “I know you have a life out east but I really want to be closer to you.”

            “I can’t believe this is happening,” I said in astonishment. “You…a famous actor…you want to be with me?”

            Sebastian looked at me earnestly. “I really do. So what do you say?” He asked.

            “Yeah…I-I’ll stay.”


	3. Chapter 3

            Sebastian’s hand burned into my shoulder. He rested it ever so gently over my shirt as he guided us through the hotel lobby. He looked conspicuous with a baseball cap and sunglasses. I wasn’t sure I would even glance his way if I saw him walking past me. The elevators were towards the back of the lobby and slightly hidden from the public view. Sebastian pushed the button and I could feel his eyes on me.

            “Are you hungry?” He asked. “We could order room service.”

            I felt butterflies in my stomach as I realized how simple everything seemed. I had coffee with Sebastian Stan and now I was going up to his room. “Sure, that’s good.” I wasn’t sure if I was speaking proper English or not. Just a touch or a look from him scrambled my thoughts.

            The elevator opened and we stepped inside. The doors closed after a moment and we were alone. I leaned against the railing inside and he did the same across from me.

            Our eyes met and he smiled slightly. “How adventurous are you?” He wondered.

            “I came out to meet you didn’t I?” I raised an eyebrow. “And agreed to stay.” I pointed out.

            “That’s true.” Sebastian nodded. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of me.

            I blushed and looked down at my feet. “Why do you ask?”

            “Because I really want to kiss you right now but I don’t want to overstep my boundaries.” He answered truthfully.

            I almost let out a squeak of excitement mixed with shock. I cleared my throat to cover up the noise and glanced back up at him. “You think that would be overstepping boundaries?” I wondered.

            “Well…I don’t know for sure.” He looked a little embarrassed. It seemed out of character for him. I’d only known him as the dashing actor who played bad boy roles and always looked so dangerously handsome in pictures. But then I recalled some interviews I’d seen of him where he seemed like he was the sweetest and goofiest person on the planet. It assured me that I was dealing with his true self.

            “You’re not.” I clarified for him just in case he needed me to. I didn’t feel like dancing around the fact that I had fallen helplessly for him. We had been chasing each other for years in the letters we sent back and forth. Now that we were face to face I wanted to be straightforward with him.

            Sebastian smiled and gestured for me to come closer. My stomach flip-flopped and I realized I wasn’t in a dream. This was real life and my celebrity crush was going to kiss me if I crossed that elevator.

            I was about to take a step when the doors opened and a family got on. Sebastian and I gave each other amused looks and stayed at our separate sides of the elevator. After a few awkward moments, Sebastian nodded at me that we were on the right floor. We stepped off together and he took my hand as we walked down the hallway.

            I waited patiently as he dug into his pocket for his wallet so he could grab the room key. After swiping the key, he opened the door for me first.

            I kicked my shoes off and glanced back when I heard him shut the door. Our eyes met for a moment before he rested a hand on either cheek and searched my face for permission.

            I nodded slightly and tipped my chin up a bit to make it a little easier for him. He tilted his head to the side to lock his lips with mine. We meshed perfectly and it was like my whole body was floating. Time didn’t seem to matter, I forgot about all of my responsibilities and hardly even noticed the space around me. We could’ve been transported to the moon but I wouldn’t notice. I wondered if what I was feeling was the touch of my soulmate. I didn’t know for sure, it was too early to tell, but I sure as hell was going to find out.

 

            “Do you get bombarded by the paparazzi often?”

            Sebastian looked up at me with a wry smile. “Why? Are you second guessing things?” He asked playfully.

            I smiled back and shook my head. “No, I was just wondering if you were against being photographed.” I looked up from my breakfast.

            “I don’t think I’d do very well if I was against being photographed,” Sebastian replied coyly.

            I rolled my eyes and felt my cheeks go a little red. I was still acclimating to being around him and holding conversations. It still didn’t feel real to me. “Well, it was just a question.”

            “Why are you asking?” Sebastian seemed to see right through me. It was like he knew what I was thinking as I was talking.

            “I was just wondering…I mean you can say no if you want, don’t feel obligated…” I was caught off guard by his eyes. “If I did a photo-shoot in LA would you mind being in some pictures?” I asked.

            Sebastian chuckled. “I knew that’s what you were getting at.” He said. “I would be happy to. It would be awesome to be a part of your work.”

            I beamed. “Well, it would be awesome for you to be a part of my work,” I replied.

            “Good, just let me know when I’m needed and I’ll be there.”

            “I’ll make sure I do.” I glanced out of the café window out onto the street.

            “So your sister’s flying Rocket over next week?” Sebastian asked.

            I smiled when I thought of my timid but giant Great Dane. “Yeah, she got a ticket for him. I can’t wait for you to meet him. I miss him so much.” I sighed and unlocked my phone to look at a picture of him on the beach.

            “I can’t wait to meet him either. He’s like your baby.” Sebastian laughed. “I’m lucky if I could make a close second.”

            “Well, you’re close but…” I showed him another picture. “Look at that cute face.”

            “I don’t have a cute face?” Sebastian pouted playfully.

            “You’re like…attractive cute. Rocket is adorably cute.”

            “I can be adorable and cute.” He protested. “I mean you kiss me. Rocket’s not as good of a kisser as I am.” He gave me a mischievous look.

            “Sure he’s a little more slobbery but…” I pretended to think about it just to toy with him.

            “Oh, that’s just low.” Sebastian tsked. “I thought we really had something special here.”

            “We do, you just have to get used to the fact that Rocket likes sleeping close to me. And he’s huge so he might kick you off the bed.” I warned.

            “Darn. Well, I guess I’ve waited this long.” Sebastian sighed and smiled quirkily.

            “You’ve been waiting for me?” I raised an eyebrow.

            “Well, I mean I hoped we would at least meet one day.” Sebastian shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to be this lucky. But I hoped that I would be able to meet a girl like you.”

            “I know what I see in you but I’m not really sure what you see in me,” I admitted. “You know you could have a lot of different women.” I pointed out. “Like actresses…singers.”

            “Right, but I don’t.” Sebastian shrugged. “Because I love the person that you are. I love Delilah because she’s everything I want in a partner. You’re kind, sweet, you care about yourself, the people you love, animals. You know who you are. You’re not swayed by other opinions because you’re strong in your beliefs. I know that you would fight for anyone who didn’t have a voice. Remember the time you went to photograph refugees?”

            That had been years ago. I was stunned to realize that Sebastian cherished everything we wrote back and forth. He was genuinely interested in my life. “Yeah…I sent you some of those pictures.”

            “I’ll have to show you something when we get back to my apartment.” Sebastian smiled. “But when you showed me those pictures I knew how much you cared. Your eyes were open to the world around you. You weren’t self-absorbed. That’s why I fell for you.”

 

            “Oh, Rocket, no!” I exclaimed when my dog ran into Sebastian’s apartment and went to sit right on the couch. “Rocket, off!” I scolded.

            Sebastian smiled. “It’s fine, he can sit there.” He helped me with my things. “I’m sure he’s just happy that you’re both together again.”

            “Mhm, it shows.” I giggled as Rocket began to fall asleep on the couch. “I think he’s just tired from the flight.” I took a bag from him. “So what’s the big thing you want to show me?” I asked.

            Sebastian smiled and gestured for me to follow. In the living room, there was a bookshelf. On the first shelf was a photo album. He opened it and held it out to me to look at.

            My eyes widened in surprise when I noticed they were the pictures I had sent Sebastian over the years, including the ones of the refugees. “You…you kept all of these?” I asked quietly.

            “Well, I didn’t want to throw them away. They’re really good, Delilah.”

            I slowly flipped through the pages. “Sebastian…” I looked up at him. I didn’t think anyone in the world really cared for me that much. I set the album down and hugged him close.


	4. Chapter 4

            Sebastian laughed. “Those are the brightest socks I’ve ever seen.”

            I bit my lip and wiggled my toes against his. I felt warm all over. I was in Sebastian’s bed, under a blanket and tangled in his arms. Rocket was curled up on the end of the bed, perfectly content in his new home.

            “You don’t like them?” I smiled at my fuzzy socks that were peeking out from under the blanket.

            “No, I like them, they’re just very neon.” Sebastian smiled. “I’ve never seen socks like that.”

            “I got them for Valentine’s Day,” I recalled from the bright pink hearts that decorated them.

            “From your boyfriend?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

            I snorted and rolled my eyes. “No, from my mom, silly.” I propped my chin up to look at him. “Jealous?”   

            “No, just wondering.” He shrugged slightly making me move with him.

            Rocket lifted his head and glanced over at Sebastian and then me. I laughed softly.

            “Yes?” I asked like he could understand me.

            “He’s so calm. Why is it that tiny dogs are hyper and big dogs are quiet?” Sebastian wondered out loud.

            “Well, maybe little dogs just don’t have enough room to contain their energy.” I shrugged and giggled. “I’m not a vet.”

            “I won’t question it. I guess I’m just glad Great Danes aren’t over energetic. I’m sure if he got like those little Pomeranians he’d rip the place up.”

            “You should’ve seen him when he was a puppy.” I smiled warmly and used my foot to rub Rocket’s stomach. “He chewed on everything. He had his ‘growth chart’ on my bedroom door. Little chew marks that showed how tall he’d gotten. Thank God he outgrew it.” I shook my head.

            A warm rumble came from Rocket’s throat and he settled back down, resting his chin on Sebastian’s shin.

            “I’m so glad you’re here.” Sebastian murmured and kissed the top of my head.

            I smiled and felt butterflies in my stomach. “I’m glad I’m here too,” I replied softly.

            “So, would you want to meet some of my friends?” Sebastian wondered as he laced his fingers in with mine.

            I looked up at him with a bit of apprehension. “Like, your famous friends?”

            Sebastian shrugged. “I guess. I already told some of them about you and I’m sure they’d really like to meet you.”

            “Sure…I just don’t know if I’m…” I gestured blindly to myself.

            “Trust me, Delilah, I don’t hang around fake people. No one is going to care about how you look or what your status in Hollywood is.” Sebastian assured me. “They’re going to love you.”

            I sighed and nodded. “Alright, sure.” I smiled up at him.

            He kissed my cheek. “I’m just so excited to have you be a part of my life.” He admitted a bit shyly.

            “And I’m excited to be a part of your life too. I’m just a little nervous, it’s all so new to me.” I pointed out.

            “I know and anything I can do to make things easier, I’ll do it.” He promised.

            I nuzzled his neck and closed my eyes. I found a comfortable spot in the crook of his neck and rested my head there. “I know you will. I trust you.”

 

            The first time someone took a picture of Sebastian and me, we were walking Rocket. I probably shouldn’t have been so surprised, especially because he’d warned me beforehand.

            “Oh good, you got sunglasses.”

            “Yeah, it’s pretty bright out there. We’re not used to so much sunlight.” I smiled down at Rocket who was practically bouncing off the walls. Once he saw me take out his leash he went to the door and tried sitting patiently but could barely contain himself. He kept whimpering and wagging his tail.

            “Do you have a hat?” Sebastian asked. He looked me over like he was going over a checklist.

            “Uh…no, I think all of mine are still packed away,” I said.

            “Here,” Sebastian went into the front closet and handed me a baseball cap. “You’re going to want this.”

            “Because of the sun? I don’t mind it all that much.”

            “No, just to be more conspicuous.” He clarified as he put on a Yankees hat and dark sunglasses. “I don’t want other people focusing on us. I just want this to be a walk for us, not them.”

 

            And that was good enough for me. But Rocket himself was a big enough distraction for most people, especially because he stood almost over most of the population’s knees. And he had a tendency to try to meet everyone he passed.

            That’s when someone with a professional camera spotted Sebastian. Unfortunately, he didn’t notice them as we were crossing the street. When he did. He wrapped a protective arm around me and firmly steered me in the opposite direction of the shutterbug.

            I’d seen enough pictures and videos of celebrities out and about so I had an idea of what to do. I ducked my head, trying to get the best coverage from Seb’s hat. I focused on Rocket’s leash in my hand as I followed Sebastian’s lead.

            “Honestly, I don’t understand how they do that for a living.” He grumbled when we got a fair distance away from the man.

            I giggled and looked up at him, raising an eyebrow at him.

            Sebastian realized what I was silently saying. “No, I mean what you do is actual art.” He shook his head. “You don’t bother people when you photograph. Those guys just stalk people for a salary.”

            “I sort of stalk animals for a salary. Not so much people because I like getting consent, but I once chased a tortoise on the Galapagos Islands for a picture.”

            Sebastian laughed. “How in the hell do you chase a tortoise?” He asked. “Aren’t they super slow?”

            “Yes, but he kept turning away from me at the last second!” I complained. “I kept having to run around in circles to try to get the right angle. I’m pretty sure my guide thought I was crazy.”

            “I wouldn’t say crazy,” He chuckled in amusement, “I would say…determined.”

            “Exactly, I was very determined. But I’m pretty sure the poor guy felt like a celebrity.”

            Sebastian sighed. “I guess it’s just something I’m still getting used to. I mean if I could shield you from it, I would.”

            We arrived at a small dog park and I let Rocket off his leash to sniff around. There were only a few other medium sized dogs in the area and they were focused on a tennis ball being thrown to them. I knew Rocket would keep to himself. I sat down next to Sebastian on a small bench.

            “Are you going to say anything about us?” I wondered curiously. We hadn’t discussed our public life very much. I knew he wanted me to meet his friends but there was a whole other aspect of going public when it came to being a famous actor.

            “I wanted to keep you out of the spotlight for as long as I could,” Sebastian admitted. “It would save you a lot of trouble, I think. I know you could handle it, it’s just…overwhelming.”

            I nodded slowly. I don’t think I really could imagine being on the other side of a red carpet. I had done some photography for some small movie festivals, just for the extra cash. Even where I was amidst the reporters, I felt a little exposed. The lights were too bright and it was too loud. Everyone seemed to be talking.

            “But honestly, I don’t know how long that could last.”

            “Right…I didn’t think so.” I shrugged. “Well, I think I knew what I was signing up for. Can’t get the man without the fame.” I smiled.

            Sebastian glanced over at me and smiled back. He wrapped an arm around me, a little gentler than before.

            I shimmied a little closer to him and rested my cheek on his shoulder. “I’m sure as long as you’re by my side I can tolerate it.”

            “I’m sure if you’re by my side my life will seem easier.” He agreed. “You’ll make it worth something more.”

            “I’m not sure about that…” I looked up when I heard Rocket bark and run towards us. “Aw, what, baby?” I cooed.

            “I think another dog was trying to play with him,” Sebastian said pointed at the collie that had gone up to him.

            “He’s the kid that would rather sit with his mom than play with the other children,” I said. “He’s my shy big guy.” Rocket tried to get behind the bench to hide behind Sebastian and me.

            He chuckled and scratched behind Rocket’s ears. “It’s alright, bud.”

            Rocket poked his snout in between us and rested it on the bench. He looked up at me and then to Sebastian.

            “Well, we tried. I guess dog parks just aren’t for you.” I sighed and stroked his fur. “We’ll just take regular walks for now.” Rocket snuggled up to me and let his eyes slide closed a little.

            Sebastian kept me close without squishing Rocket between us. He kissed my temple and we stayed sitting there for a moment, just watching the dogs play fetch. It felt normal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested, I just started a Chris Evans RPF. Also, I post all my work on Tumblr: http://ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes.tumblr.com/
> 
> Also, someone asked about the length of this fic. I already wrote out a good 100 or so pages and I haven't quite come to a conclusion so it'll probably be pretty long. My love for Sebastian is neverending. I'll just post a chapter every day until I get caught up with what I have.


	5. Chapter 5

            I lifted my camera up to my face once I was finally content with the angle. I took a deep breath as I double-checked everything was perfect.

            “You’re making me nervous.”

            “Sh, I’m okay.” I snapped the picture a few times and let my camera hang from my neck.

            “Alright, you got it. Now can you come down from there?” Sebastian held out a hand to me.

            “Take my baby first.” I slipped my camera off my neck and held it down to him.

            Sebastian took my camera and set it on my backpack. “Okay, now let me help you.” He said and reached up to me.

            I was perched on a big boulder a little bit off the hiking trail we were following. It was up the mountain with the Hollywood sign perched on it. I wasn’t used to the desert-like terrain and climate but I began to enjoy myself.

            Every time I visited a new place I got a little carried away with trying to get a picture of everything I found interesting. I was used to taking a few risks to get the perfect picture, but Sebastian wasn’t. He held his breath every time I went close to an edge or climbed up something.

 

            I rested my hands on his shoulders so he could help me down. He held my waist firmly until my feet were safely on the ground again. “Alright, I promise not to scare you again today,” I said.

            “Today? How about like…ever again.” Sebastian bargained.

            “Hey, sometimes the perfect shot takes a few hazards to get.” I shrugged and reached down to pick up my camera and bag.

            Sebastian made a face. “Is it always worth it though?”

            I quickly snapped a picture of his face. “You look like a confused puppy.” I teased. “And yes, it is. One time I won an award for a picture that I free climbed a tree for. The guide wasn’t happy with me but art doesn’t follow rules.” I began to start walking again.

            “I like that.” Sebastian smiled. “I could see that quote over an inspirational picture of a sunset or something.”

            I laughed and took his hand in mine. “I could see that…”

            “This a good spot?” Sebastian walked out to a ledge with a nice view. I assumed he deemed it safe because he sat down. Rocket eagerly went to sit next to him, stealing my usual spot.

            Initially, I thought Rocket would push him away from me. I thought he’d get jealous that I was showing affection to another person. Instead, he frequently got in between Sebastian and me to be closer to him, not to me. It was funny until he started pushing me off the bed in the middle of the night to take my spot cuddled against Sebastian.

            I laughed softly and sat next to the big dog. I rubbed his back affectionately. “You’re a good boy,” I said softly. “Did you like coming out for a hike with us?”

            Rocket panted happily and looked over to lick my face.

            Sebastian reached into my backpack to bring out the little pop-up bowl for Rocket and poured some of his water into it. “I know, mom took us a lot further than I thought.” He chuckled as he started drinking like there was no tomorrow.

            “Well, I thought I’d take advantage of the nice day and my time with you before you leave,” I said with a shrug.

            Sebastian was due in Europe for filming. It wasn’t ideal, especially when I knew he’d be gone for a little over two weeks and I had no one in California. Not that I had many people in Michigan but I was used to it more than LA.

            “You know you can come with me.” He said like he had for the last few days.

            “You’ll be working though.”

            “I know but I’ll be in the hotel when I’m not. And if I have days off we can go sightseeing a little. You can visit the set too.” Sebastian tried to entice me to go.

            “What about Rocket?”

            “Well, we could look into taking him or leave him with a friend.” Sebastian offered.

            I looked doubtful. “I dunno…it’s far.”

            “I’m not going to push you into going. I just wanted to be with you.” Sebastian explained. “I know it’s a lot and…I wish I could say this was the one and only time. But it’s not.”

            “Don’t apologize for your career,” I replied. “I knew when I said I would stay.” I reminded him. “We’ll be alright for two weeks,” I said gently. “We’re going to have to get used to it. Sometimes, when I’m ready, I’ll come with you. But sometimes I’ll stay behind. It’ll be the same way if I have to travel for work.” I pointed out.

            Sebastian nodded slowly. “Well…it means a lot to me that you understand.” He said.

            I smiled and tried to lean in front of Rocket to kiss him. But my dog thought the kiss was for him and gave me a sloppy lick on the forehead. I snorted. “Gross, that wasn’t who I was going for, bud,” I complained.

            Sebastian laughed and ruffled Rocket’s ears. “Thanks, she almost got me that time.” He teased.

            I pouted. “I thought you liked kissing your girlfriend.”

            “Mhm, well, you thought wrong.” Sebastian hugged Rocket close. “This is my wingman.”

            “Well, I’m glad you two are so happy together.” I rolled my eyes and gave him a look.           

            “I’m gonna miss you so much, buddy,” Sebastian said to Rocket.

            “You two are ridiculous.” I stood up. “I’m hiking the rest of the way on my own. Don’t wait up.”

            Sebastian laughed and I heard him get up. Rocket’s tags jangled as he ran after me. He nudged my hip with his wet nose when he got close and Sebastian reached for my hand on the other side.

            “Oh, I’m sorry, did you two need something?” I asked.

            “Please, you know we’d both be lost without you.” Sebastian lifted my hand to kiss the top of it.

            “I know. I just worry that sometimes you two forget.” I let a small smile slip.

            “I’ll be helpless without you for two weeks.” He said. “Rocket’s lucky he gets to stay with you. I wish we could trade places.”

            “Rocket as a starring actor.” I giggled. “I’m sure they’d make millions at the box office.”

            He grinned. “I’m sure he would. Maybe I’ll swap out for him one day.”

            “I’d like to see that.” I continued walking along the path and it felt like I was forging ahead in my new life beside Sebastian.

           

 

 

            Rocket came running into the room when he heard Sebastian’s voice. “Hey, buddy…easy!” I was shoved to the side of the couch as he used it as a launch pad so he could see outside. He whined and watched the street below as he wagged his tail.

            “I think he thinks you’re coming home,” I said to Sebastian who was on my phone, face timing me. We were going into week two of being apart.

            “Aw, he misses me?”

            “More than you can imagine.” I rolled my eyes and showed Sebastian how Rocket was acting. “Whenever I come home he looks behind me thinking you’re coming in too.”

            Rocket whimpered gruffly and went to curl up next to me, He rested his head on my lap and continued to make whiny noises.

            “I miss you too, bud, it’s weird not having you two sleeping in my bed,” Sebastian said.

            I smiled and shook my head. “I’m sure you love the slobbery kisses in the morning and snoring.”

            “Yeah, your slobbery kisses and snoring are pretty unbearable.” He teased.

            “Hey! I’m talking about the dog, Buster.” I stuck my tongue out. I sighed and stroked Rocket’s ears idly. “So, everything’s going well?”

            Sebastian nodded. “For the most part. I can’t really complain, it’s just the hours sometimes. I’m exhausted when I get back to the room.”

            “Well good, it doesn’t give you the opportunity to get seduced by another actress or whatever,” I said half joking.

            Sebastian looked surprised. “You think I would cheat on you while I was away?”

            “Well, no.” I shook my head. “You’re not the type. But I don’t really trust that other girls won’t go after you. I mean, everyone still pretty much thinks you’re single, right?” I shrugged.

            “I suppose. But I never would do that to you. I know we haven’t been together for that long but I’ve known you for years.” Sebastian reminded me. “I value our relationship and I would never do anything to hurt you.”

            I bit my lip. “If you were here I would kiss you,” I told him shyly.

            “I’ll try to imagine it.” He smiled. “I love you.”

            “I love you too,” I replied gently. “I miss you…it’s not the same without you.”

            “I know.” Sebastian looked down. “Well, it won’t be long.” He promised. “Before you know it I’ll be back home.”

            I didn’t look convinced. “Alright…”

            “What’re you doing this weekend?” Sebastian asked casually.

            “I guess go grocery shopping. I’ll probably take him for a walk to the park.” I shrugged. “Why?”

            “Just wondering. I don’t want you to be bored.”

            “Alright, well, I’ll keep you updated on our little lives.”

            Sebastian smiled. “I should get to bed, I’m tired. We’ll talk in the morning though.”

            I nodded. “I should be up early, so just text me,” I remembered the time difference between us. “I love you.”

            “I love you more.”


	6. Chapter 6

            I was walking Rocket on Saturday when the weather was nice enough. I yawned slightly. I’d gotten up extremely early to call Sebastian. To my dismay, he couldn’t talk long even though I thought he said he didn’t have to film all day.

            I decided to not focus on missing Sebastian and focus on the nice stuff we would do together when he got home. It still made my heart ache a little.

            Rocket started to bark and pull against the leash. He got more excited than he usually would for a pigeon or another person. I’d only see him get so excited when Sebastian…

            I looked up and my eyes widened when I saw Sebastian standing on the sidewalk. He smiled and held out his arms. I ran to him and let him catch me. It was an instant wave of thrill and relief at the same time.

            “Why are you here?” I asked when I regained my ability to breathe.

            “I wanted to surprise you for the weekend.” Sebastian chuckled and made sure I was stable on my feet before letting go a bit. “Is that alright? I wasn’t sure if you would mind.”

            “Mind?” I shook my head in disbelief. “Sebastian, this is…amazing.”

            Rocket continued to bark and paw at him until Sebastian knelt down to greet him. “Hey, buddy!” He exclaimed. “I missed you so much!”

            I glanced over my shoulder when I heard some murmuring. “Sebs…” I notified him a little nervously. I saw a few of the people watching us take out their phones.

            Sebastian looked up and sighed. “C’mon.” He straightened up and took Rocket’s leash from me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and began to walk back towards the apartment.

            “Sebastian!” I heard someone running across the road. A wide-eyed girl approached us. “Can I please get your autograph?” She asked.

            Sebastian looked a little helpless. I knew he couldn’t say no. “Yeah, sure.” He nodded. “Do you have a pen?”

            She laughed nervously and shook her head. “No, I kind of just saw you and ran.”

            I smiled and reached into my purse. “Here.” I handed Sebastian a pen.

            She looked at me like she couldn’t place my face. “Thanks!” She kept the smile and I knew she was just being polite and pretending like she recognized me.

            “I can take a picture too.” I offered as Sebastian signed the notebook the girl was carrying.

            She looked elated. “Okay, thanks!” She handed me her phone to let me take a picture.

            She rambled on a little more to Sebastian, going a million miles a minute. Finally, she waved and said goodbye to us both.

            I laughed softly and continued walking. I noticed a few people still trailing after us but I didn’t acknowledge them. I didn’t want to bring too much attention to Sebastian.

            He kept walking a little faster than normal. “I don’t want to start a chain reaction.” He said and took a shorter way back home.

            “What’s that like?” I wondered. “Being recognized by strangers?”

            Sebastian shook his head. “Weird, odd…I don’t really know. Before it was really rare and flattering but now it’s…just weird. They know me so well and they’ll never forget our meeting. But I don’t remember all of their faces, it makes me feel like a bad person.” He admitted.

            “Oh, that’s not true. You’ve met a lot of people, it’s understandable.” I said gently. “I’m just a little proud that I’m not a girl you’ll forget,” I said with a shrug.

            Sebastian smiled and leaned over to kiss my temple. “I love you.”

 

            I had never been so spoiled. I almost felt a little guilty about how much Sebastian doted on me. I wasn’t sure if I deserved so much affection from him but he insisted. After getting dinner, opening gifts that Sebastian got me from Europe, I was ready to settle into bed. I walked out wearing one of the outfits Sebastian had bought me, a pair of silky sleep shorts, a bralette, and a beautiful robe.

            Sebastian was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked up. His eyes widened a bit and his mouth slipped open.

            My face went red and I toyed with the ends of the robe’s ties. “What?” I asked shyly.

            “The woman at the store said it would look great on you but I had no idea it would look this good.” He couldn’t keep his eyes off of me. “You’re so gorgeous, ‘Lilah.”

            I giggled and shrugged. “It’s just the clothes.”

            “Nah, it’s you.” Sebastian gestured for me to come over to him.

            I gladly walked over to him and let him scoop me up in his arms. He lay back, so I was straddling his waist. I rested a hand on his chest. I was so happy to be touching him again. “I missed you so much…”

            “I missed you too, printesa.” Sebastian murmured.

            “Hm?” I tilted my head to the side.

            “Princess, it’s Romanian.” He blushed a little. “Sorry, it slips in sometimes.”

            “No, it’s…pretty hot.” I admitted and smirked.

            Sebastian gave me his devilish smile and reached to kiss me passionately. He reached to flip me onto my back and hover over me as we kissed. After a moment, he pulled away. “This all looks great on you, printesa, but I’m afraid it’s coming off tonight.”

            My cheeks went bright red and I let a small moan slip out. “Sebs…” I wrapped my arms around the neck and let him take my heart.

 

            Sebastian had to leave the next morning. He had an early flight back to Europe and he had set an alarm off.

            I heard the slight ringing from his phone and I groaned. “No…” I protested. I wanted more time with Sebastian.

            Sebastian stirred and went to shut the alarm off on his phone. “Dammit.” He grumbled and went to pull me close again. I must have drifted apart from him overnight.

            “Stay,” I begged softly and tightened my arms around him.

            “I really want to.” Sebastian ran his fingers through my hair and yawned. “I would give everything to stay.”

            I pouted and closed my eyes. “Please…”

            “I’m sorry, baby.” He kissed my temple and held me close. “It won’t be long until I’m home for good.”

            I sighed. “Okay.”

            It was like Rocket knew what we were talking about and made a grumbling sound from his throat. He scratched at Sebastian’s hand and rested his chin on his arm.

            “Aw, your baby’s going to miss you.” I cooed softly.

            “I’m going to miss him too.” Sebastian rubbed Rocket’s stomach. “I’m not sure who I’ll miss more.” He smiled playfully.

            I nudged him. “Rude.” I shook my head.

            “Hey, you know I love you.” Sebastian murmured and moved to kiss me again.

            The way he was kissing me wasn’t helping. The longer he touched me the more I wanted him to stay. It made my heart physically ache when I thought about him leaving for another week. Having him nearby made me so happy and I recalled feeling so empty when he was gone.

            Sebastian’s phone started the alarm again. He pulled away and shifted to get up.

            I pouted and reached for his hand. “One more minute…”

            He groaned and leaned in to peck my lips. “You’re making this so damn hard.”

            “You’re making it harder.”

            “You’re the one who’s so gorgeous and undressed in my bed.” Sebastian pointed out.

            I batted my eyelashes. “Who me?” I looked a little mischievous when I realized how I could get him to stay.

            “Yes, you.” Sebastian went to get dressed and fix his hair in the mirror. “It’s unfair. I don’t want to leave you and have some guy snatch you up.”

            I rolled my eyes. “You’re daft to think I would ever leave you for someone else.” I sat up, wrapping the sheets around me.

            He walked back over to the bed. “I trust you but I know that any guy would kill to have a beautiful woman like you.”

            “Well, lucky for you, I’ll only let you see me like this,” I replied with a grin. “You’re cute when you’re jealous though.” I patted his cheek.

            Sebastian smirked. “I’m always cute.” He said and went back to getting ready. “So, my agent is going to get in touch with you.” He said as he went into the bathroom.

            “Your agent?” I sat up and reached to grab Sebastian’s shirt from the night before. “Why?”

            “The premiere for _Logan Lucky_.” He answered.

            “Premiere…like red carpet?” I tensed up immediately. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

            “Yeah, why not?” Sebastian asked through a mouthful of toothpaste.

            “Well…I’m not exactly movie actress material.” I stood up to find a pair of panties after slipping his shirt on. Rocket jumped off the bed and stretched his long legs with a big yawn.

            “I think you are,” Sebastian said after rinsing. “We already went over the fact that you’re gorgeous. You’re very photogenic and my girlfriend.” He listed off. After he finished his morning routine he walked back out to wrap his arms around my waist. “I don’t really want to look like a loser all by myself.” He pouted.

            I rolled my eyes. “You’ve gone to plenty of events by yourself before I came around.” I reminded him.

            “Yeah but that’s when we weren’t dating. Now it’s general knowledge that I have a girlfriend.”

            “Oh yeah?”

            “Well, a few pictures have circulated.” He nodded. “People don’t know who you are so I want to show you off.”

            “You spoil me too much.” I accused with a shy look.

            “You deserve everything I’ve given to you. And you also deserve a lot of attention because you’re stunning.” Sebastian tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. His fingers traced down my jaw and he couldn’t tear his gaze away from me.

            “Do I get to wear an evening gown?” I asked slyly. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to live out my childhood fantasies of looking like a princess even if just for a night.

            “Fuck…I hope you do.” Sebastian groaned. “I’m pretty sure you’ll steal the show no matter what you wear.”

            I giggled and shook my head. “Alright, I’ll go,” I said. “But only because I want to see your jaw drop.” I teased. I didn’t believe all of his praises. I just figured he was trying to flatter me. But now I was trying to come to terms with the fact that I would be walking the red carpet.


	7. Chapter 7

            I was really starting to second-guess myself. The closer we got to the theater, the more nervous I got.

            Sebastian seemed to notice because my grip on his hand got tighter. “Hey, it’s going to be okay.” He whispered softly.

            It felt like such a foreign place to me. I was sitting in the back of a luxurious car, dressed up like a movie star, with an actor boyfriend. Months ago, I was sitting at home in PJs watching red carpet events like the Oscars or Grammys. Now I was thrown headfirst into one. Sure it wasn’t as big as the Oscars but it was still a lot to take on at once. I was terrified I was going to embarrass myself, or worse, embarrass Sebastian.

            I looked over at him. “I feel a little overdressed,” I admitted with a nervous laugh.

            Sebastian smiled. “Trust me, you look perfect.” He’d told me nearly five times before we’d left that I looked beautiful.

            I bit my lip and glanced out the tinted windows. I could see the faint bursts of light from camera flashes. There was a ton of noise from outside the car and it wasn’t helping my anxiety.

            Sebastian squeezed my hand and kissed my hair. “I’ll take care of you.” He promised. The door opened and I realized I couldn’t turn back now.

            Sebastian got out first and helped me. I tried to practice walking in heels a few days before the event to get used to it. But I was just at home, not in front of a lot of people with cameras. Every step I took I felt like I was going to topple over. I clung to Sebastian’s arm tightly and prayed I would stay upright or he would at least catch me.

            “Sebastian, over here.”

            “Sebastian, a little to the left.”

            “Sebastian, right there.”

            “Sebastian,”

            I hadn’t realized how loud and overwhelming it would’ve been. The lights were excruciatingly blinding and the calls from the photographers were at best confusing. I tried to smile but I was sure I looked at least a little troubled or shocked.

            Sebastian kept trying to guide me in the right direction or whisper comforting things to me.

            Then, he was stopped for an interview. I stepped back to let him do his thing. I had no experience in interviews.

            The environment was so noisy I wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying to the reporter. Then I felt a hand on my arm. I glanced over and saw Sebastian and her were both looking at me expectantly.

            “Sorry?” I looked confused.

            “Well, we’ve seen you out with Sebastian a few times. Are you two exclusive?” The reporter asked.

            “Oh,” I looked at Sebastian, “yeah, we’ve been dating for a few months.”

            “Is he a good boyfriend?” She smiled playfully.

            I felt a little relaxed when I saw his beautiful eyes and the amused look on his face. “Of course he is. He’s more than I could have expected.” I said softly.

            For whatever reason, I got more acquainted with the strange setting. I figured it was because of Sebastian’s calming presence. He was a pro and made me feel more at ease with a strong hand on my back or a soft murmur in my ear.

            After the movie, I felt so calm and happy too. Sebastian kept me close and his focus was on me the whole time.

            “So, dancing and a few drinks at the after party. I’m not sure how crowded it will be there but I’m sure we can find a quieter table.” Sebastian said as we walked out of the theater.

            “Afterparty?” I hadn’t heard him even mention a party before.

            “Yeah, a few friends will be there, I want to introduce you.” Sebastian smiled.

            I checked my phone. It was almost midnight. “I just didn’t know we were going to go out after…” I admitted. The event had already drained me of all my energy.

            “We don’t have to stay long…”

            “I’d rather not go,” I said truthfully. I didn’t want to be a bore but I couldn’t even fathom the idea of being somewhere else loud and drinking. I could’ve easily fallen asleep in the theater if we hadn’t been watching the movie. In fact, I was planning on dozing off during the ride home.

            “I promise we’ll only stay an hour…”

            “An hour?”

            “Del, it’ll be fun. You said you wanted to meet my friends, right?” Sebastian replied.

            He was making it difficult, as he looked right into my eyes. “Yes but not at a party. I figured we’d just get dinner together or something.”

            “Well, it’s hard to get together with all of them. We’re all pretty busy.”

            “I know but,” I sighed and looked over my shoulder. I didn’t want to make a scene arguing with him. “Sebs, I’m just not feeling it right now.”

            Sebastian looked torn. “I promised…”       

            “I didn’t. I wish you had told me.”

            “I didn’t think you’d really care that much.” He replied.

            I just shook my head. “I’m not a part of this business.” I reminded him. “I’m not used to being out and partying like this.”

            “Don’t act like I’m this party animal, Delilah.” Sebastian sighed deeply. “I’ve been home and then working.”

            “I never said that. I just need you to know that I’m still adjusting.” I said trying to reason with him.

            “That’s why I think we should go. You’ll get to see some friends and have some fun.”

            “I just want to go home.”

            Sebastian ran a hand through his hair out of frustration. “Fine, I’ll call you an Uber. I’m going to stay though because I promised people.” He decided.

            I didn’t want to force him into anything so I figured it was a good compromise. “Okay…” I said quietly. “I love you,” I whispered.

            Sebastian looked a little guilty. “I love you too.” He said and kissed my cheek. “I won’t be out late.” He promised. “You don’t have to stay up and wait for me though, go to bed. I’ll try not to wake you up when I get in.”

            I nodded and let him call me a car to take me home. I didn’t know it would only get worse from there.

 

            I didn’t hear Sebastian come in that night. I decided things were fine between us though, especially since we left amicably. And I thought things were still fine when I woke up next to him. He promised he would be home that night so I had no reason to be upset at him.

            I let him sleep as I got up to get ready for the day. I was going to meet with a bride who I was going to take engagement pictures for. I was doing my makeup when Sebastian shuffled into the bathroom. He yawned and went to wrap his arms around my waist.

            “Good morning,” I said gently.

            “Hey.” He rested his chin on my shoulder and closed his eyes.

            I set my foundation brush down and ran a hand through his hair. “Hangover?” I figured.

            “Fucking hurts.” Sebastian groaned. “I’m getting too old for shots.”

            I smiled slightly. “Mhm, well there’s aspirin for you in the kitchen. Want me to make breakfast or are you too sick?”

            “I’ll be fine later on, want to get lunch after your appointment?” He opened his eyes and looked at me in the mirror.

            “Sure.” I nodded. “Will you make sure Rocket goes out before you leave?”

            “Yes, ma’am.” He nodded and kissed my cheek.

 

            After the appointment, I met up with Sebastian at a local café. He brought Rocket along and we sat outside on the patio.

            “Did you have fun last night?” I asked as I flipped through a few emails from potential clients. I’d been getting a lot more offers for photo shoots now that I was in LA. It made me excited to further my career so I could possibly travel more in the future.

            “Yeah, it was alright.” Sebastian shrugged.

            I glanced up from my phone. “Okay, so not great?”

            “It was just crowded.” He explained and sighed. “I guess I wished you were there. I was looking forward to having you meet my friends.” He fessed up a little.

            I bit my lip. “I’m sorry. Next time I’ll go. I just didn’t know and I was so tired. I almost went to sleep in that dress.”

            “I get it, I should’ve told you beforehand, that’s my bad.” Sebastian reached for my hand.

            I gently squeezed his hand. “It’s okay, we just know we need to communicate a little better. We’re still getting used to the dating thing.” I reminded him softly.

            He smiled and kissed the top of my hand. “I love you.” He whispered.

            “I love you too.” I felt relieved that we had solved the little problem from the night before without a hitch. It made me confident that we would do well as a couple. I let my hand slip from his and went back to filtering through messages. “The woman I met with was so nice. She and her fiancee were adorable together.” I said. I had a notification pop up with a news article. I had put Sebastian’s name into my news notifications to find pictures of him on set when he was away in Europe. I hadn’t realized it was still turned on. “Oh look at this.” I smiled coyly. “Sebastian Stan steps out with his new girlfriend.” I read the celebrity news headline.

            Sebastian smiled. “Oh yeah? His new girlfriend? Huh, she must be beautiful.”

            I blushed and shook my head as I opened the article and scrolled down. “Sebastian Stan made his first public appearance with new girlfriend, Delilah, who is a professional photographer.” I read with a small laugh. “During an interview, when asked how Sebastian was as a boyfriend, Delilah said ‘He’s more than I could have expected.’ That sounds pretty good to me.” I smiled and kept moving down the article to see the pictures. I felt butterflies in my stomach when I saw myself standing next to Sebastian on the red carpet. It felt unreal seeing myself in that situation and now my picture was online. I turned my phone around to show him the picture.

           Sebastian smiled. “Beautiful.” He murmured.

            I saved the picture and kept going. “Later, Sebastian was seen dancing…” My voice faded as I read. “What…”

            “What?” Sebastian didn’t seem to hear what I’d said.

            I felt like my skin was crawling as I read the words and then saw the picture. “Sebastian…” I whispered.

            “What?” He asked again and looked concerned.

            “What is this?” I showed the picture to him. It was clearly him dancing provocatively with another girl at the after party.

            “Delilah…I-I don’t even remember that.” Sebastian’s eyes widened when he saw the picture.

            “Oh yeah, that’s a good excuse.” I scoffed as my eyes started to tear up. “Spare me the bullshit, Sebastian.”

            “I’m serious, I would never…I told you I would never cheat on you. I don’t remember doing that I don’t even know who that is.” He protested.

            I was practically shaking I was overcome with so many emotions all at once. “I should have known…I should have known you would be like every other guy.” I stood up and untied Rocket’s leash. “I can’t believe you.”

            “’Lilah, please…” Sebastian stood up too and started to follow me. “Just listen to me. You can ask my friends who were there, I blacked out.”

            “So that’s any better?” I turned around to face him. “You just went out and got blackout drunk? Great!” I exclaimed sarcastically. “You got so wasted that you let another girl grind up on you. I’m glad to know that’s who you really are. I can’t believe I moved halfway across the country for you. I feel like such an idiot.” I kept walking.

            “I’m sorry, it was a mistake and I promise it won’t happen again.” Sebastian jogged a few steps to catch up with me. He grabbed my wrist to try to stop me.

            I jerked away from him. “Don’t touch me.” I hissed. “Just leave me alone right now,” I said and refused to look at him. “I can’t talk to you….you-you just broke my heart.”

            Sebastian decided to stop following me and let me storm away. I didn’t look back.


	8. Chapter 8

            Rocket lay on Sebastian’s bed as I furiously tried to pack all my things away. I didn’t stop when I heard the apartment door open. I had changed like I was going back to Michigan. I put my warm socks on, a sweater, and leggings. I was convinced I was going back to where I’d come from.

            “Delilah…”

            “I don’t even want to hear it, Sebastian.” I shook my head and refused to look at him.

            “Please, just look at me.” He walked up to my side and reached to touch my cheek.  

            I flinched away from him and dropped a few of my clothes. “I said don’t touch me.” I snapped and looked at him.

            He looked devastated and it made my chest tighten. “I’m sorry. Please, just don’t leave. We can talk through this.”

            “Why? Why should I give you another chance?” I demanded. “How can you prove to me that you’re not like every other guy I’ve dated?”

            “Look, I know that this situation right now is still new and maybe we rushed into it. But I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that we work through this. I know you, Delilah, and you know me.”

            “I thought I knew you…”     

            “You know me.” Sebastian walked up to me. “You know the real me. Please just sit and talk to me.” He held out a hand to me.

            I hesitated but realized I would be dumb to walk out without at least listening to his side. I took his hand and let him lead me to sit down on the bed.

            Rocket was quick to snuggle up with us.

            “I was an asshole last night,” Sebastian said. “I shouldn’t have just assumed you would go to the party with me and I shouldn’t have acted like a child when you said you didn’t want to go. It was my fault for not telling you about it beforehand. When you said you wanted to go home, I should’ve gone with you.”

            “You don’t have to just bail on plans because of me. I was fine with you going. I just didn’t think you were going to…” I sighed and rubbed my eyes.

            “Honestly, I don’t know why I drank so much. I just…I wanted you to be there and I felt like an idiot for just sending you home.” He explained and took both of my hands in his. “Please, let me make it up to you. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it.” He promised.

            “I don’t need you to spoil me, Sebastian. I just need you, to be honest.” I answered a looked into his eyes. He was genuine, I could tell for sure. I was pretty good at reading people and I knew a lot of liars in my past relationships. But Sebastian was different. He had already proved that to me.

            “I will be. I promise I will be upfront about everything.” He gently kissed the top of my hand.

            I smiled slightly. “You’re so hard to be mad at.” I protested.

            He chuckled and gave me a little wink. “Well, I want you to be happy, not angry with me.”

            I sighed and moved over to snuggle up to him.

            “I love you.” He said softly and kissed my forehead.

            “I love you too,” I replied. And I knew I meant it.

            “Let me take you out to dinner tonight.”

            “Okay.” I smiled and nodded.

            “Somewhere nice, I know you said you don’t need me to spoil you but I want to.”

            I sighed and shook my head. “You’re too much.” I sighed. “I just want to be with you, we don’t have to go anywhere special.”

            He ran a hand through my hair. “Alright, where should we go then?”

            “How about that Thai place? The food there is great.” I suggested.

            “Sure.” He smiled and kissed my cheek.

 

            The restaurant was small but crowded because of how popular it was. Sebastian and I snagged a spot by the window at a small table. We leaned over the table, almost touching foreheads, as we talked over the loud chatter in the room.

            Sebastian held my hands over the table as we waited for our food. “Alright, if you could pick anywhere to go right now, where would you go?” He asked.

            “Anywhere?”

            “Anywhere in the world.”

            “Well…I’d go right here,” I smirked. “Because you’re here, silly.”

            He laughed softly and shook his head. I felt the ends of his hair tickle my forehead. “Okay, wherever you go, I’ll be with you.” He corrected.

            “That sounds better…hm…” I bit my lip as I thought.

            “Anywhere in the world…”

            I giggled. “Okay, okay, don’t laugh, but I would go to Disney World.”

            “Disney World? Really?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Anywhere in the world and you’d go there?”

            “I’ve never been! Plus I’ve traveled to a lot of cool places before. But I’ve never been anywhere like Disney.”

            He tsked and leaned back in his chair to look at me. “I thought you’d be more adventurous.”

            “Don’t give me that look, I _am_ adventurous.” I couldn’t stop smiling. “Fine, where would you go?”

            “Probably somewhere really far away and super exciting.” He shrugged and smirked.

            “You have no idea, you’re just trying to sound cooler.” I accused.

            “Well, I’m pretty cool.”

            “You think you’re cool.”

            “Some people think I’m cool.”

            I giggled and leaned closer to him. “I think you’re cool sometimes,” I said and kissed the top of his hands.

            “Well, that’s a relief.” He smiled and I couldn’t break his gaze. I felt the worries of that morning just slip away. This was the man I fell in love with.

 

            Sebastian had started to film for _Infinity War._ He said he wouldn’t have to travel anywhere far in the next few weeks so it was pretty typical.

            He worked long hours though so I did everything I could to make his life a little easier when he was home. Most days, he was exhausted, bruised, and sporting a good headache.

            I usually made him dinner. He was on his Marvel hero ‘diet’. I made sure he wasn’t too banged up from filming and ran him a hot shower before bed.

            I wasn’t complaining at all. I had work to do during the day, normally we met up for lunch, and then at the end of the day, I took care of my boyfriend. I felt like I was doing everything a girlfriend would do.

 

            I started to worry one night when Sebastian came home with a nasty bruise on his shoulder. He said he hit the safety mat a little too hard during a fight scene.

            He could hardly lift his arm above shoulder height. So I had to do a little extra work and wash his hair when he showered.

            It wasn’t my first time seeing Sebastian naked, and I was certain it wouldn’t be my last if I were lucky of course.

            He groaned as he leaned back into me. “Am I getting too old for this?”

            “For doing a lot of your own stunts? Yes, but you won’t listen to me if I say so.” I replied and nudged his leg with my knee. “You’re too tall, kneel down.”

            Sebastian carefully lowered himself so I could wash his hair. He grumbled from the pressure on his knees. “I’m not that old though…”

            “But you’re not twenty.” I pointed out. “We don’t heal as fast.” I reminded him and gently massaged the shampoo into his hair. “You need to be careful.”

            “I am careful.” He sighed. “Or I try to be at least.”

            “Mhm, well, promise me you’ll know your limits?” I asked and held out a hand to help him up so he could rinse the shampoo out.

            “I promise.” He answered.

            I made sure all the lather was washed out and wrapped my arms around his waist. “You’re not really Bucky Barnes, you can’t fall off a building and just get back up.”      

            “I _am_ Bucky Barnes.” He grumbled but smiled slightly.

            “You’re a brat.”

            “But I’m your brat.” He grinned and leaned down to kiss me gently.

 

            The next morning, I was going to go visit the set to get lunch with Sebastian. I was wandering around a little bit because he hadn’t texted me back when I asked where he wanted to meet.

            My chest tightened in fear when two EMTs ran by me. My mind instantly went to Sebastian and I followed them.

            There were people crowded around the set and I tried to move through. “Is Sebastian here? Is he okay?” I asked. “I’m his girlfriend.

            “Delilah!” Chris Evans waved me over.

            I had met the actor a few times when I visited Sebastian. We got drinks together once too. I liked the man, mostly because of how nice he was and how he and Sebastian were like brothers.

            I ran across the road, which had been blocked off for the scene. My heart pounded when I saw a figure on the ground. Sebastian was just in regular clothing for the scene, not his typical Winter Soldier armor.

            “Alright, back off.” One of the EMTs waved everyone away.

            “Sebastian…” I dropped my bag, as I got closer. “What happened?”

            “I’m fine…” He brushed off the ambulance worker.

            “Dude, you hit your arm, we all heard a snap.” Anthony was knelt down next to him.

            “What?” I gasped and got down to help him sit up with Anthony’s help.

            “It didn’t break, you probably just heard something else,” Sebastian said stubbornly. He inhaled sharply as the EMT moved his arm slightly.

            “We’re getting it x-rayed,” I said without even giving him the opportunity to complain.

            “Del, I don’t need it x-rayed.” Sebastian protested.

            “Can you move your fingers?” The worker asked as he held Sebastian’s wrist stable.

            “Uh…” Sebastian winced as he tried. “No.”

            “Alright, hang on a minute. We’re going to get a sling so you don’t move it too much.”

            I sat on my feet so Sebastian could rest back against my knees. I gently stroked his hair, which was growing longer for Bucky.

            “Don’t tell me you told me so.” Sebastian looked up at me.

            “I won’t,” I promised and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “But I did.”

            Anthony snorted. “She did tell you to take it easy.” He agreed.

            “I could do it, I just fell the wrong way.” Sebastian sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “It’s not broken.”

 

            It was broken.

            Sebastian was in a full cast up to his shoulder and he was unhappy. They could shift around filming though so he could heal. But it didn’t matter; he was frustrated after the first day of having the cast.

            The morning after he broke it, Sebastian was in the kitchen trying to make himself coffee.

            I woke up to the sound of him swearing. I walked out with Rocket trailing after me. “Sebs?”

            He sighed and looked up at me. “Hey, sorry, did I wake you up?” He asked.

            “No, is everything okay?” I asked softly.

            Sebastian flapped his arm, which was still in the sling. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I knew it would only damage his self-esteem more. But he looked like a giant bird. I snorted slightly and he groaned.

            “Stop…”

            “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” I walked up to him and rubbed his shoulders gently. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

            “Put my arm back together and take this stupid thing off,” Sebastian said grumpily.

            “You know if I could, I would.” I murmured. “C’mon, can I give you a back rub or we can watch a movie…” I suggested hoping to get his mind off of his arm.

            “Mmf,” Sebastian mumbled and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

            “We could take Rocket out for a walk…”

            “God no, I don’t want people seeing me like this.”

            “Want me to decorate your cast? I can draw on it, make it cute.” I smiled.       

            Sebastian sighed. “Alright, fine.” He gave in.

            While we ate breakfast, I sat on his left side and started to draw out my plan from a reference picture on my phone. After a bit, Sebastian glanced over.

            “Almost done?” He asked.

            “Yep…okay, you can look now.” I held up my phone camera so he could see how it looked.

            He just laughed softly. “That’s awesome.” He said.

            “Think so?” I smiled proudly.

            “It makes it so much better.” Sebastian leaned over to kiss me softly.

 

            Later on, I took a picture of Sebastian he could post it on Instagram. I leaned over his shoulder as he wrote the description.

            _My perfect girlfriend made me into the Winter Soldier for real. I feel better about having this._

            The picture was of him doing his best Winter Soldier pose with his best Winter Soldier face as he showed off my artwork. I had done my best to draw the lines and the red star to make it look like Bucky’s arm. Since the cast was on the same arm, I figured it was fitting. Sebastian agreed and decided he was less miserable about the break.


	9. Chapter 9

            Six weeks later, and Sebastian got his cast off. But he wasn’t off the hook yet. Since it was a pretty bad break, he had to stick with some physical therapy before he returned to his usual work out routine and his stunts. I was insistent that he  _stop_ filming his own stunts but he used his same argument.

            ‘He wasn’t that old’

            ‘He wanted everything to be authentic’

            ‘It was fun’

 

            I made sure I visited set every so often so I could make sure Anthony and Chris were keeping him in line. They agreed that Sebastian should take it easy so they promised they would look after him.

            One afternoon, I decided to drop by. They were filming inside at the studios. I smiled at a few of the crewmembers I’d met over the weeks. The warehouse where they were filming was huge. It was holding a lot of green screens and constructed sets. I was still stunned at all the behind-the-scenes work even after the amount of time I’d been around it.

            “Hey there Delilah.” Anthony smiled.

            I rolled my eyes. He, along with the rest of the cast,  _always_ greeted me that way. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried tweeting the Plain White T’s?” I asked. “They made a joke out of my name.” I protested.

            “Aw, c’mon, it’s funny.” He chuckled. “Are you here for your boyfriend?”

            “Oh is Sebastian here?” I teased. “I was just here to stop by and hopefully catch a few glimpses of Chris’s pushups.”

            He laughed and shook his head. “That’s what we’re all here for.” He pointed across the set. “He’s over with Hayden.”

             _Hayden?_ I looked over and saw Sebastian standing with another woman. As I began to walk over, I noticed she had her hands on my boyfriend who was shirtless. I also realized she was unbelievably gorgeous. I gritted my teeth and did everything I could to walk calmly.

            Sebastian noticed me and smiled. “Hey, ‘Lilah.” He didn’t make any attempts to move away from the woman. She continued moving her hands across his shoulder blade.

          , “Hey.” I said. “I’m sorry, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Delilah, Sebastian’s girlfriend.”

            “Oh, hi.” She finally stopped touching him and went to shake my hand. “I’m Hayden. I’m Sebastian’s physical therapist.”

            My eyes flicked over to my boyfriend as I shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

            “Likewise. You’re guy got a pretty bad break, huh? I’m sure it was fun taking care of him.” She laughed.

            Sebastian smiled and shrugged sheepishly. “She puts up with me.” He reached to throw his shirt back on.

            “Hey, hey, careful. You’re overextending your shoulder again.” Hayden stopped him and moved his shoulder through the motion.

            I was not a jealous person by nature. But the sight of this perky, brunette, with a nice body in tight leggings, touching my boyfriend made me see red.

            “Thanks, Hayden, I’ll be careful.” Sebastian promised.

            She smiled brightly. “Great, I’m going to grab a drink. Do you guys want anything?” She asked.

            I pursed my lips and shook my head. “No, thank you.” I watched as she walked away. I hated how nice her butt looked. I hated how perfectly straight her hair was. I hated her.

            “I didn’t think you were coming around, it’s nice to see you.” Sebastian said gently and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

            I crossed my arms over my chest. “Is it?”

            He noticed I wasn’t happy. “Is something wrong? Was the kid a brat?”

            I had a job that morning with a senior getting her high school pictures done for the yearbook. “No, she was fine. You didn’t tell me your physical therapist was a woman.” I accused.

            He looked lost. “I didn’t think it would matter…”

            “It wouldn’t matter that she’s super pretty?”

            That’s when he seemed to understand what I was upset about. “Del…”

            “It’s fine, I know I’m probably just being overly protective.” I shook my head. “I just....” I didn’t want to admit how insecure I could get, especially when we were in LA. It seemed like every woman my age was a super model.

            “You have nothing to worry about. I told you I would never cheat on you and that wouldn’t ever change. Besides, I’m not Hayden’s type.”

            “Oh really?” I scoffed. “An athletic, attractive actor isn’t her type?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

            “Nope.” Sebastian pointed behind me.

            I turned and saw Hayden was visibly flirting with a makeup artist I’d met before.

            “She’s started dating Megan, so I’m not her type. You might be her type though, so maybe I should watch out for you two hanging out.” He gave me a cheeky smile.

            I sighed and nudged him. “Sorry…”

            “Delilah, I’ve told you time and time before that you’re beautiful. Why don’t you ever believe me?” He asked.

            “Because you’re supposed to tell me good things.” I replied with a shrug.

            He wrapped an arm around my waist. “Doesn’t mean I’m lying to you. I won’t say you’re so good at cooking because honestly…” He winced.

            “Hey!” I giggled. “I can make grilled cheese, doesn’t that count for something?”

            “Well…” He smiled and dipped me back gently to kiss me.

            “Hey there Delilah, what’s it like in New York City…”

            I opened my eyes to see Chris walking by. I groaned and pulled away from Sebastian. “It’s not funny anymore!” I yelled at him.


	10. Chapter 10

            For the holidays, Sebastian and I were going to New York to visit his family. I was excited to go but I had a lot on my mind too. There was something I wasn’t telling Sebastian and the guilt was eating at me every minute.

            Sebastian walked close to my side as we moved through the airport. It was getting tougher to go out together. Tabloids were getting more pictures of us and after a few public appearances at premieres and being on set, everyone knew we were together. People also started to recognize Rocket. It was easy to be subtle when it was just Sebs and me, but when Rocket was with us we just attracted attention everywhere we went.

            Sebastian wrapped an arm around me and politely declined pictures as we got to the taxi. He helped me in with Rocket and loaded our suitcases in the back.

            I was too caught up in my thoughts to really notice all the activity. I’d been getting used to it as well.

 

            We got to his parents’ house and I snapped out of my thoughts a bit. I was excited to meet Georgeta and Anthony. After some introductions and being hugged by Georgeta a million times, we went upstairs to our room for the weekend. I let Rocket rest on the bed as I unpacked my suitcase.

            Sebastian walked in and hugged me gently from behind. “You’ve been quiet.” He noticed.

            “I’m just tired.” I lied with a slight shrug.

            “You sure?” He could normally tell when I wasn’t being honest with him.

            I nodded and forced a smile.

            “Alright, well, if you want to talk just let me know.” He pecked my cheek and went back downstairs.

            I took a deep breath and tried to focus on unpacking.

 

            After dinner that night, we were sitting around in the living room by the fire. I had almost forgotten how cold it could get in the winter in other places. I’d gotten so accustomed to the LA heat.

            Georgeta finished showing me a photo album of Sebastian when he was little, despite his protesting. It was good to take my mind off of things as I cooed and laughed at how adorable his chubby cheeks were.

            Once we went through all the pictures, Georgeta offered to make tea. I figured it was my time to talk to Sebastian. If I didn’t do it now I would lose the nerve again.

            I leaned over. “Hey, I need to tell you something,” I said quietly.

            “Okay…what is it?”

            I bit my lip and stood up. I motioned for him to follow me into the next room. I wrapped my arms around myself and stood in front of him. I kept my eyes on the floor as I tried to work up the courage to spit out the words.

            “Del…what’s wrong?” Sebastian’s voice was full of worry as he tried to get me to look at him. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

            I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.” I blurted out.

            The room was completely silent. The only noise came from Georgeta in the kitchen. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at him.

            Sebastian looked utterly stunned. He was motionless and his eyes stared at me.

            My worst fears were coming true. He would be angry with me and leave. “Please say something,” I begged quietly.

            “I uh…” Sebastian’s mouth opened but he couldn’t seem to find the words.

            “I’m sorry…”

            “No, don’t apologize.” He said shakily. “I mean…we both did this. Fuck…I’m just…” He ran a hand through his hair and tried to breathe steadily.         

            My throat tightened and I truly thought this was the end of everything. I thought he would leave me and I would have to be a single mother. I felt nauseous at the thought. I didn’t know the first thing about children. I was almost certain I wouldn’t be able to raise a baby by myself. “I’m sorry, I know that it’s probably not what you wanted.”

            “Hey…” Sebastian reached for me. “It’s going to be okay.” He gently hugged me. “I’m happy, I’m just totally surprised.” He laughed softly. “I mean, of all the things you could tell me that really ranks on the unexpected list.”

            I felt a wave of relief as I hugged him back. “You’re not angry?”

            “Why would I be angry? It’s a shock but I’m not angry. I love you, Delilah.”

            “But we’re not even married,” I said. My mom had been pretty adamant that I would wait to have children until I was in a committed marriage.

            “Yeah, but we can get married in the future.” He replied and drew back a little to look at me. “We can raise a baby without being married.” He brushed my hair back. “We just have to focus on getting ready for a newborn now.”

            I swallowed and felt a wave of anxiety and excitement. “I don’t think I know how to be a mother,” I admitted.

            “I’m not sure I know how to be a father.” He smiled and kissed my forehead. “But I’ve played one on TV and in movies.” He teased.

            I laughed shakily and looked up at him. “You’re really okay with this?”

            “Honestly, my mom had given up hope of being a grandmother. So you’ll make her the happiest woman alive.” He said. “But we should get her something for a Christmas present to tell her.”

            I smiled and nodded. “I have a perfect idea.”

            He glanced down at my stomach and gently touched my abdomen. “Wow…I can’t believe it.” He said softly. “I mean, we’re going to be parents.”

            I bit my lip and tried to hold back tears. “I love you,” I whispered.

            “I love you too.” He beamed and pulled me in for a long kiss.

 

            Christmas Eve, Sebastian and I decided to tell his mother about the baby.

            “Mom, Delilah and I got you something to open tonight.” Sebastian handed her a small box.

            “Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything.” She protested.

            “Trust me, you’ve wanted it for a while.” He said and sat back next to me. He held me close as we watched on.

            Georgeta opened the box and smiled. “It’s beautiful.” She said as she held up the locket.

            “There’s something even better inside.” I prompted with a smile.

            She opened the locket and gasped as she read the small slip of paper inside. “Really?” She clasped her hands together.

            Sebastian nodded. “Yep, you’re going to be grandparents.”

            Anthony looked stunned. “Grandparents?” He laughed as his wife hugged him close.

            “This is so exciting.” Georgeta came to hug Sebastian and me next. “I’ll fix the guest room into a nursery. We can paint it. Do you know the gender?”

            “Not yet.” I shook my head. “I’m just eight weeks along.” I set a hand on my stomach and smiled at Sebastian. My worries before seemed so silly. I should have realized Sebastian was a loving man who just wanted to take care of me and our future child. I never felt so loved in my entire life.

 

 

            It was crowded in New York and I wasn’t particularly looking to walk through crowds especially because of how cold it was. So for the most part, I stayed inside by the fire. Sebastian and I talked about getting a place in New York so we were closer to his family. We still needed the place in Los Angeles though because of how much Sebastian worked there.

            “Here,” Sebastian helped me stand up and went to get my coat.

            “What?” I frowned, as I had to set my book aside.

            “You haven’t been properly introduced to New York Christmas.” He insisted and found my gloves and hat in the pocket of my jacket.

            “But it’s so cold,” I complained with a pout.

            “I’ll keep you warm.” He promised and helped get me all bundled up. “Besides, I need to give you your Christmas present.”

            “You already gave me my Christmas present.” I reminded him. He’d gotten me the book I was reading and some beautiful jewelry.  

            “Right, but those were presents I bought before I knew you were pregnant.” He pointed out and kissed my forehead, as he made sure I was warm.

            I smiled and felt a little wave of excitement. “Okay…”

            “But you have to come out with me.”

            “Fair enough.”

 

            We walked to the Rockefeller Center to see the massive Christmas tree and the ice-skating. I wanted to take a stab at skating but Sebastian had started to read up on how to keep me safe during the early stages of my pregnancy. The idea of me slipping and falling was enough for him to say no.

            It was really hard to get mad at him when he was so worried about the baby’s well being. It assured me that he would make a great father.

            We stood looking over the skating rink, Sebastian held me close to keep us both warm. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my face into his chest. I hardly even noticed the cold. All I could sense was the smell of his cologne, the steady beating of his heart against my skin, and the warmth radiating from him.

            “I love you.” He whispered softly and kissed my forehead.

            “I love you more,” I replied and looked up at him.

            “Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow. “How do you figure?”

            “Because I’ve got a little baby Stan growing in me and he or she loves you too. So it’s basically like I’ve got double the love.” I giggled.

            His eyes were shining as he gazed down at me. “This is everything I dreamed of when we were just writing to each other.”

            “Me too.” I murmured and there was no doubt.

            “Want your Christmas present now?” Sebastian asked.

            I nodded eagerly. “Of course.”

            He continued to hold me close as he reached into his pocket for a small, wrapped present. “My mom helped me.” He prefaced.

            I smiled and carefully unwrapped the gift. Maybe it was just hormones, but when I saw the small baby booties I burst into tears. I covered my mouth with my hand and laughed tearfully.

            Sebastian chuckled and took his glove off to wipe away my tears. “It’s okay.” He soothed.

            “It’s our first baby thing.” I sniffled and held the booties close to me. “I love them.”

           

            Later on that night, I was curled up on the couch with Sebastian. He had one hand on my baby bump and the other hand was carding through my hair.

            I was flipping through my phone when I got a notification from the news app. My filter for Sebastian was still on so I opened it.

            My eyes widened as I read the article. “Uh…did you tell anyone?” I asked as I showed him my phone. _Sebastian’s New Girlfriend, Pregnant?_

            “No…” He looked confused and scrolled through. “Oh…I see.” He pointed out the picture.

            There were a few pictures of us at Rockefeller. One was of me holding the baby booties. I sighed. “Well, I guess we would have to tell people anyways.”

            “I wanted to do it right though,” Sebastian grumbled.

            “Well, it’s only speculation. How did you want to do it?” I wondered.

            Sebastian wrinkled his nose. “I wanted to tell our friends first and then maybe we can announce it at _I, Tonya.”_ He suggested.

            I nodded. “Okay, we can do that.” I agreed.

            “We’ll leave after New Years.” He decided and kissed my cheek. “I can’t wait to tell everyone. I’m pretty sure they’ll be excited.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, Tonya came out in December so the timeline here is a little wonky


	11. Chapter 11

            The last night before we were supposed to go back to Los Angeles, we decided to go out one more time. Sebastian needed to get back for some promotions for  _I, Tonya._ I was excited for him and I wanted to be there to support him. I also couldn’t wait to spread the news about the pregnancy.

            Sebastian took my coat as we entered the restaurant. He wanted to treat me so we were at a high-end place. I smiled as he kissed my cheek. He was being ten times more affectionate than usual, especially in public. It wasn’t to say he didn’t pay attention to me in LA, but the pregnancy seemed to make him more touchy-feely. I couldn’t blame him; I was feeling the same way. Knowing we were going to be parents made me feel even more connected to him.

            The hostess walked us to our table and handed us menus. Sebastian made sure to pull out my chair.

            “I feel like you’re buttering me up for something.” I teased as he sat down across from me.

            He smiled and shook his head. “I’m not, don’t worry. I don’t need you to do anything but take care of our little one.” He said softly.

            I bit my lip and felt butterflies in my stomach. I knew it was too soon to feel any movement from the baby, but in a way, I felt like he or she was already responding to Sebastian. I’d been reading up a lot and I was so excited to know that the baby could react to hearing the father’s voice. I couldn’t wait to feel that. I gazed softly at Sebastian.

            “What’re you thinking?” Sebastian asked and took my hands in his.

            I smiled shyly. “The baby is the size of a raspberry.” I giggled.

            “Really?” His eyes lit up. “That’s tiny.”

            “I’m going in for an ultrasound when we get back. I know you’ll be busy…”

            “I’ll be there.” He said without hesitation.

            I wove my fingers in and out of his. “We might be able to see an ultrasound. But the baby might look sort of alienish.”

            He laughed. “Well, I’m sure we all looked like that in the womb so it’s okay.” He squeezed my hand gently.

            I went to say something but the waitress came up to our table. I immediately noticed she only seemed to have eyes for Sebastian.

            “Hi, I’m Vivian, I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Can I start you off with a drink?”

            I’d learned my lesson about getting jealous too quickly. So I did my best to ignore her flirty look. “I’m good with just water,” I said. I’d never been a big drinker before so I didn’t mind having to go alcohol-free for the pregnancy.

            “I am too.”

            “Okay, I’ll give you a minute to look at the menu then.” She touched Sebastian’s shoulder before walking away.

            I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from saying anything. “I told my mom,” I said.

            “Oh, yeah?” He nodded. “What did she say…”

            Vivian returned moments later with an extra menu. “Just in case you change your mind, here’s the wine menu.” She said and flashed Sebastian a smile.

            “Thanks.” He hardly glanced up at her.

            I noticed as she purposefully brushed her fingers against his. I cleared my throat loudly and looked up at her.

            She matched my gaze but turned away before I could send her a silent warning.

            Sebastian let go of one my hands to look through the menu. “So was she excited?” He didn’t seem to notice that the waitress was making passes at him at all.

            “Doesn’t she realize we’re together?” I mumbled.

            “What?”

            “The waitress,” I explained. “She keeps trying to touch you.”

            He looked a little amused. “I’m on a date with you…”

            “I know but she doesn’t seem to really care.” I made sure to keep his hand in mine even though he was making no attempt to pull away.

            “I didn’t even notice.”

            “Really?”

            “Well, I sort of have the beautiful, mother of my child in front of me.” Sebastian raised an eyebrow with a small smirk. “And I would be a dumbass if I gave any other woman the time of day.”

            I relaxed a little. There was no reason to be jealous; I knew he would stay faithful to me. “You’re silly.” I scolded playfully.

            “Well, I’m utterly and completely lovesick over you. So maybe that’s a side effect.” He raised my hand to kiss it. “Another side effect is being totally blind to other women.”

            My cheeks went a little pink and I leaned closer to him over the table. “Well, I feel the exact same way.” I murmured.

            He smiled and reached over to kiss me. There was nothing more I could be jealous of. I knew that Sebastian was mine and I was his.

 

            The next morning, Sebastian and I were in JFK Airport to fly home. He managed to talk me out of carrying my own luggage because of the baby, so I was walking beside him with just my purse.

            “Are you hungry?” He asked after we got through security.

            I passed by a bagel shop and got a whiff of something that made my stomach turn over. It wasn’t anything unusual, maybe some cream cheese, but for some reason I instantly got nauseous. I stopped and looked for the closest bathroom. I found a unisex one and made a dash for it.

            “Del?” Sebastian tried to follow me through the crowds.

            I barely made it before I got sick. I heard Sebastian come in and he took my purse. He pulled my hair back and gently rubbed my back. “I’ve got you.” He soothed.

            I felt so disgusting as I straightened up and went to rinse out my mouth. I groaned as I saw how pale and sick I looked.

            “How do you feel?” He asked sympathetically. He stood behind me in the mirror.

            “Gross.” I pouted and tried to fix my hair to look a little more presentable.

            “My mom warned me about morning sickness.” He said. “I’m sorry.”

            “Don’t apologize for it. It’s natural, I guess.” I sighed and turned around. “We should go, I don’t want us to miss our flight.”

            “Take it slow.” He opened the door and gathered up the luggage again, keeping my purse as well. I knew what he would say if I told him I could hold it again. “We don’t need to rush, we have plenty of time.”

            I glanced over at him and finally smiled. I walked closer to him. I realized how comfortable I felt with him after all we’d been through in such a short amount of time. I knew I could be open with him and he’d still be there to catch me. It felt good knowing I had someone by my side.


	12. Chapter 12

            I squinted my eyes a little as I was hit with the intensity of the lights on the red carpet. As always, Sebastian was close to my side.

            “You’re literally glowing.” He murmured gently in my ear.

            I blushed and felt a tingle of excitement. I knew tonight was the night we were telling the world about our baby. Sebastian seemed just as thrilled. He was smiling the entire day.

            “You don’t think it’s all those floodlights?” I teased. I hardly even paid attention to the photographers. I was in my own little world with Sebastian.

            “Nope, it’s because you’re so beautiful.” He replied and slyly traced his fingertips up my spine.

            I shivered slightly and nudged him. “Keep your hands to yourself, Stan.” I scolded playfully. “We’re in public.”

            He groaned. “I wish we were home now…”

            “You’re insatiable sometimes.” I giggled but I couldn’t help but wish the same thing.

            “Seb.” His agent waved us over.

            Sebastian took my hand and walked over to the small group of people. He gently squeezed my hand a few times as if to say he loved me.

            We were met with a reporter in front of a camera. “Patrick from E! News.” The young man introduced himself.

            “Nice to meet you.” Sebastian shook his hand and I smiled.

            “This movie is an amazing story, very controversial. Sebastian, you do great job acting, and you’re really making your way in Hollywood.”

            He smiled. “Thanks, man, yeah I’ve gotten a lot of great opportunities. I’ve worked with a lot of great people too. Working with Margot was awesome, she’s an amazing actress.”

            Patrick nodded and I noticed he kept glancing back over at me. I didn’t think of it much at first though.

            Then Sebastian noticed. He tensed up slightly and decided to wrap his arm around my waist as he chatted with the reporter for a little bit.

            “So, Delilah, we’ve seen you out with Sebastian a lot lately.” Patrick turned his full attention to me.

            “Well, since we’re dating I would hope so.” I laughed and looked up at Sebastian. “Yeah, we were just in Manhattan for the holidays. It was nice to spend time with his family.”

            “Nice, nice.” He nodded but didn’t seem to really be listening to what I was saying. “You’re a lucky guy, Sebastian.” He said. “Watch out, I might try to steal her from you.” He chuckled but it was obvious he wasn’t whole-heartedly joking.

            Sebastian wasn’t laughing. “Well, luckily that’s not going to happen.” He said. “We’re really happy to announce that she’s expecting.”

            “Really?” Patrick looked surprised. “I haven’t heard that yet.”

            “Well, you’re the first to know.” Sebastian forced a smile. “Congrats.”

            I bit my lip to keep from smiling too much. But I was actually curious to see how Sebastian would act when he got jealous.

            “You’re adorable when you get all worked up like that,” I said when we started to walk away from the interview.

            He just made a face. “Asshole kept looking at you like I wasn’t even there.”

            “Well, now you know how I feel when girls do the same thing to you,” I said with a small shrug. “But now people know.” I pointed out.

            He smiled and nodded. “I’m so glad I get to tell everyone.” He said. “It’s better than winning any kind of award.”

            “Sebastian, can we get a few more pictures?”

            “Here.” Sebastian wrapped an arm around my waist and I stood by his side for the cameras. After a moment, he moved his hand so it was resting on my abdomen.

            I bit my lip and felt a swell of joy as he touched the baby bump. It made me even more desperate to meet our baby and to have our own little family. It was just so obvious that we had more than enough love to give.

           

            The next morning, I woke up sprawled across the bed with Sebastian. I started to get some memories back from the night before and felt my whole body start to warm up. It was no surprise that Sebastian was experienced behind closed doors. But once we got back from the premiere, it was like he’d been repressing all sexual thoughts for years. I decided that the jealousy he experienced made him ten times more protective of me, and that translated into being a little more dominant. I was not complaining and filed away that information for later.

            Sebastian was still out cold so I decided to let him sleep a little longer. I tried not to let my gaze linger on his form. I knew if I did, I wouldn’t get out of bed.

            I slipped out from under the sheets and slipped on one of Sebastian’s shirts. Then, I started to pick up the aftermath of a clothing hurricane. It didn’t help that he was wearing a complicated suit that was impossible to get off. He wasn’t the only one in the frenzied state of mind so I had to result to popping a few buttons off his shirt to get to him sooner.

            I stifled a giggle as I collected the stray buttons off the floor. I didn’t realize I was strong enough to rip buttons off of a designer suit shirt.

            I found my dress and checked the zipper to make sure it wasn’t ripped too. I had only borrowed it so I didn’t want to return it damaged. Thankfully, Sebastian had been a little more careful than I had. The dress itself wasn’t too complicated. I found my underwear and that was a different story. I sighed when I found the torn lace. It was one of my favorite pairs but I couldn’t be angry with him.

            “Fuck me…you’re such a sight to see in the morning.” Sebastian stirred and I saw his heavy eyes looking at me.

            I gave him a cheeky look. “I already did last night, Mr. Stan, remember when I said you were insatiable?”

            He chuckled and reached his arms out to me. “Why’d you get up so soon?”

            “Because if I stayed in your arms I would get nothing done today.”

            “Is that so bad?” He stuck out his lower lip a little.

            I sighed and glanced at the door. I knew Rocket would be sleeping right against it on the other side. He was always disgruntled if we kicked him out when we had sex. “I have someone who will cuddle with you all day,” I smirked and opened the door.

            Instantly, Rocket bolted into the room and launched himself onto the bed in one swoop. He attacked Sebastian with slobbery kisses, his tail wagging a million miles an hour.

            Sebastian laughed and scratched Rocket’s ears. “I see you, I know. I’m sorry we neglected you.”

            I giggled and continued to clean up the mess we made. “Here, I’ll sew these back on.” I set the shirt buttons down on the nightstand.

            “Damn, I thought I was just imagining that last night.” He grinned. “I think I’ll keep them as a trophy, actually.”

            I rolled my eyes and went to put the dress back in the dress bag it came in. “You can keep my panties as a trophy too because you destroyed them.” I accused, pretending to be upset.

            “Hey, they were in the way.” He shrugged. “I’ll buy you more.”

            “More for you to rip to shreds?” I walked back over to the bed and nudged Rocket aside so I could straddle Sebastian’s hips.

            “Well…” He rested his hands on my waist. He smirked as he looked up at me.

            “Cocky.” I mimicked his face and placed my hands on his chest.

            “Mhm…” He trailed his fingers over to my stomach, pushing the shirt up. “God, I love waking up every morning and remembering that I’ll be a father.” He whispered.

            I watched him and felt my heart beat a little faster. “You’ll be the best dad.” I murmured.

            He smiled sheepishly. “I’ll try my best. I don’t want to put my work ahead of you two though.” He said. “I’ve been thinking and maybe I should take a break.”

            “Sebs…”

            “I’ll do anything to be there for you both.” He vowed genuinely.

            “Sebastian, you don’t have to give up your job or your dreams,” I said and softly carded my fingers through his mussed up hair. “That’s not what being a parent is. I trust that you’ll be there for us even when you’re working. I’ll need some help in the beginning but we’ll find our balance. I’m not going to give up photography because I’m going to be a mother so you shouldn’t give up acting either.”

            He smiled and leaned up to kiss my bump and then rose to kiss me. “You’re not real, you can’t be.” He teased.

            “Oh, I’m real alright, Stan.” I giggled and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You of all people should know that.” I pecked his lips one more time and pulled away to get my phone off the dresser. I turned it back on and scrolled through my notifications. I heard Sebastian get up behind me and head to the bathroom.

            “Anything about that jackass who was hitting on you in front of me?” He asked from the next room.

            I smiled when I saw a news update. “Yes,” I answered and opened the article.

            Sebastian walked back into the bedroom and came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and rested his chin on my shoulder to see my phone screen.

            “ _Sebastian and Delilah confirm they are expecting a baby.”_ I read off proudly.

            “It’s official.”

            I twisted around a little to kiss him again. “Mhm, it’s official.”


	13. Chapter 13

            The months passed and I was more and more excited to hold my baby. I had a doting boyfriend who was the perfect father candidate and I had several thousands of his fans waiting on in anticipation.

            Once I started to really show, the anticipation got greater. I was proud to show off the bump, even if I was a little disgruntled by some of the side effects. Thankfully, my morning sickness didn’t last too long.

            Sebastian hardly went more than ten minutes without placing a hand on my stomach or affectionately kissing the bump. He was sure I was well taken care of and was even more protective the more time passed. He was fiercely strict about having a wide berth around you as far as paparazzi went. It became well known that he would get upset if photographers crowded you. The last thing he wanted was for you to get stressed out.

            I found a few articles about Sebastian being the most caring father-to-be and I made sure to save them because I agreed completely.

           

            One morning, when I was around five months along, I woke up feeling soft feathery touches on my stomach. I smiled because I knew exactly who it was. I stirred and arched my back.

            “Sebs…” I purred as I opened my eyes.

            “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” He murmured and leaned up to kiss me.

            I hummed softly against his lips and placed my hand over his. “I love you,” I whispered.

            “I love you too.” He smiled. “We have an ultrasound today.” He reminded me even though he’d been so excited about it for days.

            “Mhm, we get to see our little monkey.”

            ‘Monkey…” He snorted and shook his head. “I don’t know why you call our baby that.”

            “It’s cute.” I shrugged.

            “You’re cute.” He started to tickle me mercilessly.

            I squealed and tried to grab his arms. “Sebs!” I squirmed.

            There was a loud bark, and Rocket got up from the end of the bed and snapped at Sebastian’s hands.

            “Whoa, sorry bud.” Sebastian stopped and held his hands up.

            “Rock, he’s not hurting me.” I rubbed his ears gently. Rocket made a grumbly noise in his throat and rested his chin on my stomach. He eyed Sebastian suspiciously and made sure he didn’t touch me.

            Sebastian chuckled. “And I thought I was protective.”

            “Oh, take a picture of him.” I cooed and stroked Rocket’s head lovingly. “You just want to make sure the baby is okay, don’t you?”

            Sebastian smiled and obliged. “I’ll make breakfast, want anything special?”

            “No, granola and yogurt are fine for me,” I said and got up, nudging Rocket away. I stretched and rose to get dressed.

           

            After breakfast, Sebastian and I had to get going to the doctor’s office. Sebastian took my hand. “Do you think I could put the ultrasound on my Instagram?” He wondered shyly. “I’m just so excited and kind of want to show it off. I have to send it immediately to Chris and Anthony.”

            I smiled and nodded. “Of course,” I said softly.

            He squeezed my hand and opened the door into the office for me.

            There wasn’t a wait so we were brought back into the room. I had to take off my leggings and handed them over to Sebastian. I got up on the table and rested the sheet over my lap.

            Sebastian sat next to me in one of the plastic chairs and folded my leggings, setting them next to my purse. He took my hand again and kissed my palm.

            “I can’t wait to see them,” I whispered and bit my lip.

            “Neither can I.”

            My doctor came in and smiled. “Hi, Delilah.” She said. “Sebastian, it’s nice to see you both again. Ready to see how much your baby has grown?” She sat down and grabbed a bottle of the ultrasound gel.

            “Of course.” I looked up eagerly at the screen.

            “Alright, let’s see.” She moved the wand around on my stomach for a bit before getting a view of the baby. “There we go. There’s a hand. The taste buds are developing now.”

            I watched in awe and held onto Sebastian’s hand tightly.

            “And now they're in the right spot so I can tell the gender if you want to know.” She began to capture pictures of the ultrasound to give to us.

            I looked at Sebastian and we shared a nod of agreement. “We want to know.”

 

            I groaned as I stepped out of the car. “Sebs…” I complained.

            “Are you feeling sick?” He asked and wrapped an arm around my waist.

            “No, I shouldn’t have worn these heels.” I sighed and hoped I didn’t look like a beached whale with the evening gown on. It just barely fit me after it seemed like my bump had grown more overnight.

            “I can carry them for you. Did you bring another pair?” He asked, briefly ignoring the photographers.

            “No.” I winced. “I thought they’d be okay.” We lingered by the entrance to the red carpet as I did my best to bend down to fix the heels. “My feet are so swollen. It’s disgusting.”

            “Here,” Sebastian knelt down, lifting the hem of my dress to help me step out of the shoes. “Are you okay, going barefoot?”

            “Yeah, it feels better.” I sighed. “Sorry.”

            “It’s fine, I’ll just be your Prince Charming, carrying around your shoes all night.” He teased and began to walk.

            We spotted Chris and Anthony as they waved us over. They were both doing an interview together. “These guys are the best. They’re going to have the cutest baby.” Chris said and patted Sebastian on the back.

            “Yeah, and I’m going to be the godfather,” Anthony said.

            “In your dreams, Mackie.” The two argued about it for a bit.

            I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “They always argue about this.”

            The reporter smiled. “Sebastian, you posted a picture of the ultrasound today.”

            He nodded. “We had an appointment today and we found out we’re having a boy.” He announced.

            Anthony and Chris stopped bickering. “Really?” Anthony asked.

            I giggled. “Yep, a mini Stan is on his way. We’re halfway there.” I looked up lovingly at Sebastian.

 

            Time passed and I was absolutely certain I would spend the rest of my life with Sebastian. It was strange knowing that just a year ago; I didn’t know what I would do with my life. Now I had a clear plan and couldn’t wait to spend every day with him.

            I was nearly eight months pregnant when I went to pick up Sebastian from his last trip before the baby was born. He was already hesitant to leave me in case the baby was born early, but I assured him that I wouldn’t go into labor while he was gone.

            I walked into the airport and sat down in the baggage claim to wait for his plane to land. I yawned as I idly looked through my phone. After a little bit, Sebastian texted me that he was coming down. I smiled and stood up to greet him. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a few people glancing my way. I saw cameras around their necks and I sighed. I decided not to let them bother me and waited anxiously for Sebastian.

            He walked through the crowd and his face instantly lit up when he saw me. He rushed over to hug me as close as he could with my stomach in the way. Without a word, he kissed me deeply. It was more than enough to show how much he missed me.

            I giggled softly and pulled away from him so we didn’t make a scene in the middle of the airport. “I missed you too.” I murmured and ran a hand through his hair.

            “How’s our son?” He touched my stomach.

            “Kicking up a storm.” I glanced down. “He’s been keeping me up.”

            Sebastian chuckled. “C’mon, buddy, you can’t keep momma up like that.” He whispered. He grinned when he felt a small nudge against his hand. “I’ll never get over how awesome that is.”

            “Okay, then next time you can be the pregnant one.” I teased. “Because it’s not as fun as you think it is.” I took his hand and we started to make our way outside.

            The group of people I noticed before, started to take pictures.

            “Delilah, is that an engagement ring?”

            “Are you two planning on tying the knot before the baby comes?”

            “Are you only having one baby, or is it twins?”

            I wrinkled my nose and tried to ignore them. I hoped it didn’t look like I was carrying twins. I was wearing a ring on my ring finger but it was my right hand and it was just a little promise ring from Sebastian a few months earlier.

            Sebastian ushered me into a taxi and kept the paparazzi at bay. He got in behind me and shut the door. He told the address to the driver and wrapped an arm around me.

            I looked at my ring and lost myself in thought for a moment. He seemed to notice.

            “I’m sorry…”

            I glanced up. “For what?” I asked.

            “I mean, I should have proposed to you sooner.” He explained guiltily.

            “Sebastian…”

            “I mean, I don’t want people to assume I’m not committed to you. I am and I do want to marry you.” He continued.

            “We already talked about this, it’s okay if we’re not married when the baby comes.” I reminded him.

            “I know but,” He sighed and ruffled his hair. “I don’t want to seem like I’m going to duck out on you.”

            “I know you never would. I don’t care what those people think. I know you’re committed to our baby boy.” I said and kissed his cheek. “That’s all that matters to me.”


	14. Chapter 14

            Almost nine months in and I was about ready to pop. My due date was approaching quickly and Sebastian was reluctant to leave me alone. He was worried that I would go into labor and he’d be elsewhere. But he was still due to be filming and I wouldn’t let him put it on hold.

            So he was at the studio when my water broke. I hardly even noticed until I felt the back of my jeans were soaked. It took me a few moments to actually realize what had happened. I stared at Rocket as if he could tell me I was about to have a baby.

            “Hello?”         

            “Hey, are you still on set?”

            “Yeah, I’ll be another hour, want me to pick up dinner?”

            “Sure, yeah. Uh…make that extra though.”

            “What?”

            “Get dinner for one more too.”

            “Are you expecting company?”

            “Yeah, in a few hours. Maybe six hours…”

            “What? It’s already seven o’clock, who’s coming in six hours?”

            “Surprise!”

            “Delilah, you’re not making any sense, what is going on?”

            “Uh, so remember like nine months ago we had sex and then…”

            “Wait, are you talking about the baby?”

            “Yeah.”

            “The baby? As in the baby is coming? You’re going into labor?”

            “I think so.”

            “Delilah!” Sebastian sounded just as stunned as I felt. “You’ve been rambling for like ten minutes why didn’t you just tell me when I picked up the phone?”

            “I don’t know! I don’t really know what’s going on, I’m really freaking out!” I started to panic.

            “Okay, okay, okay, don’t freak out. Just breathe, uh, I’ll grab a cab. Should we call an ambulance?” I heard him start to grab a few things.

            “I don’t know! I’ve never had a baby before!”

            “Fuck, okay, okay, okay.” He said a few words to someone on the other side of the line. “I’m having Chris pick you up, he’s in the area. He’s going to drive you to the hospital and I’ll be there when you get there.” He said.

            “Chris?”

            “Yes, just grab your things for the hospital and go downstairs. Try not to panic. I’ll see you soon.” He hung up.

            I grabbed my pre-packed bag for the hospital and looked at Rocket. “Okay, uh, you stay here. I’ll be back with a baby, okay?” I winced as I felt a contraction hit me. I walked carefully down to the sidewalk and saw Chris pull up a few minutes later.

            “Are you okay?” Chris rushed out of the car and grabbed the bag from me.

            “Uh, I think so. I’m having a baby though.” I said as if he didn’t know already.

            “C’mon, Sebastian’s on his way to the hospital.” He helped me into the car and started driving to the hospital. Thankfully, we didn’t get caught up in too much LA traffic and made it to the hospital in one piece.

            I waddled with Chris to the maternity ward where Sebastian was already pacing. He jumped to help me into a wheelchair.

            “You’re already checked in, c’mon.” He walked beside me as a nurse brought me into a room.

           

            An hour later, and Sebastian and I had calmed down a bit. It was still a shock that we were going to meet our son that night, but we were more prepared than we initially were.

            “Alright, so we’re at the hospital, Delilah’s having contractions, we’re just waiting now.” Sebastian turned the camera to me. I smiled when I saw Georgeta and Anthony.

            “Hi,” I waved. “Your grandson is on his way!”

            Georgeta was nearly in tears. “Oh, Delilah, we can’t wait to meet him.” She gushed. “Sebastian, please send us pictures the second he is born.”

            “I will, mom.” He promised. “I’ve got to go, I’ll keep you updated.” He hung up the facetime call and sat back down. “Chris said there are already people wondering if the baby is coming.” He said.

            “It’s because you rushed off set.” I reminded him. “You probably weren’t very subtle about it.”

            “Well, you were very subtle about your water breaking.” He grinned and kissed my hand.

            “I didn’t want to give you a heart attack by just saying ‘hey the baby’s coming!’. I was trying to be clever.” I pouted.

            Sebastian chuckled. “Well, have you thought of any names yet?” He wondered.

            “I haven’t decided yet. I will when I see him.” I said and rubbed my stomach. I sighed softly and winced as I felt another contraction. “They’re getting closer together.”

            “It’s only a matter of time.”

 

            Midnight rolled around and the baby was starting to crown. I gripped onto Sebastian’s arm as I went through the motions of pushing and breathing. It helped to have him coaching me through it, knowing he was there made it easier.

            “One last push, Delilah.” The doctor instructed and I heard our baby start to cry as he breathed in the air for the first time.

            “Mr. Stan, you can cut the umbilical cord.” The doctor clamped the cord and Sebastian cut. His hands were shaking terribly and he had tears running down his face.

            I was breathing steadily as I reached out to take him into my arms. He was still a little sticky but I didn’t care. I held my son close to my chest and cried. I couldn’t compare the feeling to anything I’d experienced before. It was thrilling and comforting. But it was powerful and I couldn’t imagine ever letting go of him.

            “Luca…” I whispered as I saw his face for the first time.

 

            After Luca was cleaned up and swaddled, Sebastian and I just sat on the bed staring at him. It was like he was the rarest thing on the planet and we couldn’t look away. To us, he was.

            Sebastian held him close and wrapped an arm around me. “He’s absolutely perfect.” He murmured for the fifth time. He kissed my temple again and hugged me close. “You’ve given me such a gift.”

            I smiled tiredly and reached over. I let Luca take my finger in his tiny hand and squeeze it gently. “I love you both so much,” I whispered. “My two loves.”

            Luca opened his gray eyes and looked up at Sebastian. He yawned contently and squirmed a little in his swaddle.

            Sebastian had to wipe his eyes again; he seemed utterly amazed by every movement Luca made. “You’ve made me the happiest man alive.” He kissed my cheek and then kissed Luca’s forehead.

           

            I fell asleep for a bit and woke up to Sebastian talking softly to our son.

            “You’ve been alive for a whole day!” He whispered. “What do you think so far? Do you like it? Do you love your momma?”

            I opened my eyes and looked over at him. I smiled and winced slightly as I sat up. I was still a little sore after the delivery.

            Sebastian looked over at me. “Did I wake you up?”

            “No, it’s fine. I missed him.” I laughed and reached for him.

            He stood up and sat down on the hospital bed with me. He propped Luca up so I could see him.

            “Hi, my love,” I whispered and rubbed my thumb over his little cheek. Luca opened his eyes and moved his hand out of the swaddle.

            “It’s so crazy having him.” Sebastian couldn’t pull his eyes away from him. “He seems too perfect to be real.” He chuckled. “I can’t wait for everyone to meet him.”

            “They’re going to be so jealous of our little angel.” I cooed.

            Luca wriggled around and his face scrunched up as he began to cry.

            “Aw, baby, it’s okay.” I scooped him up out of Sebastian’s arms and held him close to my chest to try to soothe him. It was heartbreaking to hear him cry. He hiccupped softly and started to settle a little bit as I rubbed his back.

            “He just wanted to be with his mom.” Sebastian smiled warmly and gently brushed back Luca’s hair.

            “It looks like he’s going to have his daddy’s hair.” I giggled. “He’s going to be such a charmer.”

            Luca yawned and a little smile formed on his face.

            Sebastian and I watched with pure love in our eyes. “He’s perfect.” I murmured and kissed his forehead.

            “Hey…uh Luca, what do you think about having a little wedding when you get a little older?”

            I glanced over at him. “What?”

            He reached into his pocket. “I wanted to give you a better proposal but it feels perfect being here with you and our little man.” He opened a small ring box.

            “Sebs…” I couldn’t help but let my tears start to form in my eyes. I was so overwhelmed with how happy I was, I couldn’t stop crying.

            Sebastian winced a little. “Are you crying because you’re…”

            “I’m happy,” I assured him. “I’m so happy, I love you so much.” I reached over with my free hand to kiss him deeply.

 

            I reached into the back seat to unbuckle Luca from his car seat. We were bringing our son home for the first time and I was so excited. It would just be Sebastian, Luca, and me for a few weeks. Of course, family and friends would be in and out visiting but we were now our own little family.

            Sebastian locked his car and wrapped an arm around me as we walked up to the apartment.

            “Here we are.” I cooed as I walked in. “Luca’s first day home.”

            “My mom wants another hundred pictures.” He chuckled as we settled in.

            “Well, I don’t blame her, he’s just so darn cute.” I giggled and yawned.

            “Do you want to take a nap?” Sebastian asked as I sat down on the couch. “I’ll watch him for a bit. “I’m sure he’ll just be sleeping.”

            “You’re heaven sent.” I let him take Luca from my arms. I lay down and he used his free hand to drape a blanket over me. “I love you.” I yawned again and closed my eyes.

            After about an hour, I woke up and found Sebastian asleep with Luca sleeping as well in his arms. I smiled warmly and grabbed my phone to take a picture. I stood up and went to take Luca from his arms.

            Sebastian jolted a little bit. “W-what?” He opened his eyes and looked around.

            “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.”

            “I tried staying awake but it was such a long night waiting for this kid.” He stretched and chuckled.

            “He was worth it.” I nuzzled Luca’s cheek. He opened his eyes and moved his hand to grab my hair.

            “Chris is coming around soon if that’s okay. Anthony’s coming Saturday. My parents are flying out next week. We’re going to have to start booking appointments for him.” He laughed.

            “He’s going to be more popular than his daddy very soon,” I said and scrolled through my phone to show Sebastian the picture I took.

            He smiled and looked proud. “Can I post that?” He asked. “I think people want to know that you’re both okay.”

            I nodded. “Of course. He can make his debut in the world.”


	15. Chapter 15

            “Hey, buddy.”

            I smiled as Sebastian gently handed Luca over to Chris. “He’s been waiting his entire life to meet you.” I teased. “ _The_ Captain America.”

            Chris chuckled and made sure he was supporting Luca’s head. “Everyone’s so excited to meet you.” He said softly. “You’ve got a huge family of actors who all want to meet you.”

            I sat down and tucked my feet under me. “Good, Uncle Chris will babysit whenever mom and dad need a break.”

            “Yep, Mackie and I will be the babysitting team.” Chris grinned.

            Luca yawned and opened his eyes to look at him. He stretched and blinked a few times.

            “So, he just kind of sleeps a lot, right?” Chris asked.

            “Yeah, he eats and sleeps.” Sebastian smiled. “But he’s still amazing.”

            I rested against my fiancée’s shoulder. He kissed my hair and wrapped an arm around me.

            “What does Rocket think about him?” Chris asked.

            I glanced over at our dog who was watching us from his bed in the corner. “I think he’s afraid of him,” I said.

            “Really?”

            “We looked up how to introduce them,” Sebastian nodded. “But Rocket just sniffed him and shied away when he moved. I think Luca’s a little too loud small for him to comprehend.”

            Rocket stood up, almost like he knew we were talking about him. He cuddled up with me and I stroked his ears.            

            “I know, you’ll always be my baby too,” I promised. “But in time, you and Luca will be best friends.”

            The Great Dane just looked up at me, resting his chin on my lap.

 

            That night, Luca woke up crying. I wanted to get up but felt Sebastian move to get up. “I’ve got him.” He touched my shoulder before walking to the nursery.

            “Thank you,” I mumbled and closed my eyes again. After a while, Luca was still wailing. I knew that there were some bottles in the fridge, so I wondered why he was so upset. I decided to get up and try to steady myself as I staggered a little bit from being exhausted. I walked into the next room and found Sebastian doing his best to calm our son.

            “What’s wrong, baby?” I yawned.

            Sebastian let me take Luca from his arms. “I tried a bottle but he didn’t seem to want it.”

            I rested him on my shoulder and rubbed his back. “It’s okay, maybe he’s just getting used to life and it’s strange.”

            Luca whimpered quietly as he started to soothe himself back to sleep.

            “There we go,” I whispered and rested him back in his crib.

            “Rest easy, bud.” Sebastian softly touched his little hand before following me back to bed.

            I lay down and cuddled up to Sebastian. I looked up at him and noticed something was off. “Are you okay?” I asked.

            “Yeah, I’m fine.” He sighed and held me close. “I just don’t feel like…”

            “Like…”

            “Like I’m not good enough. I mean, you just came in and he calmed down within seconds. Maybe I’m doing everything wrong.” He looked visibly burdened by the thoughts he was having. I wanted to do everything I could to ease his doubts.

            “Sebastian, you know that’s not true at all.” I touched his cheek.

            He didn’t look at me and shook his head. “I didn’t have my dad when I was younger…and I mean, my mom married Anthony but still.” He closed his eyes. “How the hell am I supposed to know how to be a good father when I didn’t have much of a role model?”

            “Look at me,” I instructed firmly.

            He wearily opened his eyes and listened. “You don’t need to lie to me.”

            “I don’t lie to you.” I held his gaze. “Sebastian Stan, you’re a good man,” I whispered. “It doesn’t matter about your past, it matters who you are now. Parenting is all instinctual right? It’s been literally two days. He’s only forty-eight hours old. We’ve only been parents for forty-eight hours.”

            This made him smile a little. “It feels longer.”

            “I know, but it’s true.” I smiled and combed my fingers through his hair. “And as far as I can tell, you’re an amazing father. Now if you were holding him upside down by his feet and something like that, then we’d have a problem.”

            He shook his head. “I’d never…”

            “I know you wouldn’t. And that’s why you’re going to be perfect as a father.” I kissed his forehead.

            “I love you.” He sighed in relief. “I love you so much.”

            “I love you too.” I murmured and rested my cheek on his chest. “Let’s get some sleep, we’re going to need it.”

 

            Six months later, Sebastian had to be in Spain for a photo shoot. I figured it would be a fun little adventure to tag along with Luca. The airplane ride was surprisingly uneventful. Luca spit up on me but that was the least of my worries.

            I was excited to see Sebastian in action. I’d photographed him a bunch of times, but I’d never seen him at an official shoot. It was pretty high caliber too, hence the location.

            “Doesn’t daddy look handsome?” I smiled as Sebastian walked up to us on the beach. I was sitting on a blanket with Luca in my arms.

            The little boy squealed when he saw him. He reached out his arms, begging to be picked up.

            “Hi, buddy.” Sebastian scooped Luca up and blew a raspberry on his cheek.

            Luca squirmed and laughed. “Da-da-da-da!” He babbled.

            “I think you should do a little Hugo Boss, father-son photo shoot instead,” I suggested.

            Sebastian struck a dramatic pose with Luca. “How about that?”

            I laughed and shook my head. “You two are goofballs.” I stood up to tickle Luca.

            “Sebastian?” The director of the shoot called him over.

            “Alright, I’ll be back. It’s going to be a long day.” He sighed and handed Luca back to me.

            “Put on your best bedroom eyes.” I kissed his cheek and smirked. “You need to help them sell.”

            Sebastian flashed me a grin and walked over to the docks where they were setting up.

            “Dada.”

            “I know, love, he’s working.” I sat back down and held Luca so he could see Sebastian from where we were sitting.

            “Are you going to follow dada’s footsteps? I’m sure you’re going to be just as handsome as he is.” I smoothed his hair back. I had predicted it correctly; his hair was already looking exactly like Sebastian’s.

            Luca cooed and stuck his fingers in his mouth. He rambled on more gibberish as if to answer me.

            I giggled softly and kissed his cheek. I looked up and watched a little of the photo shoot. It was strangely surreal but familiar. I loved it.


	16. Chapter 16

            I sighed in relief as I sank into the bath. I yawned and leaned back. We were back from Spain and Sebastian was putting Luca down for the night. I was still feeling jet lagged so I decided to take a bath to relax for the night. I closed my eyes and felt my body enveloped by the hot water.

            There was a soft knock on the bathroom door. I opened my eyes and glanced over. “Yeah?”

            Sebastian walked in and groaned. “Fuck, that looks so relaxing.” He looked just as tired as I felt. Luca had been a bit more of a hassle on the flight back. He decided he didn’t like airplanes anymore and got hysterical for almost a full hour before crying himself to sleep.

            I laughed softly. “You can come in if you want.” I shrugged and leaned forward to let him.

            He smiled and started to pull off his shirt. “Thanks for the invitation.” He chuckled and got settled in the bathtub behind me.

            I rested back against his chest and giggled. “You barely fit,” I said as I saw his legs were almost over the edge of the tub.

            “Hey, I work out.” Sebastian teased and carefully pulled my hair back so he could kiss my neck softly.

            I hummed softly and wove my fingers in with his. He rested our hands on my stomach and I cringed. “Don’t look at my stretch marks.” I covered my stomach up with the bath bubbles.

            “What?” Sebastian tilted my chin over so I would look at him. “Delilah, you’re beautiful, what are you talking about?”

            “They’re gross.” I made a face.

            “No, they’re not,” Sebastian argued. “They’re just reminders of how you carried our son for so long. They’re like battle scars.” He tickled my sides.

            I squirmed and tried to bat his hands away. It was hard to keep a pout on my face. “You’re just saying that because you have to.”

            “Well, I don’t _have_ to. I’m saying it because it’s the truth.” He corrected and rested his hands on my hips.

            “Mhm.” I didn’t believe him and just decided to lean back against him again and close my eyes. I felt him place soft kisses on my cheek, neck, collarbone, and shoulder as he trailed his fingers up and down my stomach and thighs. “Did Luca fall asleep easily?” I asked after a bit of quiet.

            “Yeah, I read him a bit of that book Anthony gave us and he was out like a light.”

            I smiled as I recalled the little book about animals and the noises they make. I’d read the book with Sebastian to Luca a few times and we both took turns making the noises to amuse Luca. He especially liked Sebastian’s lion roar.

            “What about Rocket?” Normally, the Great Dane would be scratching at the bathroom door to get in. But everything seemed abnormally quiet.

            “He fell asleep next to the crib before I left.” Sebastian smiled. “I figured it would wake up soon and come into our room.”

            “He loves Luca, I’m not sure we’re even on his mind anymore.” I opened my eyes and looked up at him.

            He chuckled. “No kidding.”

            I was about to close my eyes again but loud barking startled me. I sat up and looked at the bathroom door. Rocket hardly ever barked, let alone around Luca. I groaned and got out of the tub. “He’s going to wake him up.” I dried off a little and threw on my clothes. “Rocket…” I hissed as I walked down the hallway.

            The dog was in the nursery, standing at the crib. He was barking and howling nonstop.

            “Rocket, shush!” I scolded. “You’re going to wake him up!” I reached into the crib and felt my chest tighten in fear.

            Luca was gasping for air, his face was turning red, and his eyes were rolling back.

            “Oh my God…Se-Sebastian!” I screamed. I lay Luca on the rug and opened up his sleeper to see why he wasn’t breathing. I grabbed my phone and dialed 911.

            Sebastian rushed into the nursery. He froze at the doorway when he saw what was happening. “No, no, no, no.” He knelt down.

            I told the 911 operator what was happening and I put the phone on speaker so Sebastian could hear the instructions for giving Luca CPR. I felt like my world was being destroyed and I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up or pass out. I did my best to hold on and tell the operator where we were. Sebastian was calmer than I was, doing everything he could to get Luca to breathe again.

            I heard a soft cough and Luca inhaled weakly. “That’s it, c’mon, buddy.” Sebastian coaxed. “Keep breathing.”

            It felt like hours before the ambulance arrived but it had only been five minutes. Sebastian had to physically hold me up as we followed the EMTs into the ambulance, with Luca on a stretcher. I did my best to stay calm so they could work, but it was too much to see my baby in that state.

            Once we arrived at the hospital, Sebastian and I had to stay outside of the room. He held me close as I sank to the floor. I felt like I had failed as a mother already. Something I’d done had caused Luca to stop breathing. I didn’t deserve to be a mother.

            “Sh, it’s okay.” Sebastian tried to comfort me but I could feel him shaking. Neither of us was prepared to lose our only child. We were so scared but we had to hope for the best.

 

            A little under an hour after we were brought to the hospital, we could finally see Luca. He whined softly as we walked in. I immediately broke down when I saw him. His fragile body was covered in tubes so he could breathe normally.

            “Sh, it’s okay baby.” I tried to keep it together as I gathered him up in my arms as best I could. I kissed his forehead and relaxed a little when I heard his usual babbling and breathing. He was alive and that was all that mattered to me.

            Sebastian sat on the hospital bed next to me and let Luca grab onto his hand. “Dad’s here.” He assured him. “Everything’s going to be just fine, okay bud?”

            I knew he was trying to keep up a calm front too. I knew it was probably scary enough for our son to be in the hospital. Seeing his parents hysterical wouldn’t help anything.

            “Momma and dada are going to stay right here until we can go home.” I soothed and brushed back his hair. “So you just sleep a little and before you know it we’ll be back home.”

            Luca whimpered but began to close his eyes and settled into my arms. Sebastian wrapped an arm around me and kissed my temple.

 

            Luca was sent home that morning. The doctor said he most likely suffered a seizure and stopped breathing. He said it was lucky Rocket had alerted us or else Luca most likely would’ve died. He assured us it was unlikely it would happen again since he hadn’t shown signs of being prone to seizures before.

            But that night, I couldn’t leave the nursery. Sebastian reminded me that we had the baby monitor in our bedroom, but I didn’t trust anything but my own eyes.

            “Babe…” Sebastian shuffled into the doorway of the nursery.

            I glanced up at him. “Yeah?”

            “It’s almost midnight, are you coming to bed?” He rubbed his eyes and I could tell the lack of sleep the night before was really catching up to him. I didn’t feel too tired. I was afraid that if I even closed my eyes for more than a second I’d fall asleep and Luca would stop breathing again.

            “No,” I answered quietly and tucked my knees up under my chin. I had made a little nest of blankets and pillows on the floor directly in front of Luca’s crib. Rocket was curled up next to me and he too had his eyes locked on the crib. It was as if he was on the exact same page as I was.

            “You can’t just sit here all night watching him, Del,” Sebastian said gently.

            “Yes, I can,” I replied stubbornly.

            “Okay, but what about tomorrow night? You can’t stay up for the rest of your life watching him.” He walked into the room and knelt down in front of me.

            I felt tears in my eyes. “I’m not going to lose him. I will not…I can’t.” I sniffled. The night and day’s events had taken a toll on my emotions. I couldn’t hide them anymore.

            “I know, but we’re not going to lose him.” Sebastian scooped me up in his arms. “The hospital wouldn’t have cleared him to come home if he wasn’t healthy. I promise that tomorrow morning we’re all going to wake up and everything’s going to be okay. Luca will be perfectly fine and he will be the next night and the night after that.”

            “But what if he isn’t?” I sobbed quietly. “What if we’re not paying attention and something happens?”

            “Nothing will happen. Last night was a scare but he’s okay. Even Rocket’s keeping an eye on him, right? He’s not going to let anything happen just like we aren’t. He’s safe with us, I promise.” He rubbed my back as I cried. “C’mon, you need to sleep. It’s not healthy for you.”

            “I’m so scared.” I clung to him tightly, too afraid to face the world outside of his embrace.

            “I am too. Del, I’m terrified. Last night was my worst nightmare and I never want to go through it again. And I promise we won’t. We know what to do if something happens and we’ll handle it.” Sebastian brushed my hair back and looked at me. “C’mon, let’s put his bassinette in our room for tonight.” He helped me stand up.

            I nodded and went to pick up Luca who was still fast asleep. Sebastian brought the bassinette in from the den and set it right next to my side of the bed. I got Luca settled again and lay down with Sebastian. Rocket curled up by our feet, still watching Luca.

            Sebastian held me close, pulling me back to his chest. “Do you remember the first night we spent together?” He whispered.

            “In San Diego? When we first met?”

            “Yeah, you came up to my hotel room and we kissed. Then we had room service for dinner. You were sitting on the bed and I was sitting on that little couch. That was the first time I realized I had the girl of my dreams right in front of me. Six years of writing back and forth and getting to know you…getting to fall in love with you. Then I just had you right there. I thought I was dreaming. There was no way you could be real. Maybe you were someone different or maybe I was just imagining all the letters we sent. But it was real. And then, that night…I asked if you wanted to get a different hotel room.”

            “You said you would get me a suite,” I remembered with a smile.

            He chuckled. “Well, I wanted to make sure you were comfortable. But then you said you wanted to stay there with me. You just…went into the bathroom, changed into your pajamas, walked out and got into the bed.”

            “You were standing there like I was crazy.”

            “I had a gorgeous woman in my bed, I was a little taken aback.” Sebastian teased and kissed my cheek. “But I got my act together. And you just said goodnight and cuddled right up against me. I held you for the first time and I realized this was the moment…this was when my life changed for the better. You fell asleep and I knew that I’d be spending the rest of my life with you. You were the woman I wanted to fall more in love with…the woman I wanted to take care of, the woman I wanted to see every morning and every night. You were the one I wanted to hold when you cried. I knew that life wouldn’t be perfect for us. But I was going to get us through every obstacle we faced I still will. We’re only going to get stronger, Delilah, I promise.”

            I swallowed and turned around to look in his eyes. “Please don’t ever go anywhere I can’t follow.” My voice broke.

            “I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” He promised and held me close to him. “I’m right here.”


	17. Chapter 17

            Raising Luca was possibly the best thing I’d ever been a part of. I remembered how worried I used to be about having him but they concerns seemed so silly. Every day seemed like a new adventure with him. I had hundreds of videos of Luca’s ‘first’s.

            Luca’s first time running around the grocery store. He was fourteen months and was supposed to be holding onto the cart as we shopped but he was a reckless soul. The video was full of Sebastian having to abandon the shopping cart to chase down the giggling toddler. He grabbed things off the shelf and Sebastian didn’t have the heart to tell him to put them back.

            Luca’s first time to the zoo. He was two and rode on Sebastian’s shoulders, pointing out all the animals he knew by name.

            Luca’s first steps. The video made me cry almost every time. He was nine months old and Sebastian had been encouraging him to walk every moment of the day. He held out his arms as Luca got himself up on his feet and toddled the few steps to Sebastian before falling into his arms. The look on my fiancée’s face was priceless. He seemed so proud and couldn’t stop praising our son.

            Luca’s first swim. He was eight months and we took him to a friend’s pool to beat the L.A. heat. Sebastian held him close to his chest in the shallow end. At first Luca was uneasy, but eventually, he learned to love it. Sebastian spun him around in the water, holding him steady as he splashed his feet.

 

            One of my favorite moments was Luca’s first birthday. Georgeta and Anthony were flying in for the occasion and nearly everyone Sebastian ever worked with on a movie was invited. He was more than happy to show off his little man. We held it at a friend’s house, someone who had enough space to fit the guests. It was a pretty laidback affair. Everyone was socializing outside while the kids ran around the yard. Luca was still being passed around from person to person. Everyone fussed over how cute he was, his dimples, and his Sebastianesque hair. Luca ate up the attention and I was starting to guess he would follow in his father’s footsteps. I could see him being an actor easily even though I was keen to keep him away from the spotlight as much as I could. I wanted him to be a child for as long as he could.

            Elizabeth Olsen sat down next to me with Scarlett. I smiled and accepted a glass of lemonade from Elizabeth.

            “Rose Johansson stay out of the flowers!” Scarlett scolded. She rolled her eyes as her little girl giggled mischievously and went to chase some of the children. “She’s nonstop.”

            “Luca is getting to be like that too. He never wants to go to bed and always wants to get up at the crack of dawn.” I laughed softly. “Poor Sebastian, Luca always wants him to stay up with him or get up when he does. Dad always has to be with him, they are inseparable.”

            “That’s so sweet.” Elizabeth cooed. “I love seeing his Instagram posts. They’re so adorable.”

            “Luckily, Rocket will entertain him for an hour or so sometimes in the morning. As long as Rocket can get some of his breakfast.” I sighed and shook my head. “They’re going to be partners in crime.”

            “How are things with Sebastian and you?” Scarlett asked.

            “Good, we’re just going day by day,” I answered. “The apartment is getting a little cramped. Sebastian suggested we move back to New York, just outside of the city. That way we’re closer to his parents and they can babysit. They’re missing out on a lot with Luca and we don’t think it’s fair.”

            “That’ll be nice. You can have a nice house in the suburbs, it’ll be quieter.” Elizabeth agreed.

            “Yeah, I think so.” I smiled when I noticed Sebastian across the lawn with Luca. He scooped him up in his arms and lightly tossed him up in the air to make Luca laugh.

            “What about the wedding?” Elizabeth wondered.

            “Oh, we haven’t had much time to think about it.” I shrugged. “Sebastian says he feels guilty but honestly, it doesn’t bother me. I mean it’s just a legal document, right? I figure one day we’ll have a little ceremony, but nothing huge.”

            Scarlett nodded. “I mean if you two are comfortable with how things are, there’s no reason to fuss about one day. You should make it how you want it to be. Something small and quiet would be perfect, I think.” She agreed.

            “Yeah, I…ow.” I winced as I felt a sharp pain in my stomach.

            “Are you okay?” They both looked concerned.

            “I’m fine, I’ve just been having bad cramps lately. It’s weird because it’s not like I’m on my period or anything.” I shrugged and tried to ignore the pain.

            “Maybe you should go to the doctor,” Elizabeth said gently.

            “Have you missed your period?” Scarlett wondered.

            “I mean…” I tried counting in my head. “I’ve been on birth control but there have been mornings where I just forget to take it.”

            Scarlett winced. “Yeah, Lizzie’s right, you should get to the doctor soon.”

            “No, I can’t be pregnant.” I shook my head. “Sebs and I haven’t had time to…” I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach when I remembered the last time we had sex. Chris was able to watch Luca so Sebastian and I had a date night. It _had_ been a few weeks since we’d been alone so we took advantage of the situation. “Fuck…” I whispered.

            “Uh oh, is Luca going to have an Irish twin?” Scarlett teased.

            I rolled my eyes and smirked. “I mean it wouldn’t be the worst thing but…” I sighed. “I don’t have enough hands to take care of two toddlers.”

            “Well, get tested and see,” Elizabeth said. “There’s no reason to get worried without knowing.”

            “Right and…Rose!” Scarlett groaned and jumped up to get her daughter from popping a balloon.

            “Great, this wasn’t really how I expected this day to go.” I looked over at Sebastian and Luca. “I should go call my doctor.”

 

            A few nights later, Sebastian came back from Luca’s room. “And the monkey is asleep.” He stripped down to his boxers and threw on a pair of sweatpants. “I only had to read four books.”

            I smiled nervously and looked up from my phone. “That’s good, it’s better than the record of seven.”

            He laughed and got under the covers next to me. He kissed my cheek and wrapped his arms around me. He slyly pulled my phone out of my hands so my attention was on him.

            I giggled softly and took his cheeks in my hands. “What’re you playing?”

            “Well, I just thought I looked really attractive to you tonight. I’ve got circles under my eyes, I haven’t shaved in a few mornings, and I’ve got a bite mark on my hand from our son.” He tried to sound as sexy as possible.

            “Mhm, I love a man with teething marks on him.” I purred and broke out laughing. “You’re just desperate.”

            “It has been a while.” Sebastian moved his hands down my waist and kissed at my throat.

            “Hm…well, I need to tell you something,” I said as I ran my fingers through his hair.

            “Yeah?”

            “I’m pregnant again…” I winced and bit my lip.

            Sebastian stopped kissing me. “Wait…really?” He looked up at me in shock.

            I smiled shyly and nodded. “Yeah, I just got the results back.”

            He didn’t smile, he just looked surprised. “Wow, uh…I was not expecting that.” He sat up.

            “Neither was I but I mean it’s not the worst thing.” I was entirely convinced he would be okay with the news. I remembered how silly it was to be afraid of how he would react when I was pregnant with Luca.

            “Well…’Del we kind of already have our hands full.” He looked like he was still processing what I said.

            I swallowed and started to feel a shift in the air. “Right but, by the time the baby is born, Luca will be almost two.” I pointed out. “We can take care of two, right?”

            “But we were going to move across the country to get a bigger place.” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair.

            “Right, so we’ll have more space before he or she is born.” I pointed out.

            “Delilah, I thought you were on birth control.” His voice was a little accusing and I was taken aback.

            “I-I am but I might’ve missed one around the time we had sex,” I said. At that point, I was surprised at his behavior. He made a frustrated noise and got out of the bed to start pacing. “Sebastian, it’s okay.”

            “We just had Luca, he just turned one.” He said as if I didn’t know.

            “Did you only want one kid?” I realized we never had the conversation of having a bigger family. I wasn’t even sure how many kids I wanted but I knew I wouldn’t be against having another child.

            “I didn’t say that. But I didn’t necessarily want them so close in age. I mean…” He rubbed his eyes.

            “I’m sorry…” I looked down and felt ashamed of myself. “I didn’t think you’d get like this.”

            “Well, how did you think I would react? I thought we were being careful.”

            “I thought you’d be happy. You were thrilled to have Luca!” I pointed out. “Now suddenly you’re against having another baby? _I_ was the one who was trying to be careful. It’s not like you were doing anything to prevent this.” I threw back an accusation of my own.

            “Because you told me you were on birth control!” Sebastian started to get more and more upset.

            I was matching his energy because of how vulnerable I felt. “Why is it my responsibility if you never told me you didn’t want another kid?” I demanded.

            “You never asked.”

            “So everything is just put on me now? Everything is my fault?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “How is that fair?”

            “Don’t act like I haven’t done everything I possibly could to support you and Luca.” He replied harshly. “I’ve stretched myself thin to keep working, to take care of Luca like I’m supposed to, and to take care of you too.”

            “I don’t need you to take care of me.” I spat. “I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

            “I’ve been supporting you for almost four years, Delilah.” He snapped sharply. He never looked at me directly.

            I threw the covers aside and got in his face. “I don’t _need_ you to do anything for me. I’ve lived on my own before and I could do it again. I don’t owe you anything. I said I would pay for half of everything but _you_ always refused. _You_ said you wanted to treat me like a princess. But don’t even start to pretend like I’m some worthless girl who needs you!” I stood tall so I didn’t seem weak. I was not weak.

            Sebastian finally looked at me and I saw the pain in his eyes. “I didn’t say that…”

            “Yes, you did. You just said that you’ve been supporting me like I needed you to. I don’t need you to do anything for me, Sebastian. I moved halfway across the country for you. I gave you my heart and I gave you our little boy. I was there for you every single second you need me.”

            “I know.”

            “Then don’t act like you’re this god who’s done everything for me and that little boy.”

            “Delilah, I can’t take care of two kids. I’m barely doing enough for one.” He seemed to get weaker under my glare. His angry demeanor was starting to crack.

            “How many times have I said you were the best father a child could ask for? How many times have our friends praised you and even complete strangers? They see the kind of man you are. You’re the only one who doubts yourself.”

            “Don’t tell me what I’m capable of, Delilah.” His face went stony. “If I tell you I’m not ready for another kid then you can’t discount that.”

            “Well, I’m pregnant, so what am I supposed to do?”

            He pinched the bridge of his nose wearily and shook his head. “I can’t talk about this right now.”

            “We need to, Sebastian, this is real, it’s happening.”

            “I can’t do this tonight, we’ll talk about this tomorrow when I get back from the studio.”

            “Sebastian, you can’t ignore this!”

            “I said not tonight, Delilah.” He lashed out and turned away from me. “I’m going to sleep on the couch.” He grumbled and left the room.

            My lower lip quivered and I felt like every worst-case scenario had just happened. I sat on the edge of the bed and burst into tears.


	18. Chapter 18

            Sebastian slept on the couch for a few days. If he didn’t do it voluntarily, we would usually argue and I would exile him from the bed. Arguments surrounded the pregnancy but they evolved. Suddenly everything we did wasn’t good enough for each other. Sebastian went out too much. I kept forgetting things. Sebastian was coddling Luca too much. I wasn’t giving Luca enough attention. Sebastian was distant. I was trying too hard to fix things. We were at each other’s throats every moment we spent together. So we spent less time together so Luca wouldn’t see us fight.

            It was wearing me down. I didn’t sleep, I hardly ate, and I cried every morning and every night. I’d never been in such a low point of my life. I leafed through letters we sent to each other. When I was still just a photographer from Michigan and he was still Ian. I cried over the words he wrote to me, describing the perfect life we would have together once I moved to California. And for a while, that was true. I never expected things to turn so badly.

            The first night Sebastian slept in our bed again made everything worse. He held me close for the first time in a while. The motion alone made me want to cry but then I inhaled and smelled a perfume on his neck. I tensed up in his arms.

            “What’d you do today?” I whispered.

            “I had an interview with someone.” He answered. The adoration in his voice was faded. I didn’t feel the same warmth from his chest.

            “I can tell,” I mumbled and hugged my arms to my chest.

            “What do you mean?”

            I shook my head. “Nothing,” I mumbled. “What time do you want to go that event Saturday night? Scarlett suggested a babysitter and she’s free until ten.”

            He sighed. “I forgot about it. I won’t be able to go.”

            I twisted around. “Sebastian, we said we would go.” I reminded him sternly.

            “I double booked, I’m sorry.” He didn’t seem to want to fight. We’d spent so many hours arguing I knew we were both too tired.

            I shook my head and lay back down. “Forget it. I don’t know why I count on you anymore.” I mumbled and closed my eyes.

            Sebastian withdrew his arms and I heard him turn his back to me.

 

            The next morning, I took Luca out for a little jog. That morning, after talking to Sebastian, I took off my ring. It was feeling too heavy on my hand.

            “Here we go. Hang on, momma’s going to go fast.” I cooed to Luca. The little boy kicked his feet happily against the jogging stroller. I took a short route that I knew well. As I ran, I noticed a few people eyeing me as I passed. Then I noticed someone with a camera. I was not in the mood so I turned right around so they couldn’t get any pictures of Luca. I sighed and stopped. I picked Luca up out of the stroller and held him close to me to hide his face.

            “Mama.” Luca grabbed onto my ponytail.

            “I love you.” I smiled weakly and headed back home. I was sick of L.A.

 

 

            _Sebs: I’m in traffic; I won’t be able to make it to the appointment._

           

            I swallowed back my tears and tried to get the bad taste out of my mouth.

            The door to the room opened and the same doctor who delivered Luca popped her head in. “Want to wait a little longer, Delilah?” She asked.            

            I shook my head. “No, he’s not coming,” I said quietly and stuffed my phone into my purse. “I shouldn’t be surprised.”

            I sat outside of the office building with the ultrasound picture of my second child. I burst into tears by myself.

 

            When I got home, Sebastian was there. I was beyond done with him. “Glad traffic eased up,” I said through my teeth and slapped the ultrasound picture down onto the kitchen counter in front of him. “It’s a girl.” I kept walking and went into the nursery to check on Luca, shutting the door behind me.

 

 

            Chris helped me out of the car and smiled. “Thanks for coming with me. I know Sebastian said he was busy so since we were both going alone it might be fun to spend some time together.”

            “Yeah, it’ll be fun.” I forced a smile but I was still so torn up about everything that had been happening in my life. We stood and smiled for a few pictures and continued to walk back to the bar where most of the guests were mingling.

            “So, where is Sebastian?” Chris asked as we found a table to sit at.

            I shrugged. “Photo-shoot, I think. We didn’t talk much about it.”

            He gave me a confused look. “Are you two okay?” He asked. “I mean, it’s none of my business but it feels like things are kind of off between you and him.”

            “I guess you could say that.” I sighed and dropped the happy act. “I don’t want to bore you with all the details. But thanks for actually being concerned.”

            “Are you pregnant again?” Chris asked casually.

            I was totally shocked. “How in the world did you figure that out?”

            He smiled and shrugged. “There’s been some speculation. And you’re upset but you’re not drinking alcohol.” He pointed out.

            “I wish I could,” I grumbled. “We got into a huge argument and ever since then it’s been horrible,” I admitted. “He’s missed every ultrasound and won’t even talk about the pregnancy. We fight about every little thing and I just…I don’t do anything but cry.” I shook my head and felt the all too familiar sting in my eyes.

            “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up something so bad.” Chris reached over and touched my shoulder.

            “No, it’s fine. I haven’t talked to anyone about it so it feels good to open up.” I said honestly.

            “Well, I’m always here if you need to talk.” He offered with a genuine smile. “But I’m sorry you’re going through a rough patch.”

            I nodded and dabbed my eyes so I didn’t smudge my liner or mascara. “Well, I appreciate that. At least I have someone there for me.”

 

            Chris dropped me back off at our apartment. I didn’t realize we were walking straight into another fight. I opened the door and found Sebastian in the kitchen.

            “Hey man.” Chris greeted.

            He glanced up and glared. “You two have fun?”

            “Yeah, it was nice to talk,” I said and sat down to take my heels off.

            “Look like you two got really close.” Sebastian placed his phone down on the table and I could vaguely make out the dress I was wearing in a picture. They must’ve been pictures from the event, already put online.

            “Sebastian, it wasn’t like that,” Chris assured him.

            “He actually listened to me, isn’t that a weird concept?” I snapped. Chris gave me a look like he didn’t want to be placed in the middle of this but it was too late.

            Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest. “Awesome, so are you moving on? Because you’re walking around without your ring, you’re spending time with Chris. Do you need to tell me something, because I’m waiting?”

            “Oh, give me a break, Sebastian.” I rolled my eyes. “If I wanted to leave you I would’ve packed up and left. Do you think I like fighting with you every minute of the day? Don’t you think I miss the person I fell in love with?”

            “I am the person you fell in love with, at least I thought I was.”

            I stood up. “I thought you were too until I got pregnant again and you flipped a switch.”

            “Hey, guys maybe we should just take a break…” Chris tried to calm us down.

            “I didn’t change, you did.” Sebastian ignored him.

            “I did? Oh so because I got pregnant, I changed. Let me tell you a secret, Sebastian, it takes two people to get pregnant.”

            “Here we go again, it’s my fault. _Everything_ is my fault!” He raised his voice.

            “Well, you act like everything is my fault!”

            “Hey, guys, Luca is probably sleeping.” Chris tried to come between us.

            “You’re right, we shouldn’t be having another baby. Because you don’t give a shit about anything. You used me and when you grew tired of me, you threw me away and moved onto some other girl.”

            “Some other girl?” Sebastian demanded. “Are you saying I cheated on you?”

            “Well, you came home with someone else’s perfume on you so yeah!”

            “Delilah, I told you from the beginning, I would never cheat on you.”

            “You also told me you would always love me!” I began to cry.

            “I’ve done everything for you! Don’t you see that?” He demanded.

            “Stop, just stop it.” Chris separated us. “Take a breath and stop yelling.” He said firmly and held Sebastian away from me.

            “I’m done…I can’t…I can’t do this anymore.” I sobbed breathlessly and felt a sharp pain in my back.

            “Alright, just try to breathe,” Chris said gently.

            “Ow…ow…ow.” I winced and my legs went weak.

            “Del, what’s wrong?” Sebastian moved past Chris and helped me sit down.

            “Oh, now you care?” I spat but I couldn’t push him away. I let out a whimper and felt something tearing in my abdomen. “The baby…”

            Sebastian jumped up and rushed to grab his keys. “Chris, look after Luca, can you bring him to the hospital? I’m going to bring her to the emergency room.” He scooped me up. “It’s okay, just breathe.”

           

 

            “Mr. Stan, you can come in if you want.” The doctor said and sat down next to the hospital bed.

            Sebastian walked in. He looked sick with worry. He stood by my side and took my hand.

            “I’m very sorry, but unfortunately, Delilah, you’ve lost the baby.”

            My throat tightened and I felt like the world was ending around me. “No…no that’s not possible.” I choked out.

            “I’m sorry, but please know it’s not your fault. You were taking very good care of her. Sometimes things just go wrong and it’s beyond our control. There wasn’t anything you could’ve done.” She said gently and touched my hand. “Now you need to try to heal physically and emotionally. I know it’ll be hard but I know you’ll be able to come through this.”

            I felt too exhausted to make any sounds. Tears just streamed down my cheeks as I tried to realize that I wasn’t carrying my daughter anymore. Fate just snatched her right out of my arms. I never even got the chance to hold her.

            “Mr. Stan, if I could talk to you in the hall?” The doctor asked.

            He nodded and kissed my forehead before leaving.

            I swallowed and didn’t even make an effort to wipe my eyes. I felt like I’d lost everything, including Sebastian.

 

            A few hours later, Sebastian came back in with a change of clothes for me. “Do you need anything else? I can grab you another water.” He offered.

            I shook my head and sniffled. “I’m fine.”

            Sebastian sat down and reached for my hand. “I’m sorry.” He whispered.

            I looked at his eyes for the first time in a while. He looked like he’d been crying. “This isn’t your fault,” I said dully.

            He shook his head. “Yeah…it is. I put you through so much fucking stress and…” His voice cracked and he ran a hand over his face. “I should’ve been happy. I was happy but I felt overwhelmed. I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for you and Luca so the thought of having another newborn was so scary. I thought I wouldn’t be enough for all three of you.” He slowly broke down again in front of me. “Please, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I’m sorry.” He held my hand tightly and bowed his head.

            I bit my lip and felt all the anger and sorrow I’d felt come back up again. But I wasn’t mad at him. I was mad at the things I couldn’t control. Neither of us could control what happened. “Sh, it’s okay,” I whispered and combed my fingers through his hair. “Sebastian, please….” I hated seeing him cry even though he’d made me cry so much. I pulled him close into my arms.

            “I love you. Delilah, I was such an idiot. I-I wanted her. I wanted to hold her and to raise her. And I didn’t even tell you that. I didn’t go to the appointments. I was the worst father ever. Now she’s gone.” He cried.

            My lower lip quivered and I tried to hold onto him as tightly as I could. “I kn-know. I-I wanted her so badly t-too.” I sobbed. “But we weren’t m-meant to have her.” I believed that Sebastian wanted her. I knew deep down he was happy to have another child. But after the fight, everything spiraled out of control and both of us were too stubborn to apologize.

           

            We held onto each other for a long time. A while later, Chris arrived with Luca and it was like the sun opened up again.

            “Go ahead, bud. Go show mom what you got her.” Chris prompted softly.

            “Mama.” Luca toddled into the hospital room and held up a teddy bear to me.

            I tried not to cry in front of him. “Oh…thank you baby,” I said shakily and took the bear from him.

            “Mama better?” Luca tilted his head to the side.

            “I’m going to be just fine, baby,” I said softly.

            Sebastian scooped him up and kissed his hair. “We’re all going to be okay.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the constant updates. I'm trying to catch up my tumblr and ao3 to my other writing sites. Bear with me. I'm on chapter 33 so I want to get this ao3 version caught up as soon as possible so I don't make any mistakes.

            Getting back to normal wasn’t easy. Sebastian and I still had our issues but we were actively working through them, instead of ignoring them. I cried a lot, more than before even. But I had a sense of hope that things were going to look up.

 

            I walked into the nursery and scooped up Luca who was going on fourteen months.

            “Dada.” Luca pointed over my shoulder. Usually, Sebastian woke up earlier than I did. But I hadn't been sleeping very well since the miscarriage. It was better to just get up instead of staying in bed staring at the ceiling. 

            “He’s in the kitchen, let’s go see him,” I said softly and placed him on my hip. “I can’t believe how big you’re getting. I thought you were going to stay little forever.” I tickled him gently.

            Luca squealed and squirmed in my arms. He saw Sebastian standing by the stove and wriggled. “Dada!”

            Sebastian turned around and smiled. “Hi, buddy. Del, you shouldn’t be carrying him.” He quickly took our son into his own arms.

            “I’m alright,” I assured him.

            “The doctors said you still needed to rest.” Sebastian kissed my forehead. "I don't want you hurting yourself." He'd been protective ever since we left the hospital. He heeded the doctor's orders a little better than I did. 

            “I know but I feel like I should be able to pick him up.” I shrugged. “He’s not heavy.” I poured myself a glass of water.

            Sebastian didn’t argue with me. “How about we go for a walk after breakfast?” He suggested. “Want to go to the park, bud?”

            “Park.” Luca mimicked. “Rock!”

            Our Great Dane dutifully stood up from his bed in the living room when he heard his favorite person calling him. He walked over and sniffed Luca’s feet making him giggle.

            I smiled and felt like the morning was a bit brighter than the day before.

 

            When Luca was around eighteen months, things were starting to look up for us. But there was always that hint of sadness that appeared whenever I had some time to think. I didn’t sleep very well. Most nights, I stared up at the wall and thought about what could’ve been. I did my best to hide my grief from Sebastian and Luca. But it was hard; knowing that the child I lost would’ve been born around that time. If things hadn’t gone so wrong, I could’ve been holding her.

            Sebastian began to pick up on my brooding and did everything he could to help. But I told him there wasn’t much we could do. It was just a hole that would stay with me the rest of my life.

            Instead, I tried focusing on raising Luca. I wanted to give him the best life possible, so I tried to make every day better than the last.

  

            Sebastian took my hand as he pushed Luca’s stroller. “You’re wearing your ring again.” He noted.

            I nodded. “It didn’t feel right.” I glanced over at him.

            He took a deep breath. “I wish I could make everything better immediately for you.” He said quietly. “If I could, I would take away the pain and just make you happy.”

            “Sebs, life is about happiness and hurt,” I told him. “We both knew from the start that our lives wouldn’t be picture perfect. Honestly, I don’t want a perfect life. This life, my life with you reminds me that I’m alive. I have you and we have Luca. Nothing is easy but I’d go to hell and back if it meant having you two in my life.”

            Rocket glanced over his shoulder as he walked beside the stroller.

            “And Rocket, of course.” I smiled.

            We stopped to sit on a bench and let Luca toddle around in the grass a little. We kept Rocket on a long lead so he could follow the infant, making sure he was okay.

            Sebastian ran his thumb over the top of my hand. “I appreciate that.” He said quietly. “But it still hurts me to see you in pain. I feel like I’m failing you.”

            “Then you can imagine how I felt when you broke your arm.” I teased.

            He smiled and let go of my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders. He pulled me close and kissed my hair. “I guess so.”

            “And you’re not failing me. Failing is just giving up on the relationship. I don’t believe for a second that you’ve done that.” I assured him.

            He sighed almost in relief and watched Luca running around. Rocket was never more than a few inches away from him at all times. When Luca fell, the Great Dane licked his cheek and lay down in front of him. Luca didn’t cry, the dog always seemed to cheer him up. He giggled when Rocket rested his large head on Luca’s feet. He patted the dog’s ears and I could see Rocket’s tail wagging.

            Sebastian and I laughed softly. “They love each other so much.”

            “They really do.” He agreed. “Well they’re both young, they’ll get to grow up together.”

            I rested my head against his chest and nodded. “I can’t wait for every second.”

 

            “Luca baby, look up at momma.” I coaxed as I fixed my phone to video the toddler.

            Luca giggled and beamed. He was always a ham for the camera. He wrapped his arms around Rocket, who was still taller than he was. They were both wearing party hats for Rocket’s birthday.

            “Who’s that?” I smiled as the Great Dane licked Luca’s forehead. “Luca, how old is Rocket today?” I asked.

            He held up his hand. “Four!” He said.

            “Alright, this is for the birthday boy.” Sebastian walked in from the kitchen and set down a dog biscuit birthday cake in front of Rocket. “And this is for Luca.” He gave him a little cupcake. He dimmed the lights and lit the candles in the cupcakes.

            “Ready? Happy birthday too you…” Sebastian and I started singing. It was silly, giving Rocket a small birthday celebration, but it made us smile and that was enough reason to do it. 

            "Happy birthday to youuuuuu..." Rocket howled along as we finished singing. Then both he and Luca devoured their birthday treats. I caught Sebastian gazing at me and smiled. I leaned over to kiss him softly. 

           

 

            After Luca turned two, Sebastian was beginning to work more often. I didn’t mind, if anything it felt more normal. Luca was healthy and blossoming so we could return to our usual lives. We found a home in Kensington, New York right outside of the city. It was quiet, safe, and the perfect place to raise a family. We were closer to Georgeta and Anthony so we could visit them often.

            We were happier and it almost felt like we were leaving behind the past hurt we’d gone through in California. We now had a yard of our own where Rocket and Luca could run around for hours. I felt at peace for the first time in a while.

           

            “Luca, stay where mom and dad can see you!” Sebastian called from the deck.

            “No!” The defiant toddler giggled as he ran to hide in some bushes. Rocket dutifully followed him, always making sure he was okay.

            “Luca!”

            We could hear his giggles but couldn’t see where he’d gone. Sebastian sighed and stood up.

            “Where did he go, Rock?” He followed the Great Dane and snatched up Luca.

            The little boy squealed as Sebastian started to tickle him. I smiled and felt my shoulders relax and my burden alleviate. Things were going to be okay. We would make them okay.

 

 

            “He was in  _I, Tonya,_ and plays Bucky Barnes in the Marvel movies, please welcome Sebastian Stan.”

            “I love you,” I whispered and kissed his cheek.

            Sebastian smiled and let go of my hand so he could walk out on stage. It was the first time I’d ever been to one of Sebastian’s interviews, especially a TV one. He’d been taking a break from the media while we went through our struggles but since things were looking up, he made more appearances.

            “So you’re engaged and you have a two-year-old. So you’re a regular family man.”

            I watched from the wing of the stage as Sebastian smiled. “Yes, my beautiful fiancee, Delilah, and our perfect little Luca. They’re great and I honestly wake up every morning so excited to see the both of them. Every day is something new with them and I’m grateful.”

            I swallowed and inevitably felt the tears rise up in my throat. I never got over listening to him talk about our family. He spoke with such enthusiasm and joy.

            “Recently, you posted a picture about going through some tough times. You took a little break from the public eye. But now you’re back, is that right?”

            “Yeah,” Sebastian rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath. I saw him subtly glance my way as if for strength. We agreed earlier that if he was asked, he could talk about what we went through. “Delilah unfortunately lost…” He cleared his throat and shook his head. “I really promised her that I wouldn’t cry.” He laughed weakly and sighed. “We, unfortunately, lost our daughter to a miscarriage.” I could see his eyes glaze over and I wished I could be there to hold him tight. “But we’re working through everything and we’re stronger now.” He took another deep breath. “All we can do is try to be stronger every day." 

 

 

 

            “Y’know, Chris and I were talking.”

            “Which one?”

            “Evans.”

            “Evans and you were talking?” I gasped. “What a surprise!”

            Sebastian rolled his eyes and poked my side. “I’m trying to tell you something, don’t make me tickle you.”

            I smirked and pretended to zip my lips. I tilted my head to the side as if to prompt him to keep talking.

            “As I was saying, Evans and I were talking.” He smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. “And he suggested we take a vacation somewhere. I mean, I'm free for a few weeks so we should take advantage of it. And it's your birthday soon." 

            "I don't need to do anything for my birthday." I reminded him. I wasn't one for celebrations, especially now that I was feeling so old with a two-year-old.

            "Alright, well we won't make it about your birthday." He compromised. "Even though I am doing something to celebrate." 

            "Sebastian..." 

            I didn't have the chance to scold him because I was cut off by a sharp cry. “Mommy!” Luca came running into our bedroom with Rocket hot on his heels.

            “What, baby, what’s wrong?” I asked and sat up.

            Luca was gripping his teddy bear tightly and came up to the edge of the bed. He peeked just his eyes over to look at me. “Monsters.” His voice muffled against the comforter.

            “Didn’t daddy check for monsters before bedtime?” I raised an eyebrow at Sebastian.

            He nodded. “Luca, daddy checked everywhere, there aren’t any monsters in your room.” 

            Luca’s gray eyes filled up with tears. “They came in through the window after daddy left!”

            “Didn’t Rocket scare them away?” I asked and tried not to laugh. It was so adorable but I tried to be sympathetic.

            “No, Rock was sleeping!” Luca whined. Rocket lifted his head and started to whimper and howl, matching Luca’s tone perfectly. It was their newest trick.

            Sebastian buried his face in my shoulder so he wouldn’t laugh either. It was getting pretty clear that Luca could be the next biggest thing in Hollywood if given a chance. He could tell a pretty intricate story and especially loved pretending to be Sebastian’s movie characters. He did a fantastic Bucky imitation.

            “Alright, you can sleep in here tonight.” I caved in and pulled the covers back. “Both of you, get up here.”

            Luca climbed up onto the bed and Rocket jumped up. They both came to snuggle right between Sebastian and I. I was on the luckier end and got Luca curled up in my arms while Sebastian got an armful of Great Dane. But we both smiled and kissed each other over their heads.

            “Goodnight.” I murmured to all of my boys and closed my eyes. My mind wandered to marrying Sebastian and I fell asleep with a smile on my face.


	20. Chapter 20

            I placed earrings in and smoothed down my dress. “Sebastian?” I called.

            “Yeah?” He walked into the bedroom where Luca was pushing toy cars around the floor. “Holy fu-”

            “Sebastian Stan!” I snapped. “Not in front of the baby.”

            “Not a baby!” Luca exclaimed.

            “You’ll always be mama’s baby,” I told him. “Even when you’re thirty, you'll still be my baby.”

            Luca pouted but just went back to his toys.

            “Zip me up?” I asked Sebastian.

            “Of course, gorgeous.” He traced his fingers up my spine before pulling the dress zipper up. “You remember last time we went to an event?” He murmured in my ear.

            I smiled but batted his hands away so I could finish my makeup. “How could I ever forget? You made a mess in our room.”

            He chuckled. “Guilty as charged. Well, I convince my mom to watch Luca until tomorrow so we could make a mess in this room.”

            “Sebs, this is their vacation too." I reminded him and turned around. "You shouldn’t make them babysit after that long plane ride.”

            “Trust me, my mom wants nothing but to be the best grandma ever and I'm sure Luca wants to spend time with them. Luca, don’t you want to have a sleepover in bunică’s room?”

             The toddler’s eyes lit up. “Yes!” He exclaimed.

             Sebastian smiled. “Case in point. Alright, mom and dad will pick you up tomorrow.” He winked at me. I just rolled my eyes but felt my stomach leap in excitement in anticipation of what was to come.

              

               I realized how long since we’d gone to a red carpet event together. It was a charity event but a lot of our friends were in attendance as well. It was nostalgic being back in L.A. and doing the typical things we did before Luca was born. But I also knew I would never give up our new life in New York.

               Sebastian held me close as we stood for pictures. We knew there were rumors about the past strain in our relationship.

               ‘Sebastian cheated’

               ‘Delilah cheated’

               ‘He fathered another child with another woman’

               ‘She purposefully miscarried’

               ‘They eloped and divorced’

               Every single one stung but I knew they were all lies. I never felt more confident about my relationship with him. And I couldn’t wait to finally make him my husband.

 

               "There they are." Chris bear hugged us. "You couldn't stay away from the limelight, huh, Stan?" He teased.

               Anthony smiled and walked over with Sheletta by his side. "It's good to see you two back on track." He said. 

               Sheletta nodded. "We were keeping you two in our thoughts," She touched my arm. "But we're glad to see you're working through everything you've been through." 

              "Thank you, it's been a rough road but it's getting easier." It felt good to get some support from friends while we were being scrutinized by the media. 

              "How's the little guy?" Chris asked. 

              "Still growing." I sighed. "And still looking more like Sebastian every day." 

              Sebastian chuckled and shrugged shyly. "He has your smile. But he's great, he's with my mom and Anthony now. We're going to take him to Disney tomorrow." 

              "Aw!" Sheletta cooed. 

              "I'll disown you if you don't take a million pictures," Chris warned.

              Anthony nodded. "I better have some cute selfies with all of y'all wearing mouse ears." 

              Sebastian groaned but I just nudged him. "We will trust me," I said and giggled.

 

 

               The next morning, I felt like I’d gotten every ache and knot out of my body. I groaned contently and opened my eyes. I was tangled up in the hotel room sheets. Sebastian was sprawled out across the bed, an arm around my hips. It was tough to unravel myself from him and the nest of blankets without waking him.

               “Del…” He grumbled and reeled me back in against his chest. “Don’t leave, you’re so warm.”

               I usually couldn’t resist his morning voice, but I knew Georgeta and Anthony would be bringing Luca back soon. “We should get decent before they come back.”

               “I like you like this though.” Sebastian protested but relented and let me get up. "You're so damn gorgeous." He ran a hand through his messy hair.

               “Oh, so you just like me naked?” I teased.

               “Well no, I mean that dress you wore last night was a close tie.” He grinned cheekily.

               “Mhm, thought so.” I dug through my suitcase to find an outfit. We were taking Luca to Disneyland since we were already in California.

               I glanced over to find Sebastian sitting up and gazing at me with soft eyes. “I can’t wait to marry you.” He sighed happily.

               I smile and finished pulling on a skirt. I crawled back onto the bed and straddled his hips. “Well, that makes two of us then.”

               “Printesa,” He groaned and hungrily mouthed at my pulse point. His strong hands held me firm and started to nudge my shirt up.

               “Sebs…”

               “Five more minutes.”

               “You’re so good at convincing me,” I said breathily and wrapped my arms around his neck.

               Our five minutes didn’t last long though. There was a knock at the door and we both jumped up. I threw Sebastian some clothes and he moved into the bathroom to change.

               I opened the door and smiled when Luca jumped into my arms. “Hi love, did you have fun with bunică?”

               “Yes!”

               “Oh, honey, your neck is red.” Georgeta said to me and looked concerned.  

               I set Luca down and glanced in the mirror. Sure enough, there was a nice red hickey on my collarbone. I grimaced. “We’ll be out in a minute. You can head down to the lobby, we'll meet you down there.” I went to the bathroom to get my makeup bag. “Sebastian Stan.” I hissed as I closed the door behind me.

               “What did I do?” He asked as he was shaving.

               I pointed to the bite mark as I pulled out concealer.

               He winced but it melted into a telltale smile. “Sorry, thought that would be hidden. But it was dark and..." 

               “You’re enjoying this.” I accused and did my best to cover up the mark with the concealer and some foundation.

               “It’s a little funny.” 

               “It’s not funny, your mom saw it. Now she knows.”

               “Oh please, she knows we have sex. She doesn’t think Luca was some immaculate conception.”He snorted. "She probably didn't even realize what it was." 

               I sighed and realized he had a point. “Fine, but it’s still embarrassing.”

               He pulled me close by the waist. “How about a kiss to make it better?”

               “No way, not while you’re shaving, I already did my makeup.”

               “You don’t like kissing me?” He stuck his lower lip out.

               “Don’t you dare…” I could see the mischievous look on his face. I squealed and wriggled in his arms as he pulled me flush against him and pecked my cheeks.

               “All better.” He smiled triumphantly.

               “You’re the worst.” I giggled a grabbed a washcloth to wipe the shaving cream off my face. “C’mon, Luca must be dying to get to the park.”

              

               Luca nearly shrieked in happiness when he saw Mickey Mouse. He was perched up on Sebastian’s shoulders as he pointed out everything. I got the cutest pictures of him and a few videos of him exploring.

               After a messy post-lunch ice cream and a tantrum that nearly hit an eight on the meltdown scale, Luca was fast asleep in his stroller.

               Sebastian and I were sitting as I slowly moved the stroller back and forth to keep him lulled even with the loud environment.

               “I should dress up like a princess. I could be a good Cinderella.” I decided.

               “Or you could wear a red wig and be a hot Ariel,” Sebastian smirked. “She shows a little more skin.”

               “You’ve got your mind in the gutter, Stan.” I accused and nudged him. “Do you prefer redheads?” I raised an eyebrow.

               “Whoa, whoa, I never said that. I like all hair colors, besides, it’s all about the eyes.”

               “Really?”

               “Absolutely. I can still remember the day I first saw your face. I couldn’t look away from those eyes.” He rubbed my shoulder.  

               “Tell me the story.” I murmured softly and snuggled into the crook of his body. It could’ve been the location but I was feeling nostalgic and wanted to hear his thoughts on the day we first met face to face.

               “Well, I was super nervous because you still thought I was just Ian. I was worried you wouldn’t want to talk to me because I wasn’t totally honest about myself.”

               “You were just vague.” I smiled.

               “Either way,” he shrugged, “I couldn’t blame you if you walked away. Then, I walked into the panel room. I couldn’t see you at first because you were behind a camera. The whole time I was trying to figure out which photographer you were. Then I said your name when that fan asked about you.” He smiled as if he was sitting in that room years before. “You looked up over your giant camera. I saw it in your eyes, not only the surprise but also the kindness. I knew you were the person behind the letters, the woman I fell in love with.”

               “Did you think we’d be together from the start?” I asked.

               “I hoped we would. You were everything I wanted in a partner. You were exciting but you were laid back and had so much love for Rocket and your job.” He glanced over at me.

               “I never thought my life would bring me here.” I gazed back at him.

               “Do you like that it brought you here?”

               I hardly even noticed the people around us in the busy park. I was too focused on him. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”


	21. Chapter 21

              “Whoa!” Luca held his arms open. “This ocean is so big!” He exclaimed.

              Sebastian and I laughed as we followed him across the dunes to the beach. “It’s the same ocean as the one back home, buddy.” He said.

              “Really?” Luca’s eyes widened. “Can I wave to bunică?” He asked.

              “I’m not sure she’ll see you but you can if you want,” I said and we found a spot on the beach. There were only a few other families because it was early and it was a pretty hidden part of the island.

 

              We were on Martha’s Vineyard, an island off the cape of Massachusetts. It was a warm summer and the beaches were pristine. I loved all the little shops downtown and especially the seafood. We rented a beautiful cottage right on the beach and Luca could spend hours playing in the sand.

              Luca sat down on the sand to take off his little sandals. “Dad, can we go swimming?” He asked.

              “We can swim tomorrow, we need to go out to dinner in an hour. Tomorrow we’ll have the whole day to spend here.” Sebastian promised and kicked off his shoes. “You can put your feet in though.”

              They walked over to the water’s edge, Luca holding on tightly to Sebastian’s hand. Our son giggled and jumped around in the water.

              “It’s cold, mama!” He squealed.

              I laughed and watched them as the sun started to set.

 

              After dinner, we were walking down the main street. Luca was falling asleep in Sebastian’s arms.

              “So your birthday is Saturday.” He said and reached for my hand.

              I smiled and shrugged. “Yeah, thirty-five.” I sighed. “Time really flies, I feel like my twentieth was last year.”

              “You look great, what are you talking about?” Sebastian said softly.

              “It’s not that, I just hate aging sometimes. I mean, Luca’s going to grow up so fast and I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

              “Neither am I, but I think it’ll be good to watch him get older and experience more.”

              “Yeah.”

              We walked in silence for a moment, our fingers interlocked. “Let’s do something to celebrate.”

              “Oh, no, Sebastian, we don’t have to.” I winced.

              “I want to do something special for you.”

              “Okay, how about…you can wish me a happy birthday,” I said hoping he wouldn’t make a big deal out of nothing.

              “Delilah.” He protested.

              “Sebastian.” I mimicked.

              “Let me do something for you.”

              I sighed and knew he wouldn’t give in easily. “Alright, but nothing big,” I warned.

 

              All through the week, Sebastian continued bringing up my birthday. And from what he was implying, it didn’t sound good.

 

              “So, do you prefer trios or quartets when it comes to live music?”

              “Sebastian…”

              “Or marching bands, because I have a lot of options.”

              “Don’t even joke about that.”

 

              “So, they have some really nice jewelry places. But maybe we should wait until we get home to a Tiffany’s.”

              “Sebastian, no jewelry.”  

 

              “So, we can pick between a white horse and a paint horse for the carriage.”

              “Sebastian, I swear to God.”

 

              “Now I need to book a yacht today…”

              “Sebastian Stan, I’m going to call your mother!”

 

              By the time my birthday rolled around, I was dreading it. The day went smoothly, nothing but a nice happy birthday kiss and some breakfast in bed. Luca excitedly gave me the card he drew and the presents he picked out, a kite we could fly on the beach, seashells he’d found, and a beautiful sweater in his favorite color, blue.

              As the sun started to set, I returned from shopping per Sebastian’s request. I walked into the cottage and found it was very quiet.

              “Sebs? Luca?” I walked to the back deck where a small table had been set up with my favorite flowers and candles.

              “Oh hey.” Sebastian came out of the kitchen with a smile. “Happy birthday, gorgeous.”

              “Where’s my marching band?” I asked coyly and set my bags down. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

              “I was throwing you off the scent.” He chuckled and kissed me softly. “Do you like it?”

              “I love it.” I murmured and ran my fingers through his hair. “And I love you.”

              “I love you more.” He grazed my cheek and drew away. “So, Luca’s fast asleep and we have the rest of the night to ourselves.”

           It was tough getting through the whole dinner and keeping my hands off of Sebastian. I wanted to appreciate all the effort he went into putting the whole night together, but he was making it difficult. He was wearing a simple white button-down and slacks, his hair was shorter, and his cheeks were a little scruffy. But he knew that’s how I liked him.

           The table was way too much space between us and the way he looked at me over the candlelight was way too unfair.

           Once we finally got through dinner, Sebastian got up to start the dishes. I stopped him the second he put the plates in the sink.

           “Nope, I’ll do that tomorrow. I can’t wait.” I said and grabbed him by his shirt collar.

           He grinned and scooped me up. He wrapped my legs around his waist and started to walk to the bedroom.

           “God, I’m so lucky to have my husband’s Marvel muscles.” I murmured and kissed his neck.

           “Probably for more reasons than one.” He chuckled and squeezed my thigh.

           “Yeah, I could list off my top ten reasons.”

           “Is this number one?” He nudged the door open with his hip and set me down on the bed.

           “Probably…” I bit my lip and watched him unbutton his shirt. He moved painfully slowly and I felt my impatience getting the best of me. “I swear to God, I’m going to rip those buttons off if you don’t hurry up, Stan,” I warned.

           “Fine, but I hope you’re wearing your favorite panties because I’ll get my revenge.” He cocked an eyebrow and smirked.

           “But it’s my birthday.” I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest like Luca did when he was upset.

           “Don’t worry, I’ll make it worth your while.” He practically purred as he finally swept his shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor.

           I felt my legs turn to jelly and leaned back against the pillows. “You’re being such a tease.” I accused.

           “I’ve waited all week for our time alone. You’re the one who’s been teasing me.” He replied and grabbed my ankles to pull me close to him.

           I squealed softly as he tickled my sides. “Sebs! This isn’t what I had in mind.” I squirmed.

           He smiled and mouthed hungrily at my neck and collarbone. His hands stilled and burned into my hips. It seemed like every time we made love, the feeling of his skin was so familiar but so unique. It was like feeling the spring sun on my face after a long winter.

     

          By midnight, we wore ourselves out but still hadn’t fallen asleep yet. The bedroom was in a bit of disarray but I figured we could clean it all up in the morning.

           I groaned softly and stretched my arms up. “That was the best birthday present.” I murmured and kissed Sebastian’s cheek.

           He smiled and held me close. “Better than a marching band on a yacht?” He teased.

           “Definitely.” I shimmied out of his arms and sat up. “I need to shower and then we should probably get to sleep. Luca wanted to go to the beach again tomorrow.”

           “Alright.” Sebastian stood up and followed me into the bathroom. He kept grazing his fingers over my skin as I started the shower and took out towels.

           Once the water was hot enough, I stepped in and stood with my back to Sebastian’s chest.

           He combed his fingers through my hair and kissed my shoulder. “I love you.” He whispered.

           “I love you too.” I leaned back against him, letting him support me. I could feel his heart beating against my skin.

           He sighed and moved his hands down my arms and to my hips. His thumbs rubbed circles over my hipbones and he splayed his fingers over my stomach. I could feel his eyes on me but we were far beyond modesty in our relationship. I couldn’t count the times we’d been naked in front of each other. And even though I had my insecurities, Sebastian always made me feel like I was beautiful no matter what.

           “Marry me.” He whispered in my ear.

           “I’m going to, silly.” I murmured and put my hands over his.

           “When?” His lips grazed over the shell of my ear and down to my shoulder.

           “Whenever you want.” I felt my knees go weak. We’d been together for years and I still couldn’t get over how he made me feel.  

           “How about now?”

           I smiled and turned around to face him. “Okay, I do.” I pecked his lips. “We’re married now.”

           He chuckled and stroked my cheek. “Soon, though.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I can’t bear the wait.”

           I wrapped my arms around his neck. “Neither can I.”

           He just held me for a little bit, letting the warm water cascade over us.


	22. Chapter 22

            “I had no idea how complicated flower arrangements were.” Sebastian held the door open for me as we left the florist.

            “I had a feeling. We can still just go get a marriage license.” I reminded him.

            “Nope, I’m giving you the wedding you deserve.” He said and took my hand. “You’re going to be an actor’s wife so we’re making it classy.”

            “We’re very classy.” I giggled.

            “Oh my God, Sebastian?”

            I expected to see a fan in front of us, but instead, Sebastian looked surprised too.

            “Isabel?”

            “How are you?” The woman hugged my fiancee without any hesitation.

            Every bone in my body tensed up when I saw the way she touched him.

            Sebastian ended the hug first. He cleared his throat and wrapped an arm around me. “Isabel worked hair and makeup on the set of _Once Upon a Time._ ” He explained.

            “And _Gossip Girl_.” She reminded him.

            “Oh yeah, that’s right.” He nodded but didn’t dwell on the fact. “Isabel, this is my fiancee, Delilah.”

            A look of realization crossed her face but she didn’t seem pleased. “Oh right, I thought I heard something about you with someone.” She nodded and put on a smile that even I could tell was fake. “It’s nice to meet you, Delilah.”

            “It’s nice to meet you too,” I replied stiffly. I tried to determine the nature of their relationship. Normally, crewmembers were friendly with Sebastian but I’d never seen him instantly remember someone from a set, especially after so many years.

            “Sebs, you have to come visit me sometime. I work on the same lot as Marvel. I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other yet.

            Hang on. Did she just call him Sebs?

            “When you’re back in Los Angeles we should spend time together to catch up.”

            Was this chick seriously flirting with my fiancee right in front of me?

            “We actually moved to New York with our son,” Sebastian said. I was proud that he mentioned Luca and hoped it would make her back off.

            It didn’t.

            “Oh, well I’ll be in New York for another week. I’ll text you, okay? I’ve got to run, though.” She waved and gave Sebastian another lingering look. “Bye, Delilah.”

            My blood boiled but I couldn’t even gather the words. She walked away and I gave Sebastian an exasperated look.

            He sighed heavily. “Let’s go, I don’t even want to think about it.” He grumbled.

 

            Later that night, I was still fuming and wanted to get to the bottom of Sebastian’s past with Isabel. I felt I deserved answers. I told him about all my exes and I thought he’d been just as honest with me.

            Once Luca was asleep, I sat on our bed and scrolled through Isabel’s Instagram and Twitter.

            Sebastian got home from the gym and walked into the bedroom. “Sweaty kiss incoming.” He swooped down to kiss my cheek before I could protest.

            I couldn’t help but smile as I pushed him away. “Gross, go shower you stink.” I made a face at him.

            “It’s manly.” He grinned and tugged his t-shirt off. “Plus, you get to touch the results.” He smirked.

            I bit my lip and indulged in looking at his abs. “I guess that’s true. But I’m not going near you until you shower.”

            He tossed his shirt at me. “Okay, okay, you can have my shirt, no need to beg.”

            I rolled my eyes and threw it at the hamper. “Why am I marrying you again?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

            He gestured at his stomach. “These probably and maybe…” His hands traveled lower and I chucked a pillow at him.

            “Oh my God, go shower you pervert!” I exclaimed.

            He laughed and shut the bathroom door behind him.

            My smile faded when I looked back at my phone and saw Isabel’s face staring back at me. I sighed and exited out of the app. Sebastian didn’t seem to be hiding anything. I could usually tell when he was lying to me. Luca had the same telltale signs that he was fibbing. They were more animated with their hands and they had a hard time looking me straight in the eyes.

            I was about to call it a night when Sebastian’s phone pinged. He left it right by my side on the bed when he kissed me. I knew it was a bad idea but I looked over to read the screen.

           

            Isabel: You didn’t tell me anything. I thought we were at least friends.

 

            I picked up the phone and stared at the words. I couldn’t even guess what she was talking about. So I opened his phone. I knew his password was five-eight-two-two or ‘Luca’.

            I opened the messages and started from the beginning. Isabel had texted him less than an hour after we ran into her.

           

            Isabel: I’ve missed you so much, can we talk?

            Seb: I don’t know. The way you acted in front of Delilah was way out of line. I don’t appreciate that.

            Isabel: Well, I didn’t even know you were with anyone. I mean, engaged?

            Seb: Yes, and I’m very happy with her. We have a family so I’d like it if you backed off.

            Isabel: You fucking turned me down because you said you didn’t like commitments.

            Seb: Yeah, and I did that so I wouldn’t hurt your feelings. I was never into you and I thought I made that clear. I didn’t want to lead you on.

            Isabel: Oh, so she’s so special? Give me a break, Sebastian.

            Seb: Watch it. The only reason I’m texting you is that I need you to know that the way you’re acting is horrible.

            Isabel: You could’ve had more.

            Seb: I have everything, thank you very much.

            Isabel: I’ve been waiting for you for years. I thought you would grow up and realize we could be together.

            Isabel: You didn’t even give me a chance.

            Isabel: I can show you, just please give me a chance.

            Isabel: You didn’t tell me anything about her or your kid. I thought we were at least friends.

 

            I didn’t even hear the shower turn off so I didn’t have time to hide the fact that I was invading Sebastian’s privacy.

            The door opened and I nearly jumped in the air.

            He walked out with a towel around his waist. “Isabel still rambling on?” He went to the dresser. It didn’t seem like he was upset about what I was doing.

            “Sorry, I shouldn’t have looked.” I winced. “She was just bothering me.”

            He shook his head. “I don’t mind. There’s nothing that I need to hide. Just don’t look at my selfies. Evans and I took some embarrassing ones.” He grinned.

            “You know I’m going to look now, right?” I warned.

            He chuckled and put on a pair of boxers and sweatpants. “I guess I asked for it.”

            I cuddled up against him when he lay down beside me. He nuzzled my neck, water droplets from his hair pressed into my cheek. I inhaled the scent of his body wash on his skin and grazed my fingers over his chest.

            “You don’t have to worry about her,” Sebastian assured me.

            “I know.” I murmured and focused on tracing the contours of his skin.

            “I would never trade you for anything or anyone. You and Luca are priceless to me. I can’t even describe how it feels to wake up to you two singing Disney songs in the kitchen.”

            I smiled and pictured a half-awake Sebastian waling into the kitchen. His hair ruffled and his eyes still adjusting to the light. Rocket and Luca always raced to see who could get to him first. Then, he would join in on the breakfast-making-singing-fest. It made me smile just thinking about it.

            “I do have one question though,” I said.

            “Sure.”

            “She said you told her you didn’t like commitments. Was any of that true?” I looked up at him. I wasn’t afraid he would duck out on me, I just wanted to know if he was hesitant about long-term relationships when he was younger.

            He shook his head. “Honestly, that was around the time I was falling for you over our letters.” He explained and loosely ran his fingers through my hair. “I hadn’t told anyone about it. I was afraid people would say I was stupid for pining after a girl I’d never even met.”

            “So, I was like the celebrity and you were my fan.”

            He laughed softly. “That shouldn’t be a surprise. I’ve been your biggest fan for years. I’d wait in line for days to see you, I’d want you to sign all of my possessions, and I’d probably faint if you kissed me.”

            I giggled and gave him a peck on the lips.

            He gasped and pretended to fall limp against me. He pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “Dream come true.” He said in a breathy voice.

            “You’re ridiculous.” I sighed.

            “You’ll never get bored of me though.” He opened his eyes and winked up at me.

            “I could never get bored of you.” I kissed his forehead. “I love you too much.”

            “I love you more.”


	23. Chapter 23

          I wasn’t worried about our wedding for one second. Most of our friends helped out and made sure we were all set for the big day. It was a sense of relief too. Knowing I could finally call Sebastian my husband was unbelievable but something I’d been waiting so long for.

           Sebastian seemed anxious to seal the deal too. He wanted to plan everything perfectly but was a little impatient with waiting. He kept reminding me how long it would be until we were finally married.

           “Only a month until our wedding.”

           I smiled as I finished making Luca his favorite dinner, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets. “Getting nervous?” I teased.

           “Oh, you wish.”

           “Two more weeks before I put a ring on it.”

           I rolled my eyes. “Alright, Beyoncé.”

 

           “One more week, Del.” He whispered.

           I snuggled up to him. “I hope it goes by fast.”

 

           “Hey, so just making sure. Are you taking my last name or am I taking yours? Or, we could hyphenate it.”

           I sighed. “How many times have you called me, ‘Mrs. Stan’ this week?” I raised an eyebrow at him.

           “Alright, just checking because we only have two more days.” His eyes glinted in excitement.

 

           “Hey, so I know this is sudden, but could you meet me at the altar at noon tomorrow? I’ll give you the address and everything”

           “Oh, were we planning on doing something big?” I put my hair up.

           “Not huge, just some like stupid wedding vows. Honestly, don’t even stress about it. In fact, if you want to wear jeans that’s totally fine.” He shrugged and hid a smirk from me.

           “Cool, cool. Yeah, I’m not really super into commitment so this is just a fun one-day thing, right?” I turned around to look at him.

           “Oh totally. Once we say ‘I do’ you can definitely take off. I already have a date with someone off of Tinder, so if you could scoot out before seven, that would be rad.”

           I couldn’t help it and burst into giggles. “Don’t even sweat it. Oh, and if I’m a little late tomorrow?”

           “No probs, I’ll see if my Tinder date can make it.”

           “Oh my God, can you two shut up?” Chris called from the next room. “You’re getting married you can stop flirting with each other!”

           “Seriously, how old are you two?” Anthony chimed in as they waited to drag Sebastian off to his bachelor party.

           We laughed and I kissed my fiancée’s cheek. “Alright, go have fun tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

           “This is super cheesy, but I’ll be the one in the tux. You might recognize me.”

           “I’ll be the one in white.” I didn’t care how unbearably obnoxious it was. Our banter never got old to me. It reminded me of our beginnings.

           Chris let out a tortured groan. “You two are killing me, can you please just stop?”

           Sebastian grinned. “Yeah, yeah, let’s go.”

           “You all better behave. Sebastian, you keep them in line. I’m not bailing anyone out tonight. And if you happen to miss our wedding because you’re in jail, I’ll be super upset.”

           “Yes, ma’am.” All three of them sounded off. Chris even gave a little Captain America salute.

           “You have fun with the girls.” Sebastian kissed my cheek. “See you tomorrow.”

 

           The season was melding into summer and the weather couldn’t have been more perfect.  I climbed up the stairs with Elizabeth holding my train from behind. I made it to the rooftop of the building and took a deep breath. The roof was decorated for the occasion with a large array of white and blue flowers. On one side, chairs and a delicate altar were set up, and the other side was all ready for the reception.

           I noticed the guests for a second but then my attention was drawn to Sebastian. I had seen him in a tuxedo many times before but this was so much better than a red carpet event.

           He was holding Luca and standing proudly. Rocket was sitting by his side with a little bowtie around his collar. When our eyes met, I remembered the first letter he ever sent to me, one particular section echoed in my head.

           I guess you could say I’ve had some wins in my life but I’m waiting for something that makes me feel like everything was worth it. All the hours I put in, whatever it might be, I want to know I’ve done the right thing.

           He was right. It was all worth it. Every argument, every tear we cried, every time we were apart, it was all worth it. I wouldn’t take any moment back. Every moment with Sebastian and Luca was a gift.

           Sebastian smiled and said something softly to Luca. I walked down the aisle to them and arrived by his side.

           “Hi, baby,” I whispered and kissed Luca’s cheek.

           “Mama’s beautiful,” Luca said.

           “She sure is.” Sebastian’s voice sounded a little dazed and his eyes never left mine.

           “The groom and bride would like to read their vows. Sebastian, you can go first.”

           “Alright.” Sebastian cleared his throat and reached into his suit pocket for a piece of paper. “Delilah, when we first met, I had a feeling we would end up together. I needed to make sure you were on board with that but luckily you were. When you told me you were pregnant with Luca…” He laughed and shook his head. “I thought I was dreaming.”

           Luca giggled and clung to the skirt of my dress shyly. I smiled and stroked his hair back.

           “And when we held him for the first time.” Tears formed in Sebastian’s eyes and I couldn’t stop mine from rolling down my cheeks either. “I had no idea what I was doing but it felt right. We had a family and I was happy. We’ve been through so much together and every moment was something I’ll treasure. Getting to wake up next to you every morning is…indescribable. This wedding is just a formality because the part of our life is going to be just as great.”

           I swallowed and had to keep myself from kissing him.

           “Delilah, your vows.”

           “Sebastian…I had no idea what I was doing with my life before I met you. I never thought I would say this about another person but I can’t imagine living without you. I know we’ve had our hard times and I know the position we’re put in is tough. But I don’t care what you do for a living, or where we live, or what happens to us. As long as I have you and our perfect boy.” I hugged Luca close. “I’m happy. And from now on, it’s going to be the five of us.”

           Sebastian looked confused for a moment. “Five of us?” He glanced down at Rocket. “Are we getting another dog?” He whispered to me.

           I giggled. “Nope…”

           “Oh my God!” Chris Hemsworth suddenly exclaimed.

           “What? I don’t get it?” Tom Holland seemed just as lost as Sebastian was. “There’s only four of them.”

           “Wait…you’re pregnant?” It dawned on my husband. “You’re pregnant? Oh, my God…”

           I laughed as he scooped me up in his arms.

           “I knew it!” Scarlett piped up from the seats. “She wasn’t drinking last night at her own bachelorette party. I called it first.”

           “Oh, my God…” Sebastian ran a hand through his hair and then placed his palms on my stomach where a small baby bump was forming. “How did I not even notice this?” He gasped.

           “You were too busy with the wedding, I planned it perfectly.” I smiled.

           “Luca, buddy, you’re going to be an older brother!”

           Our son looked puzzled. “What?”

           “We can explain it later,” I assured him. “Let’s make it official,” I said and slid the band on Sebastian’s finger. He did the same and touched my cheek.

           “I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Stan, you may kiss the bride.”  

           “Get some!” Anthony hollered while Robert wolf whistled.

           I rolled my eyes and kissed Sebastian tenderly. He was mine forever and I was his.


	24. Chapter 24

            “I met Sebastian nearly a decade ago when we were on the set of the first Captain America. Everyone said he had this bad-boy air to him but I guess I saw through that pretty quickly. He’s a big goofball and if you spend five minutes one-on-one with him, you’ll see that.” Chris Evans smiled as he read off the little notecards.

            The sun was setting and the reception was buzzing with love and excitement. Little mason jars with lights illuminated the rooftop and the rest of the city seemed further away than it actually was. The music drowned out the typical noise of the streets below and it as if we were in a little bubble, completely separate from the world.

            “Then, one day, after Civil War, he comes to me about this woman he’s met. He said, ‘she’s coming to San Diego to meet me and I’m nervous’. Now before then, Sebastian wasn’t really shy around women. So it was a little funny to see him so spooked. Then he explained it was a pen pal and I was a little confused because I was pretty sure it was 2016, not 1970.”

            Sebastian and I grinned and he shrugged.

            “Then they met, and he called me the next day. He told me he’d found ‘the one’.”

            I glanced over at Sebastian with a look of surprise. I had never heard the story before and it brought tears to my eyes.

            Sebastian smiled and lifted my knuckles to his lips.

            “I told him he might be getting a little ahead of himself but he was sure of it. So we all went with it and I guess we can all be glad that he did. Delilah, you and Sebastian are the perfect match. And I know you’ve both gone through some hard times but that’s life. I think as long as you can handle those rough patches, you’ll both be golden.”

            I smiled and nodded. “Thank you,” I said softly.

            “To Sebastian and Delilah.” Chris raised his glass along with the rest of the wedding party.

            “Now we just need to get you hitched.” Sebastian grinned. “You’re the only bachelor Avenger left, big guy.” He stood up to hug Chris.

            The blond’s face went red. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You find the right girl and I’ll marry her.”

            “Challenge accepted.”

 

            Sebastian pulled me close as we stepped on the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around my waist, making sure I was as close as possible. It still felt too far though.

            I clasped my hands behind his neck and kissed him softly. We parted and started to sway to the music.

            “How far along are you?” He asked softly, his eyes sparkling with joy.

            “Twelve weeks.”

            “I can’t wait.” He whispered and pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m scared though.” He admitted.

            I didn’t need any clarification. I knew exactly what he was talking about. “I am too.” There was a higher risk of miscarriage after having one. It was something my OB/GYN reminded me. “But it’ll be okay,” I promised.

            He swallowed. “I want it to be. But life can be so unpredictable.”

            “Isn’t that a good thing sometimes though?” I murmured. I didn’t want him to be down on our wedding day. I tried to make it all optimistic. We could worry another day.

            “I guess. But it’s not always good.”

            “I have a good feeling about this.” I told him. “I’m sure, in a few more months, we’re going to have our baby girl or boy.”

 

            Sebastian pulled me close as we stepped on the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around my waist, making sure I was as close as possible. It still felt too far though.

            I clasped my hands behind his neck and kissed him softly. We parted and started to sway to the music.

            “How far along are you?” He asked softly, his eyes sparkling with joy.

            “Twelve weeks.”

            “I can’t wait.” He whispered and pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m scared though.” He admitted.

            I didn’t need any clarification. I knew exactly what he was talking about. “I am too.” There was a higher risk of miscarriage after having one. It was something my OB/GYN reminded me. “But it’ll be okay,” I promised.

            He swallowed. “I want it to be. But life can be so unpredictable.”

            “Isn’t that a good thing sometimes though?” I murmured. I didn’t want him to be down on our wedding day. I tried to make it all optimistic. We could worry another day.

            “I guess. But it’s not always good.”

            “I have a good feeling about this,” I told him. “I’m sure, in a few more months, we’re going to have our baby girl or boy.”

 

            Luca didn’t seem to understand the idea of a honeymoon. As we were leaving the reception to head to the airport, he woke up from a nap. It was nearing midnight but Sebastian assured me that it wouldn’t kill him if he stayed up that late for one night.

            “Mama, are we going home?” He rubbed his eyes and reached up.

            I had come out of the bathroom after changing out of my dress. “No baby, daddy and I are leaving. You’re going to stay with bunică this week.” I reminded him and scooped him up.

            Our son looked confused. “Where are you going?”

            “Daddy and I are going on our honeymoon.” I combed his hair back with my fingers and placed a kiss on his forehead. “We’ll only be gone for seven days though. You won’t even miss us because you’ll be having so much fun with your bunică.”

            Luca started to scrunch up his face. “But I want to go with you.” He stuck out his lower lip.

            I could sense an oncoming tantrum so I tried to go about the conversation lightly. “Rocket is going to stay with you. You two are going to be just fine together. You’ll have so much fun visiting bunică, you won’t even notice daddy and I are gone.”

            Sebastian came down the hall. “Hey, the car’s here. Ready?”

            “Daddy…” Luca’s eyes welled up with tears as he saw Sebastian was carrying luggage. He was somewhat used to Sebastian leaving for trips. Usually, we went with him when we could. But sometimes, he went alone and we stayed behind. Luca was starting to pick up on the idea that suitcases meant we would be separated. But never before had he been away from both of us for a long period of time.

            “What’s wrong, bud?” Sebastian set the bag down and reached to take him from me. “Are you tired?”

            “Yes.” Luca rubbed his eyes with his fists. “I want to go with you and mama.” He whined.

            “I’m sorry, love, but mom and dad are just taking a little trip. We’ll be back home before you know it.”

            “We’ll be able to facetime,” I promised and rubbed his back. “So we can talk and see each other.”

            Luca whimpered and clung tightly to Sebastian. “I don’t want you to leave!” He seemed too tired to put up too much of a fuss.

            “Sh, it’s okay.” Sebastian kissed his cheek. “You must be exhausted. Let’s go find bunică so you can go home and sleep.”

            Georgeta and Anthony were waiting by the doors with the rest of the wedding guests who had stayed to see us off.

            “What’s the matter? Why is my little one crying?” Georgeta took Luca into her arms.

            “He’s tired and doesn’t want us to leave.” I sighed and felt guilty about going away without him.

            “Let’s go home to sleep,” Georgeta said softly.

            “Give me kisses.” I touched Luca’s cheek. He begrudgingly kissed me goodbye, still whining about how he wanted us to stay.

            “Be good,” Sebastian said. “We’ll call you tomorrow morning.” He took my hand. We left quickly so we wouldn’t make it harder for him. As we walked to the car, our friends were more than happy to pelt rice at us.

            “Hey, go easy on her Sebby she’s already pregnant,” Anthony called out.

            “Yeah, we don’t want twins,” Evans added.

            Sebastian rolled his eyes and gave them both a look. “You two get funnier every day.” He opened the car door for me and went around to the driver’s side.

            I rolled down the window and blew Luca a kiss. I knew I would feel guilty for a bit but in the end, everything would be okay. I was sure the next morning he would be more than happy to be visiting his grandparents.

 

            As we drove to the airport, I took Sebastian’s hand and took note of my wedding band. I smiled and looked up at him. “We’re married.”

            “Oh, shit…was that what we just did? I didn’t know we were getting married for real, I thought that was just a practice run!” He feigned panic.

            I giggled and shook my head. “I love you.” I leaned over the console to kiss his cheek.

            “I love you too, Mrs. Stan.”

 

            I hadn’t realized I’d fallen asleep. I guess it was inevitable. Day three of my honeymoon and I was curled up in a hammock with my husband on the beach. I had been reading initially, Sebastian was checking updates on his phone. One of his legs was hanging outside of the little nest we’d made so he could keep the hammock swaying peacefully. The absolute serenity of the beach, the lulling motion of the hammock, Sebastian’s heartbeat against my shoulder blades, and the humid air was the perfect combination for a nap.

            I woke up about an hour later in the same spot. The sun was beating down but we were tucked away in the shade by the water. A gentle breeze played with my hair and cooled my skin.

            “I thought we were going to be here for hours.” Sebastian chuckled when he saw my eyes open. “You were out like a light.”

            I yawned and stretched out my legs. “I didn’t even mean to fall asleep.” I twisted around to look at him.

            He was smiling, the sun had already given his skin a gorgeous tanned glow, and he seemed so relaxed. I couldn’t blame him. Going to Fiji for our honeymoon sounded a little extravagant but Sebastian said he wanted to spoil me. I was grateful I let him plan the whole trip. It couldn’t have been more perfect. It was quiet, secluded and no one acknowledged Sebastian’s fame, which was a blessing. The trip was about us and I wanted him completely to myself.

            Sebastian traced his fingers up and down my stomach and hips. He gently nudged my tank top up to touch the baby bump. He didn’t say anything for a bit, he just made small patterns with the pads of his fingers.

            “Are you trying to make me fall asleep again?” I accused.

            He chuckled and kissed my shoulder. “You can sleep for as long as you want. I don’t want to move from here until I absolutely have to.” He said.

            “Hm…neither do I.” I decided and took his left hand in mine.

            He moved his hand from my stomach to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. He grazed the tip of his nose up my collarbone and neck, making me shiver slightly. I knew he was aware of all my weak spots by then. He hadn’t wasted our years together. We had practically memorized each other’s body. There weren’t a lot of surprises left but I wasn’t bored. He could never be boring to me. Every time he touched me made me feel special. It didn’t matter if it was sexual or just a brief touch on the arm in public. The way his skin touched mine was completely unique to anything else I would experience with another human.

            “Te iubesc.” He breathed softly and nibbled at my earlobe.

            I felt my toes curl and I shifted around in the hammock to face him. “Te iubesc mai mult.” I replied and kissed him softly.

            He returned the kiss but pulled away after a few moments. “You learned some Romanian?” He asked with an awed smile.

            I shrugged sheepishly. “Your mom has been teaching Luca and I a few things.” I nodded. “I figured it might bring us all closer.”

            “Goddammit I love you so much.” He groaned and fiercely captured my lips with his.


	25. Chapter 25

            “Daddy!”

            Sebastian smiled and adjusted the phone so he could see Luca. “Hey, buddy!” It was around five in the morning on the island and we were up so we could talk to Luca. We didn't mind the time difference, so long as we got to talk to our baby. Afterward, we usually fell back asleep for another few hours. We stayed up late so we decided it was justified. 

            “Daddy, daddy, look!”

            I glanced over Sebastian’s shoulder to see Luca clumsily picking Georgeta’s iPad. “Sweetie, don’t drop that,” I said gently.

            “I won’t!” He promised and toddled through the room. “Rocket!” He called. "Rocket?" 

            The Great Dane trotted over and I giggled when he came into view. “How did Rocket get socks on his ears?” I asked.

            “I was helping bunică with laundry but we got bored and I made Rocket a bunny.” He explained with a proud smile.

            Sebastian chuckled. “He looks good. Make sure bunică takes a picture for mom.” He said.

            “Okay.”

            “Are you behaving for bunică?” I asked and rested my chin on Sebastian’s shoulder.

            “Yes.” Luca nodded and Rocket sniffed at the iPad, his nose taking up most of the screen.

            “Good, we miss you both very much,” I said softly.

            “We miss you too.” Luca nudged Rocket aside so he could see us again. "But bunică's making mac and cheese for lunch so I hafta go!" He said anxiously. His worries about being away from us hadn't lasted a full night. He was having a ball with his grandparents, mostly because they spoiled him to no end. 

            “Love you, bud.” Sebastian smiled. “We’ll be home soon.”

 

            I walked down the dock to where a small table had been set up for dinner. Sebastian was already waiting, his back turned to me as he looked out over the ocean. The sun was just starting to set and it turned the water all shades of purple, pink, red, orange, and yellow. It was gorgeous but not unique to the area. I’d already seen the sunset there and it only swayed me to stay on the island. But of course, I missed New York. I missed our little Luca and Rocket.

            Sebastian turned around when he heard me walking over and smiled. “You know, there are some days when I think I’ll stop being stunned by how gorgeous you look. But I’m one hundred percent certain that day will never come.” He took my hands in his and spun me around to put my dress on display.

            I laughed softly and shook my head. “You sure you won’t think I’m gorgeous when I’m like ninety?”

            “Hell no. If we have grandkids or great grandkids I’m going to talk their ear off about how fucking beautiful their grandmother is.” He pulled me close to kiss my cheek.

            “One, you will not be swearing in front of our grandchildren, and two I’m sure they won’t believe you.” I raised an eyebrow at him.

            “Fair enough, I won’t swear. But they will believe me when I show them pictures. And it doesn’t matter what they think. You’ll always be beautiful to me.” He pulled out a chair so I could sit. “And it’s not about looks so much as it is about how much I love you.” He sat down across from me.

            I took his hands in mine and watched as the candles from the table illuminated his face. “Oh?”

            “Appearance is only skin-deep like they say.” He ran his thumb over my hand. “And when I look at you…I see the woman who has been by my side for years. I see the woman who carried my child for nine months and went through hell delivering him. I see the woman who overcame the pressures of my lifestyle and ignored all those nasty rumors. I see the woman who lost so much but still loves twice as much. You’re the woman that made me cry when I saw her in her wedding dress. And I thought how stupid I was for waiting so long. And right now you’re the woman carrying my second child.”

            I dabbed at my eyes. “Sebastian, you promised you wouldn’t make me cry during our honeymoon.” I accused.

            He chuckled and kissed my knuckles. “I’m sorry, I just needed you to know how much I love you.”

            “You don’t need to tell me. I know already.”

            “I know. I just like reminding you. And I’ll remind you every day for the rest of our lives.” He gazed at me. “Is that okay?”

            “Of course. It’s more than okay.”

 

            Later that night after dinner, we decided to go to the resort’s bar. The bar led out onto a deck patio where a live band was playing and people were dancing. I stood by the bar with Sebastian for a bit, chatting and just enjoying the night. I didn’t miss drinking all that much. I realized this as three teenagers rowdily passed by us. One looked close to vomiting and I remembered some of the hangovers I’d gotten from college.

            Sebastian didn’t seem to be in a hurry to drink either as he nursed a beer. He rested his elbow on the counter and smiled over at me.

            “What?” I asked.

            “Nothing, I’m just really glad to be here with you.”

            “Glad enough to dance with me?” I wondered coyly.

            “I thought you were never going to ask.” He chuckled and put down his beer. He took my hand and we walked over to the dance floor.

            “My clothes are starting to get tight,” I complained as he pulled me close and my baby bump touched his hip.

            “Do you still have clothes left over from Luca’s pregnancy?” He asked and wrapped his arms around my hips.

            “Yeah, I gave some away but I kept my favorites just in case.” I nodded and rested my hands on his shoulders. “I’m not looking forward to morning sickness or my swollen feet.” I pouted.

            “It’s all worth it though. And you have your dashingly handsome husband who gives kick-ass foot rubs and holds your hair back.” He smirked.

            “Hm…I guess that makes it better.” We swayed back and forth to the music.

            He chuckled. “Well, anything you need, Luca and I will be there for you. I’m sure Rocket will be just as protective this time as he was last time too.”

            “So you might not get to touch me.” I reminded him.

            “Oh well, he’s just doing his job. Technically, he was there first.”

            “True…my first love.” I smiled and rested my cheek on his shoulder as he held me close. “Don’t let go,” I whispered.

            “I’m not, don’t worry.” He kissed my hair. “I never will.”


	26. Chapter 26

            Once we returned from our honeymoon, we were in baby countdown mode. We started converting the spare bedroom into a new nursery to get ready for the new arrival. As we worked, Luca was becoming more and more interested in the baby.

            He toddled into the room when Sebastian was putting Luca’s old crib back together and I was folding onsies on the floor. He lingered by the door for a bit, watching us. Then he wandered in, poking at the rocking chair and reaching down to touch the soft area rug in the center of the room.

            “Mama,”

            “Yes, baby?” I turned and smiled at him.

            “Why does the baby need a room?” He asked.

            “Because they need a place to sleep.” I reached a hand out to him so he would come closer.

            He walked over and sat on my lap. “Okay.” He nodded and reached for the small booties Georgeta had sent us. He studied them for a moment, tugging on the little bows on top. “Mama,”

            “Yes, my love?”

            “When the baby comes, are things gonna be different?” He asked.

            “Well, they might be a little different.” I wasn’t going to lie to him. I figured he might be a little wary of any changes. “Babies can take a lot of work. They can’t feed themselves or walk so we have to take care of everything for them. But that’s what parents do because we love them so much. Daddy and I loved taking care of you and we still do. One day, you won’t need daddy or me to help you with things. But no matter what, we’ll always be there for you.” I promised and kissed his cheek. “Like I said, even when you’re thirty, you’re still going to be my little boy. I have loved you from the moment you came into this world, and it’s going to be the same for your brother or sister.”

            Luca smiled slightly and glanced up at me. “I love you too, mama.”

            “Never forget it.” I murmured. “Now, why don’t you help me make lunch for daddy. He’s been working very hard.” I stood up and took Luca’s hand.

            “Mhm,” Sebastian said from the corner. “And daddy’s been doing a good job of not swearing even though the crib is giving him a hard time.”

            “And we’re all very proud of you.” I laughed. “Keep up the good work, champ.”

 

            Months later and I started to develop troubling symptoms. Even though I was over twenty weeks in, I started vomiting and had bad headaches. Although I was worried, I tried to stay calm. Sebastian was another story. He rushed me to the doctors after a few days of the symptoms. My OB/GYN didn’t see anything abnormal so she recommended I be on bed rest.

            I felt sick but I didn’t want to be in bed all day. I wanted to stay active as much as I could for Luca. Sebastian was busy, so I needed to be there for our son. We hired a mothers-helper for the times I was left alone with Luca, much to my dismay. I wanted to be the best mother I could and that meant taking care of Luca while I was still pregnant. But Sebastian insisted and I felt guilty that I was worrying him too much. This changed less than a week after the diagnosis.

            I was up in the kitchen, making Luca a snack when Sebastian came home. He must’ve heard someone rattling around as he walked in.

            “Hey Annie, it’s just me.” He called out to the woman we’d hired.

            “Not Annie, it’s me,” I replied and licked a glob of peanut butter off my fingers. “Luca, your snack is ready!”

            Sebastian walked into the kitchen just as Luca was running in. He snatched the plate of peanut butter crackers and ran off, Rocket at his heels. My husband looked confused. “Del, what are you doing up?”

            “Oh, I was just making Luca something.” I shrugged and put the peanut butter jar and box of crackers back in the pantry.

            “Where is Annie?” He put his keys down.

            “I sent her home early.”

            “Delilah…” He groaned. “We hired her so you didn’t have to overexert yourself.”     

            “Please, I’m pretty sure I can make my son a snack. I’m not overexerting myself. I haven’t had a headache today at all.” I pouted. “Besides, I’m bored.”

            “I know, and I’m sorry. But we need to make sure you and the baby are going to be fine.” He pointed out and brushed my hair back. “I’m going to take an early leave.” He decided.

            “No, Sebastian, you promised.” I protested. “You said you wouldn’t put your work aside.”

            “I can duck out on a few appearances, they’re all going to have to just deal with it. My family comes first.” He touched my cheek. “ _You_ come first. I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you or the baby.”

            “It wouldn’t be your fault.” I rebutted.

            He just shook his head and rested a hand on my stomach. “I forgot how stunning you look when you’re pregnant.” He murmured.

            I smiled. “You’re crazy.”

            “Crazy about you.” He corrected and kissed my cheek.

            “Mhm…”

            “What’s that?” Sebastian cocked his head. He bent down slightly and put both hands on my stomach, pretending to listen in. “Mom should go back to bed? Yeah, you’re right, baby. She needs to rest because the doctor told her to.”

            “Now you’re not playing fair.” I accused.

            He straightened up and placed both hands on my shoulders, steering me back to the bedroom. “Back to bed. I’m going to play with Luca a little and then I’ll come cuddle with you.” He promised.

            “You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Stan.” I waddled back to bed, lying down.

            “I’ll stop being crazy when the baby is born and you’re both safe and healthy.” He kissed my forehead. “Rest up.”

 

            Thirty-two weeks in, and I was diagnosed with preeclampsia. After finding my blood pressure was too high, the doctor did tests and determined I was experiencing the complication. My heart sank when I heard the news. The baby had to be delivered as soon as possible.

            “But I’m not even close to my due date,” I said to my OB/GYN. She was the same woman who had delivered Luca and helped me through my miscarriage.

            “I know, the baby will be premature, but if we wait any longer we could be risking more complications. Why don’t you call Sebastian? I’m going to call for an ambulance to bring you to the hospital.” She said and touched my shoulder as she stood up.

            I felt tears rising up in my throat as I took out my phone. I shakily dialed Sebastian’s number. I was terrified and I just wanted him by my side to hold me.

            “Hey, how did the appointment go? Are you on your way home?” He asked when he answered.

            “Uh…I need to go to the hospital.” I said. I couldn’t even think of how to explain what was going on. Suddenly, that was the day I was going to have a baby.           

            “What?” He went from zero to sixty with panic. “Why? What’s going on? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?”

            “Yeah…” I felt zoned out even though, I was worried sick. “I um…I’m going to have you talk to the doctor.” I decided. It would take too long to explain everything to him and I knew he was already too stressed to wait.

            As the doctor walked back in, I held the phone out to her. She raised an eyebrow but took it. “Hello? Ah yes, Mr. Stan. Okay, okay, calm down. Yes, she’s going to be just fine.” She assured him.            

            I couldn’t listen to the conversation anymore; I was too caught up in my worries. Could this be a repeat of the last time? Would I lose another baby? I thought I was in the clear. I thought everything would be okay. Worse case scenarios flooded my brain. I touched my stomach when I felt a kick. It was reassuring, to say the least.

           

            I arrived at the maternity ward and Sebastian was already there. He gathered me up into his arms.

            “Fucking hell I was so worried.” He buried his face in my hair. “You need to stop being so vague over the phone when it comes to babies.”

            I laughed quietly. “I’m sorry, I was just shocked.”           

            “Everything’s going to be okay.” He seemed stronger than I was. “I talked to the doctors, you and the baby will be perfect. They’re going to do a c-section.”

            I felt nauseous at the idea. Sure natural birth wasn’t painless but surgery sounded much more painful and much more dangerous. “That’s the only option?” I asked.  

            He swallowed and nodded. “I need you both to make it out of this.” He whispered. “I’m going to be by your side the whole time. If you need strength, I’m your guy.

            “Okay…let’s do this.”

 

            “Alright, Delilah, this is an IV going into your arm.” The nurse said gently and slid the needle in.

            I winced and felt my chest tighten. I was so anxious and it was showing.

            “Deep breaths.” Sebastian coached from my side. “We’re both taking deep breaths, right?”

            “You know, I have to say, Delilah,” The nurse smiled at me. “I love your husband’s movies but I think I love your red carpet dresses more.”

            I smiled and relaxed a little. The younger woman had a calming nature about her. “I don’t know, I think he cleans up pretty well. When he wants to, at least. You haven’t seen his Sunday mornings.”

            Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Sunday mornings are to be spent in pajamas.” He replied. “But I love that you’re giving up sensitive information.” He teased.

            “We were all so excited to see pictures from your wedding.” She said. “And then we heard you were pregnant again. We were all hoping you’d come back here. A few nurses said you had your first baby here and they saw you both.” She laughed softly. “I was so jealous because I wasn’t working that day.”

            “Well, I guess we’re all having a good time then.” Sebastian chuckled.

            “Says you,” I replied. “You’re not about to have your stomach ripped open.”

            “Graphic, but you’re right.”

            “Alright, Sebastian, if you could help me bring Delilah onto her side.” The nurse instructed and a few more people in scrubs came into the OR.

            He held my hands and I tilted my hips over, wincing at the uncomfortable position.

            “We’re going to do the injection for the spinal block now.” She said. “This is going to numb your lower half for the surgery.”

            “Okay…” I said shakily and started to sweat. Having a needle in my back wasn’t the first thing on my to-do list.

            “Hey, hey, hey, look at me.” Sebastian realized my panic. “It’ll be super quick, and after that, you won’t feel anything. We’re going to have our baby in no time.”

            “Is your little boy here?” The nurse asked, resting a hand on my arm for comfort.

            “N-no, he’s with his grandmother. They’ll be here in a bit.” I said, focusing on Sebastian’s face to distract myself.

            “Ready? One, two, three.”

            I closed my eyes tightly as I felt a sting. I felt Sebastian petting my hair back and kissing my forehead.

            “All done.” He whispered. “You’re okay.”

            I let out the breath I’d been holding in and opened my eyes. He smiled slightly at me.

            “You haven’t told me the names you’ve picked out yet.” He rubbed my arm as the nurse helped me lay back down.

            “I’m waiting until I see their face, just like Luca,” I told him and relaxed a little as I felt the numbing effects take place. “It’s just a matter of waiting.”

           

            The surgery was a strange experience. I couldn’t feel anything but my mind tricked me into believing I _should_ be in pain. So I cried and hung onto Sebastian’s hand. He kept asking whether I was in pain but I wasn’t. I was just so confused and so emotional.

            Less than an hour later, they announced that the baby was being pulled out. I heard a shrill cry and I automatically reached for my baby.

            “It’s a girl!” My OB exclaimed and the small, sticky human was placed on my chest.

            I was shaking as I tried to take in everything about her. She squirmed and wailed with an angry red face. “Oh, my God…” I whispered and touched my cheek to her.

            Then, just as quickly as she came, she was taken off my chest. “Wait…” I was in a daze.

            “We’re going to clean her off and make sure she’s healthy. We’re also going to stitch you up.” The doctor explained.

            “Okay.” I turned to Sebastian.

            He was wiping tears from his cheeks. He laughed tearfully and held me as close as he could. “She’s beautiful.” He kissed my cheeks and forehead. “Thank you.”

 

            Anamaria Stan was small but she was healthy. It wasn’t long before we could hold her. She had the same tuft of dark hair as Luca did when he was born.

            “Another Sebastian look-a-like,” I said wearily from the hospital bed. The recovery process was different than Luca’s birth. It was exhausting and a little frustrating. The nurses told me to sleep and rest but I wanted to spend as much time with Anamaria.

            Sebastian chuckled as he slowly paced around the room. He cradled her close, watching her sleep soundly in the swaddle. “She’s so much smaller than Luca was.” He said in awe. “I thought he was tiny but she’s…like micro-sized.”

            I smiled and sighed. “I’m just glad she’s okay. I was so worried.”

            “You and me both.” He sat down on the edge of the hospital bed so I could see Anamaria.

            “God…she was worth all of it.” I whispered and reached over to touch her chubby cheek with my thumb. She shifted in her swaddle a bit and yawned. She opened her eyes and blinked up at Sebastian.

            “Hi, beautiful.” He smiled down at her. “I’m your dad. That’s your mom….and your older brother will be here soon. We’ve been waiting a long time for you. We’re so excited you’re finally here.”


	27. Chapter 27

            Luca walked into the hospital room with my doctor. She smiled warmly and let him run up to Sebastian.

            “He’s so big.” My doctor sighed. “It feels like just yesterday we were swaddling him up and handing him to you.” She touched my shoulder.

            “I know.” I felt a wave of nostalgia. “Well, I think we’re stopping at two.” I decided and picked Anamaria up out of her bassinette.

            “That might be a good idea.” She agreed. “Your pregnancies tend to be high risk. The more children you have, the more dangerous it can get.”

            “Well, we’ve got the set now. A boy and a girl.” Sebastian scooped Luca into his arms. “Ready to meet your sister?”

            Luca looked over at the bundle and wrinkled his nose. “No.”

            I laughed a little. “Luca, baby, that’s not very nice. She’s been waiting all this time to meet you.”

            “I don’t wanna.” He buried his face in Sebastian’s neck.

            “Luc, she’s not going away, might as well meet her now.” He chuckled. But our son didn’t budge.

            “Let him warm up to her. Most siblings are a little nervous when it comes to meeting their baby brother or sister.” My doctor assured me. “How are you feeling?”

            “Good, just tired. I feel a lot weaker than after Luca.” I winced as I tried to sit up.

            Sebastian set Luca down and helped me. “How much longer will she have to stay?” He asked. I could tell he was getting sick of the hospital. He just wanted to be home with me, Luca, and our newest addition.

            “Let’s see how the rest of this day goes and assess from there.” My doctor said.

            I nodded. “Thank you,” I said and she left the room.

            Luca wandered around the hospital room, trying to touch things but Sebastian guiding him away.

            “Buddy, you can’t touch any of the machines, they’re helping mama.” He pulled Luca away from the heart rate monitor for the third time.

            “But I wanna see it!” Luca started to whine and stomped his feet.

            “Luca, no.” Sebastian knelt down to scold him. “Other people are trying to sleep in the hospital so we need to have quiet voices.” He hushed.

            “I don’t wanna be here!” He started to cry and flailed his hands.

            “Hey, I’m going to have bunica come and pick you up very soon if you don’t behave.” My husband made sure our son was looking him in the eyes. “You’ll have to go home and you won’t be able to see your baby sister until tomorrow.”

            Luca scrunched up his face in a big pout and started making noises, which I liked to describe as a muffled racecar engine.

            It was always hard to take him seriously when he was making growling noises with his lips tightly pursed. But Sebastian wasn’t laughing like he usually was.

            “Luca Christopher Stan, I’m going to count to three. You better cut out this behavior or you’re going home.”

            Luca glared at him and continued his noises.

            “One…”

            The racecar noises faltered a little but Luca crossed his arms over his chest.

            “Two…”

            Plan two formed in Luca’s head and he ran to me with tears in his eyes. “Mommy!” He cried.

            Sebastian sighed and stood up. “Luca…”

            “It’s okay,” I assured him. “Baby, you need to start behaving or you’re going to have to go home,” I said and stroked his hair back. “So please go sit in that chair for a minute. Daddy will come over with Anamaria if you’re being good.”

            Luca sniffled but it seemed to do the trick. He walked over and climbed up into the soft armchair in the corner of the room.

            Sebastian walked over to me with an exhausted look on his face. “I hate this hospital.” He grumbled.

            “I know.” I reached up with my free hand to touch his cheek. “We’ll be home soon though.” I kissed his forehead. “I put one of Luca’s favorite books in my bag. Why don’t you go read to them?”

            He sighed and smiled. “You’re the best mother.” He murmured.

            “And you’re the best father.” I let him take Anamaria.

            “Alright, are we all out of the grumpies?” Sebastian asked and walked over to the chair.

            Luca wiped his nose and nodded.

            “Good. Let’s read to Anamaria then. She hasn’t had story time yet.” Sebastian got them situated so Luca was sitting on his lap, holding the book open. Sebastian held Anamaria and wrapped an arm around Luca too. “Okay, Luca, this is your baby sister. Anamaria, this is your older brother.”

            Luca peered into the swaddle and studied her face. “Hi.” He said quietly.

            Sebastian smiled and kissed Luca’s hair. “Look at that, we’re all getting along. Now, let’s get this story on the road. Once upon a time…”

 

            “Ready?” I whispered and slowly opened the door for Luca, Anamaria, and Rocket. Luca was six and Anamaria was just shy of turning two. “Go get him.” I unleashed the wild kids.  

            They ran into our bedroom and scrambled up onto the bed where Sebastian was still fast asleep.

            “Daddy!” They both shouted as they started jumping on the bed. Rocket got to Sebastian’s face and started to lick him.

            My husband groaned and reached for a pillow to shield himself from the slobbery kisses. “Oh, boy…it’s father’s day already?”

            I laughed and turned off the video and saved it to post later. I walked over to the bed and helped Anamaria down. “Go get daddy his presents,” I said and shooed Rocket away.

            Sebastian set the pillow aside and looked up at me. “You know, it gets better every year.” He sighed.

            “Well, it’ll probably get worse once they start getting bigger.” I giggled and leaned down to peck his cheek.

            “Oh trust me, Luca’s getting up there. This year I thought we were in the middle of an earthquake before they started yelling.”

            “You love it.”

            “Well, it makes me feel like I deserve the presents.” He grinned and brought me closer to kiss him properly.

            “Ew!” Luca and Anamaria returned to find us kissing. “Gross!”

            I laughed and pulled away. “Ew, Sebby, don’t kiss me, that’s gross!” I accused. “Boys have cooties.”

            “Nu-uh! Girls have cooties!” Luca yelled and launched himself back on the bed.

            “That’s right. Girls have cooties.” Sebastian stuck his tongue out at me and cuddled Luca close.

            “Oh well, I guess when I make breakfast in bed it’s going to have a heap of cooties in it.” I sighed and went back to the kitchen.

 

            When I returned with the traditional father’s day breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes, strawberries, bacon, and lots of syrup, Luca and Anamaria were talking to Sebastian about their gifts.

            “That’s Rocket, and that’s me, and that’s Luca, and that’s you and mommy. You two are on the moon because I built a rocket and flew you guys up to the moon.” Luca pointed to the drawings on his card.

            Sebastian laughed and nodded. “Awesome, mom and dad have a summer home on the moon?”

            “With a pool!”

            “Sounds fun.” I got cuddled up in the nest of pillows and blankets. I set the tray of food down and handed out napkins first. Usually post-father’s-day-breakfast meant a whole lot of washing chocolate and syrup stains out of the bedspread. But it was worth it.

            “Mine, mine!” Anamaria shoved a small, wrapped gift towards Sebastian. She gave him a toothy smile.

            “What’s this?” He unwrapped the rock that she had found on a trip to the park. She’d taken a few sharpies and scribbled on a little masterpiece. “Wow! Is this an original Anamaria Stan work?” Sebastian gasped. “Look at the colors, I’ve got to say, baby girl, this is one of the best ones yet.” He kissed her cheek as he reached over to set the rock down on his nightstand. There was already a growing pile of rocks that she had found for him.

            Anamaria grinned and hugged him tightly. Luca reached for his present. “We made this in class.” He said and gave it to Sebastian.

            “Wow, buddy, look at this!” He pulled the small pin that read ‘Best Dad Ever’ in Luca’s scrawling penmanship. “I think I’m going to have to wear this to my next event.” And he would. In fact, he would wear it to _many_ events and always kept it safe with his cufflinks and tie clips. The Internet went into a little bit of a frenzy when they found out Luca had made it for Sebastian.

            Luca beamed proudly. “I used your favorite colors.” He said. “And I learned how to write a big B instead of a little B.”

            “It looks great, buddy, thank you so much.” He hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead.  

            “Mom’s turn?” I raised an eyebrow.

            Sebastian grinned. “Sure.”

            I pulled out a box and a sappy card I’d spent a few days writing. Holidays were always a good time to reflect on how much I loved him.

            Sebastian opened the box after reading the card. Inside was a small photo album he could take with him when he was traveling. It was full of pictures dating back from when we first met to just a few weeks before when Luca turned six. Underneath was an all black tie.

            He looked a little curious. “For a special occasion?” He asked.

            “We’ll talk about it later.” I nodded innocently. “Why don’t you guys go get daddy’s coffee on the kitchen counter.” I’d purposefully left it there so I could have a second to explain my gift.

            Eagerly, Luca, Anamaria, and Rocket all ran to the kitchen. I leaned over to kiss Sebastian softly.

            “Alright, let me know what it’s about.” He murmured when I pulled away.

            “It’s just a little prop for tonight.” I shrugged and batted my eyelashes.

            “Tonight?” He raised an eyebrow.

            “I may or may not have gotten Chris to babysit for tonight.”

            Sebastian groaned. “Oh hell yes.” He smirked. “I think I’m catching your drift now.” He murmured and kissed me again.


	28. Chapter 28

 

            “Mommy I’m so excited!” Anamaria practically hung off my arm as we got out of the car. Sebastian and I were taking the kids to the newest Disney movie. They had never been to a premiere before because we wanted to keep them out of the spotlight. But Sebastian told them about where we were going and Anamaria had a fit. Usually we tried not to give in to bad behavior but I figured it wouldn’t be fair if we saw the movie she had been waiting to see.

            So I dressed them both up and convinced Sebastian to let them go with us. He was reluctant, to say the least and we agreed to some rules. The kids wouldn’t be photographed on purpose, and if he did an interview, they would have nothing to do with it. They were there to see the movie.

            Luca loved attention though. He was a mini-Stan through and through. He liked dressing up like Sebastian, being dramatic like Sebastian, keeping his hair like Sebastian, and he landed the lead every time in his school plays. If Sebastian kept his hair long or short for a movie, Luca demanded the same. I drew the line at him wanting to dye his hair blond because Sebastian did.

            Anamaria just loved life. She was a happy little girl and always had a smile on her face. Everyone on Sebastian’s sets fought over who got to spoil her the most. Anthony and Chris were wrapped around her finger. If she wanted to play princesses, you could bet they were in tiaras and feathery boas. But she had a feisty streak to her too. She loved playing superheroes with her dad and Luca. She and her brother fought over who got to be Captain America. They both wanted to have Sebastian be their sidekick. And she could throw a tantrum like nothing I’d seen before. I blamed it on Sebastian, Anthony, Chris, and every other one of the Marvel cast spoiling her. But I spoiled her too.

            She skipped a few steps and left my side to grab onto Sebastian’s hand.

            “I’m holding dad’s hand,” Luca said stubbornly.

            “I want to hold his hand.”

            “You can both hold my hand,” Sebastian assured them. “I have two hands so I can hold both of your hands.”

            I smiled and touched his shoulder. “Super dad, able to hold two hands at one time.”

            He grinned and leaned over to kiss my cheek.

            “Make sure you hold onto dad’s hand tightly,” I said as we made our way through the crowd.       

            “Uncle Chris!” Anamaria screeched and launched herself into his arms when she saw him walking over.

            “Hey, Ana-Bear!” He caught her quickly. “Look at you!”

            “I’m wearing the cape other Uncle Chris gave me.” Anamaria held out the Thor-style cape that Chris and Elsa Hemsworth gave her for her birthday.

            “I can see that. And Luca, are you wearing Hugo Boss like your dad?”

            Luca laughed and wrinkled his nose. “I dunno who that is.”

            “Can you watch them for a second? I think we’re supposed to get some pictures done.” Sebastian said.

            “Yeah of course. C’mon guys, let’s get some popcorn.” Chris carried Anamaria into the building as he held Luca’s hand.

            “Why isn’t he married yet?” I asked as Sebastian held an arm out to me.

            “Don’t ask me. I’ve tried setting him up so many times. He’s too focused on his career.” He sighed and escorted me to the blinding lights.

            “Hm…we’ll keep trying.” I decided and followed Sebastian’s direction. I had been photographed many times over the years but he was still much better at it than I was. He was able to focus and listen to the requests from the photographers. So I relied on him for guidance.

            Sebastian wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my temple. “You look beautiful.” He murmured in my ear.

            “Well thank you, my handsome husband,” I replied.

            He chuckled. “My wife thinks I’m beautiful even after six years of marriage.”

            “Think we’ll make it to ten?” I teased.

            “Oh, gorgeous, you’re stuck with me for good.”

            I smiled more naturally as I looked over at him. “Good.”

 

            While things seemed to be going perfectly, there were still shaky parts of our relationship. But that was a given. I knew no marriage was perfect and I was confident we could work through things.

            One of those tremors in our marriage appeared when I surprised Sebastian during an interview. I had the kids and knew Sebastian was interviewing somewhere not too far from the playground. So we dropped in and came into the room.

            Sebastian’s face lit up when he saw us. He completely lost his train of thought. “Sorry, my wife and kids just walked in and I haven’t seen them all day.” He jumped up and came to kiss my cheek. “Hey.” He whispered and then kissed Luca and Anamaria.

            “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.” I winced.

            “No it’s fine, I’m super bored. Stay and we can go get food after.” He said quickly and kissed me again before returning to his seat.

            The interviewer didn’t seem to mind and continued with the line of questioning.

            “So you’re filming something new and it’s much different from your usual stuff. It’s a bit more romantic. How are you getting along with your co-star, Naomi?”

            I sat down with the kids and motioned for them to stay quiet. Sebastian kept glancing over to us as the guy asked the question; I could see the disinterest in his eyes. I gave him a look and nodded for him to keep going.

            “Naomi’s great. She’s pretty new on the scene, and she’s got a lot of promise, I think.”

            “So is it easy or tough to do more romantic works when you’re married?”

            Sebastian laughed. “Oh, trust me, it’s pretty easy. I mean, I’m an actor so it’s harder to do stunts or more emotional scenes than it is pretending to love someone else. I mean, no one’s asked me whether or not I’m tempted by Chris Evans or Anthony Mackie.” He grinned.

            I smiled slightly but I got a bad feeling in my gut. I had never met the young woman Sebastian was filming with. I’d been too busy with taking care of the kids and working that I hadn’t visited him. I didn’t feel threatened by her, but I didn’t want new rumors to surface that Sebastian was cheating on me. He didn’t need that damaging his career.


	29. Chapter 29

             I made a trip to his set a few days later. I hated being overbearing but I wanted to make sure everyone knew we were fine and well. Sebastian and I still loved each other no matter what.

            Sebastian walked over when he saw me. “Hey!” He smiled and leaned over to kiss me softly. “You’re just having fun surprising me this week, aren’t you?”

            I smiled and felt more relaxed than I was when I walked onto the studio lot. As long as he was acting normally, I didn’t have to worry about anything.

            “Naomi, come meet my wife.” Sebastian waved her over. “This is Naomi.” He told me as she walked over.

            I could instantly see the way she looked at him. She was young, maybe in her twenties, obviously hadn’t had two kids, and appeared confident. Too confident. She looked me in the eyes and plastered on a smile.

            “Oh hey.” She nodded. “Sebastian, we’re doing another take soon.” She said and touched his shoulder.

            “Alright, be there in a minute.” He nodded to her.

            I felt sick when she gave him a sultry smile. “So…everything’s going well.”

            “Yeah, it’s not as exciting as a Marvel set but it’s alright.” He shrugged. “I would rather be home with the kids.” He admitted quietly.

            I was at least relieved to hear that. “And Naomi? She must have a boyfriend.”

            “I don’t know. We haven’t talked much between takes.”

            I was starting to piece together the pieces. “Think she has a crush on you?” I wondered.

            “What? No.” He shook his head.

            “Are you sure? I mean, you’re not too bad to look at and you’re acting like you’re in love.” I pointed out.

            “She knows I’m married.”

            “Has that stopped everyone? Maybe you should talk to her about it. You don’t want to give her false hope.” I said. “Lord knows what it’s like to pine after you.”

            He laughed. “Hey, you didn’t have to pine over me for too long.”

            “Just six years.”

            “Well, that’s how long we’ve been married.”

            “Yeah, it’s a long time.”

            “Doesn’t feel like it.”

            I smiled and nudged him. “C’mon, Stan, I don’t love you that much.” I teased. “We’re friends at best.”

            “Casual acquaintances.” He grinned.

            “Eh, maybe.”

            He chuckled and leaned over to kiss my forehead. “I’ve gotta go get this shot done. I’ll be home tonight.”

            “Love you.” I pulled him back for one more kiss. Naomi could kiss him a few times, I would get to get the real feeling though.

 

            About a week later, Sebastian had to leave to film a few states over. I didn’t think anything would happen and it just seemed to be a usual trip.

            Georgeta offered to pick the kids up from school while I completed editing on a few shots I’d done the week before.

            “Mommy!” Luca and Anamaria burst through the door with their Marvel backpacks.

            I turned away from my computer and smiled. I was glad for the break away from touching up wedding pictures. “Hi, babies!” I held out my arms to both of them. “How was school?”

            “Good.” They both chimed off.

            “My hands are pink!” Anamaria held her little fingers up to me.

            “Oh my goodness, they are!” I looked up to Georgeta for answers.

            Sebastian’s mom shook her head. “Art class.” She explained. “Her teacher said it should wash off easily.”

            “Oh good, Ana, go with your bunica and wash your hands. Make sure to take a picture for daddy first!” I called as they went to the bathroom.

            Luca lingered by my side. “When’s dad coming home?” He asked quietly.

            “Soon, sweetie,” I promised and stroked his hair back. “He’s going to visit us this weekend,” I promised.

            Rocket padded over to us and rested his head in my lap. I smiled warmly.      “Why don’t you go do your homework with Rocket?” I said softly. The Great Dane was going on twelve and had slowed down significantly. But his main goal in life was still to protect the kids and me.

            Rocket’s joints cracked slightly as he tried to trot next to Luca. My son smiled and slowed down so he didn’t have to rush. “C’mon buddy.” He said and walked with him to his room.

            I turned back to my computer but another distraction pulled me away. I smiled instantly when I saw Sebastian’s name on my phone.

            “Hey. How’s everything going?” I asked.

            “Good uh…I need to talk to you about something.”

            My heart sank a little just by the tone in his voice. “What? Is everything okay?” I asked. I knew it was unlucky he would get hurt on this set. So I ruled out any injuries unless he got in a car accident. My mind went crazy in the brief moments he waited to answer.

            “Yeah, everything’s okay. Something happened last night, and I need to talk to you about it.”

            He sounded uncomfortable and talked quietly. “I guess you were right about Naomi.”

            “What?”

            “I was in my hotel room last night and she came in saying her shower didn’t have any hot water. I let her in and she tried to kiss me.”

            “Huh.” I didn’t feel jealous or even threatened in the slightest. I knew my husband would’ve turned her away. “Well she’s bold, I’ll give her that.”

            “Aren’t you upset?” Sebastian asked.

            “Well, you didn’t do anything, right?”

            “No of course not. I love you and we have the kids and…”

            “Then I’m not upset,” I assured him. “I’m sure plenty of fans and other women have tried to flirt with you.”

            “Yeah, but she tried to kiss me. She was trash talking you and saying I should leave you.”

            “Well, that would be a good tactic if you weren’t as sweet as you are.” I shrugged and pressed the phone to my shoulder so I could continue working.

            “Del, you seem really calm about this.” He probably expected me to get the next flight down and confront her.

            “She’s young and she’s been around you for weeks. I told you before, I don’t blame her. But you need to remind her that you’re married and set some boundaries. Talk to the producer if you have to.”

            “Yeah…maybe I’ll do that.” He said, relief flooding his voice.

            “Why don’t you tell her there are plenty of guys in the business who would love to spend time with her.” I offered. “She’s beautiful and I’m sure a lot of actors her age would kill for a date.”

            Sebastian chuckled. “Remember when you almost tore Hayden’s head off because she was my physical therapist?”

            “Hey, I didn’t say anything to her face. Besides, we’re best friends now. Oh, guess who got the invitation to her and Megan’s wedding?”

            “About time. Am I invited too?”

            “I guess you can be my plus one.” I smiled.

            He sighed deeply. “I miss you so much. When Naomi was trying to kiss me, all I could think about was you. I wanted you to be there in front of me. Even after all the years, we’ve been together, my heart still skips a beat when I think about you.”

            My heart nearly melted. “Sebs…”

            “I think I’m spending too much time reading this script, it’s so mushy.”

            I laughed. “Well, you’re like I love the mushy side of you and the seductive side.”

            He groaned. “Don’t even mention that. I’m desperate, it’s been almost two weeks.”

            “Well, when you come home, we’ll have a few nights to ourselves,” I promised.

            “I miss you.” He said again.

            “Talk to the producer and Naomi. I’m sure everything will work out.”

            “Alright, see you this weekend.”

 

 


	30. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried when I was writing this because honestly, dogs are my everything.

            “Four…”

            “Five…”

            “Six…”

            “Seven…”

            “Eight…”

           

            I stood up from my desk and poked my head into the next room. “Uh…what’s going on?”

            Anamaria giggled as Sebastian hoisted her above his head like a weight. “I’m a dumbbell.”

            I couldn’t help but giggle a little. “Is dad too busy to actually go to the gym?” I raised an eyebrow.

            Sebastian grinned. “I thought this was the reason we had children.” He said and lifted Anamaria again, holding her up for a few seconds. “The more they grow, the more weight you have to be able to lift.”

            I sighed. “You two are so silly.”

            “Mom!” I turned when I heard Luca yell for me.

            I hurried down the hall, afraid he’d fallen or something. “Luca baby? Are you okay?” I rushed into his room.

            He was sitting on the floor with Rocket by his knees. There were tears in his eyes.

            “What? What’s wrong?”

            “He just…”

            I realized Rocket’s eyes were closed and his stomach wasn’t moving. “Oh, my God…” He knelt down and lifted Rocket’s head slightly but he was completely limp. “Sebastian!” I cried.

            “Mom…” Luca started to break down.

            “Oh, honey, no…” My voice shook as I gathered him up in my arms. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” I rocked him slightly.

            “I’m sorry…”

            “You didn’t do anything. He was very old, he lived a great life.” I felt my throat thicken and I tried to keep my composure.

            Sebastian walked in. “What happened?”

            “Rocket…”

            “Oh geez…oh no.” Sebastian sank down to wrap his arms around us. “Sh, Luca, it’s alright. He was a good dog, wasn’t he? You took very good care of him.”

            Luca sobbed and clung to us tightly. “Y-yes.”

            “I’m sure he was nice and comfortable and was just happy to be beside you. Now he’s going to dog heaven.” Sebastian soothed us both. “He had a really good life. He was very spoiled and very loved.”

            I stroked Luca’s hair softly and kissed his forehead. “He loved you from the day you were born. He always protected you. And he did a good job, didn’t he?”

            Luca was inconsolable and couldn’t answer.

            “C’mon, let’s say goodbye and then we’ll find a nice spot for him to rest in the backyard. What about under the tree where he liked to lay?” Sebastian suggested.

            Luca nodded shakily and reached out to pet Rocket’s ears. “Bye, buddy.” He whispered.

 

            We buried Rocket in the backyard and had a little grave made with his name on it. Anamaria was a little confused on the subject but Luca was heartbroken. I spent a few nights up with him, comforting him.

            But all pain subsided and life continued on.

 

            For our tenth anniversary, Sebastian rented a small beach house on Long Island. The kids were with their grandparents and the new puppy. We waited a few years until we decided to get another dog. The Great Dane puppy was the same coloring as Rocket was but with white speckles all over his face and ears. So we all gave her the name of Galaxy or Gal for short. Luca was convinced she was Rocket reincarnated.

            But they were all under the watchful eye of Georgeta so there wasn’t much to worry about. I was anxious to spend some quality time with my husband of ten years. Sebastian had found a secluded little cottage on the beach and it was nothing but perfect for the occasion.

           

            One night, we laid out a few blankets to look up at the stars. It was a little chilly so we were all bundled up together.

            “Alright, this is going to sound super cheesy but I’m feeling nostalgic.” He warned.

            “Okay, bring it on.” I smiled.

            “What has been your favorite part of our relationship so far?” He asked and looked over at me with loving eyes.

            “Hm…that’s not easy. Could you narrow it down? Like favorite part of the last week and then keep going month by month?”

            He chuckled and shook his head. “Nope, you’ve got to pick from the whole relationship.”

            “Okay, okay, fine. Let’s see…I really liked our wedding…”

            “I did too, wonderful event.”

            “Our honeymoon was fun.”

            “Lots of sex, I agree.”

            I laughed and nudged him. “It was more than just sex. But of course, I loved when we met.”

            “Fairytale, yep.”

            “And the kids.”

            “Of course.”

            “But honestly, I think one of my favorite memories was when Anamaria said ‘dada’ for the first time.” I decided.

            “Oh yeah?” He smiled at the memory. “Yeah, that was a good one.”

            “I mean it was cute when Luca said it but I’ll never forget her first word. Because you and Luca were trying to get her to say it. You were sitting on the floor and she was under that plaything. She was sitting and chewing on her teething ring. You guys tried for almost ten minutes before she just spat out a loud ‘dada’. It was adorable.”

            Sebastian laughed. “Are you sure she didn’t say it because she just wanted to get us to leave her alone?”

            “Maybe…either way it was cute. And your eyes lit up…it was so perfect. I just wanted to get into your mind to know what you were thinking. I’m upset I didn’t get it on camera.”

            “Well, you’ll remember it for a long time.” He kissed my temple. “As for what I was thinking, I guess I was thinking about how lucky I got. I had two kids with the most beautiful woman in the world. Every father and husband loves to reach a milestone. Like tonight.”

            “Hm…” I nuzzled his cheek. “What was your favorite moment?” I wondered.

            “Well, I also like the things you mentioned. I will never forget the way you looked at our wedding. And our kids are my life, obviously. But one of my favorite moments was when you spent the night at my place for the first time, back in LA.”

            “Really?” I rested my chin on his chest to look up at him. “Why is that?”

            “Well, I can remember that night perfectly. You had just picked up Rocket from the airport. We had talked about your photographs. We got take-out for dinner from that Italian place down the road. You started to put a few of your things in my drawers and put your toothbrush next to mine.” He smiled sheepishly. “I dunno, I thought it was something pretty monumental.” He chuckled at my starry-eyed look. “Anyways, you got changed for bed. You wore uh…that old Red Wings t-shirt. It was gray and had a vintage look. You also wore those flannel pants with the stripes. You said they were like the classic pajama look.”

            I giggled. “I loved those pants,” I remembered.

            “You had your hair up in a top bun and you took off your makeup in front of me for the first time. You complained that you were breaking out on your forehead and said you were an adult so you shouldn’t have acne. But you looked so beautiful to me; I had no idea what you were talking about. You kissed me and laid down on the side of the bed that I used to sleep on. But honestly, I didn’t even care.”

            “I did?” I looked surprised. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

            He shrugged. “Because you were in my bed, you honestly could’ve taken up the whole space and all the blankets and I still wouldn’t have cared.”

            “Sebs…”

            “Then, Rocket found his spot on my feet.”

            I laughed and stuck out my lower lip. “I miss him.” I sighed.

            “I do too. You two just instantly became a part of my life and I loved it so much. You said you were going to read a little so you propped yourself up on the pillows and pulled out your Kindle. You were reading the _Girl on the Train._ I honestly hadn’t sat down and read anything in such a long time so I just grabbed whatever was on my nightstand and joined you.”

            “What were you reading?”

            “I don’t even remember. I don’t think I was actually reading…I was really just focused on you.” He admitted. “You ended up falling asleep as you were reading. So I took the Kindle out of your hands, turned off the light, and kissed your forehead.”

            I felt tears in my eyes as he finished explaining the moment. “You remembered all of that from over a decade ago?” I asked.

            “Of course. I told myself I wouldn’t forget any of it because I was falling so hard for you. I never wanted it to end and I prayed that we would stay together. You were too perfect to give up.”

            I swallowed and rose up to kiss him softly. His hands went to the small of my back and he held me as close as he could.

            As he pulled away he looked into my eyes. He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and smiled. “Now look at you, you’re my wife and the mother of my two perfect children. I thought that getting roles in movies would be my measure of happiness. I assumed that I’d be too busy to fall in love or sustain a relationship. But…you proved that all wrong for me. You proved that it didn’t matter what my career was. You were the only thing that mattered and that won’t change. You, Luca, Anamaria, and Gal are the most important things in my life. If I never got another role, I’d still be happy.” He murmured.

            I sighed and tried not to cry. “I love you too much, I can’t stand it.”

            “I love you too.” He smiled. “My beautiful, Delilah.”

           


End file.
